


Bonded

by AoiTsukikage



Series: Bonded [1]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Future Fic, Light Angst, M/M, Vampires
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:12:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 57,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6941272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AoiTsukikage/pseuds/AoiTsukikage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sure, Ritsu had always said he was a vampire, but Mao had never really believed it.  Now he was starting to.  Ritsu/Mao.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Mao Isara had a lot of plans for the summer after his first semester of University. 

Seeing friends he hadn’t hung around with for a few months? Probably. 

Spending some time with his family? Definitely. 

Maybe even taking a trip somewhere if he had time and the weather was nice. 

Mao Isara, however, did _not_ expect to spend the summer dealing with a vampire. 

But of course, that’s exactly what happened. 

000

He’d noticed Ritsu had been clingy since he’d gotten back from school, but considering they hadn’t spent much time together since he’d gone away in April, that part of it wasn’t surprising. 

In fact, part of him had wondered if Ritsu had even left his house at all, since the other boy…no, they were nearly adults now, so Ritsu wasn’t a boy anymore…looked more pale and sickly than ever. 

The first time Mao had gone to visit they hadn’t even gotten out of his room, Ritsu all but dragging himself over and flopping on Mao only to promptly fall asleep again (Mao had noticed his brother hanging around and looking concerned but from what he could tell Rei _always_ looked concerned about Ritsu so that wasn’t much of a hint as to how Ritsu was doing). 

Even when night fell and Ritsu would normally get a burst of energy it had barely made a difference, his lethargy only leaving long enough for him to eat something and then collapse on Mao again, and it was seriously worrying. 

He didn’t want to dote, since he’d promised himself before leaving for University that he couldn’t be expected to babysit Ritsu anymore and he wouldn’t feel guilty about not being there, but it was hard to see his friend like this. 

The only way he was even able to get home that night was by bodily moving Ritsu off of him and slipping out while the other boy was still asleep, but when he came back the next morning it hardly seemed as if Ritsu had moved and the his skin was ice-cold to the touch. 

After about three days, Mao was seriously considering taking Ritsu to get help because if anything he was getting worse.  They hadn’t even really spoken to each other, in fact, and Mao had wondered if he shouldn’t talk to Rei about it before Ritsu had woken up with a start and looked at him, blood-red eyes almost seeming to glow in the semi-darkness.

“Ritsu?” he’d asked, not sure if Ritsu was really awake, and the next thing he knew there was a sharp sting on his neck.

Ritsu’s mouth was clamped there, a sound coming from his throat that was almost a growl, and Mao tried to push him off only to find that Ritsu had apparently gotten a lot stronger in the past few months because he wasn’t budging an inch. 

“Ri-“ he’d started to protest before something came over his body and he fell back limp against the couch.  It was like he couldn’t move, like all of his limbs had turned to jelly, and a few seconds later he realized he didn’t _want_ to move because the feelings of shock and horror were turning to something far more pleasurable. 

And that was the weirdest part of it, because even though the rational part of his brain knew that what was happening wasn’t good, he was wrapped in an almost euphoric sort of pleasure that overrode everything else. 

 It only lasted a few seconds (mostly because he’d blacked out after that) but it was what he remembered more than anything else after the fact because he’d _never_ experienced anything like that before.

And, despite the fact that his lifeblood was draining out of his body, the thing he wanted the most was to feel like that again. 

000

Well, at least until he woke up.

At that point he mostly just felt woozy and weak, though one glance around the room told him he was still at the Sakuma house. 

He tried to sit up, abandoning that plan when his body still wouldn’t respond properly, and a tightness at his throat had him reaching up to find that it had been wrapped in bandages. 

“Mao-kun?”

“Sakuma-sen…” he stopped, because they were both graduated now so there was no need for high-school formalities.  “Rei,” he corrected himself.  “What…”

“Forgive me,” Rei was seated beside the bed, his long hair tied back and a pair of reading glasses perched on his nose as he held a book in one hand.  “I should have been keeping a closer watch on the two of you.  I knew he would make a move soon, but I hadn’t suspected…” he sighed heavily and set the book aside.  “Well, I reached you in time regardless, although you may feel weak for a few hours yet.”

“What _happened?”_ Mao finally managed to both finish his question and push himself to a sitting position, though both of those things took a tremendous effort.  

“What do you remember?” Rei asked softly and Mao furrowed his brow, trying to think back. 

“Ritsu was…” he bit his lip and looked down at the blankets covering his legs.  “He bit my neck.  And then I felt…strange, like I was close to fainting but so happy I didn’t care.”

“It’s as I thought,” Rei murmured and went to stare out the window, a few loose strands of hair falling forward to frame his angular face.  “In all honestly I’m surprised it took this long, but perhaps merely being around you was enough to curb the beast until now.”

“What are you talking about?” Mao blinked, more confused than ever.  “What’s wrong with Ritsu?”

“Wrong?” Rei looked at him in surprise.  “Nothing, young one.  Ritsu’s exactly as he should be, though perhaps you returning home when you did was fortuitous as his strength had begun to wane of late.”

“I’m still confused,” Mao really wasn’t getting any answers and Rei gave him a smile then, his canine teeth extending past his lower lip a little and making it look more intimidating than reassuring. 

“We’re vampires, Mao-kun.  It’s only natural that, after so long apart, he’d need to feed,” he said it so matter-of-factly that Mao had to blink and process it for a few seconds. 

“Don’t give me that, I know you’re not…” he stopped, because they _couldn’t_ be…right?  Rei just acted like he was really old because it was a quirk of his.  They slept in coffins for fun.  Both of them grew weak in sunlight and Ritsu didn’t like garlic because that was just how they were.  They were only active at night because…

Well, fuck. 

There were coincidences, and then there was making excuses to cover the truth, and looking at the long list of things he’d just run through his mind…he was doing the second one. 

“I see you’ve pieced everything together,” Rei’s smile was more kindly now, and for the first time Mao could see the wisdom in his eyes and appreciate just how _old_ they seemed.  “Yes, Mao-kun, we’re vampires.  ‘Real’ ones, as you might put it.”

“Fuck,” he said aloud this time, reaching to touch the bandages again.  “Wait, if he bit me…”

“Don’t worry,” Rei shook his head.  “The stories you hear have some shreds of truth to them, perhaps, but overall they’re greatly exaggerated.  You can’t be turned into a vampire just because you’ve been bitten by one.”

“Oh,” Mao was relieved to hear that, but it still didn’t explain why Ritsu was biting him in the first place.  “So what’s up with him?”

“Didn’t you ever find it odd that, despite us being neighbors since you were born, you didn’t meet Ritsu for several years?” he asked vaguely and Mao thought about that for a while, realizing that for the first several years of his life he’d merely assumed the rather oddly-styled home next to theirs had been vacant. 

“But I met Ritsu as a kid,” he replied.  “I mean, both of you looked like kids, so how….”

“Mao-kun,” Rei suddenly looked much older than his apparent age and Mao recoiled a little in surprise.  “Do you think that, as ageless immortal beings, we can’t change our appearance at will?  It’s possible for us to age naturally along with humans, at least for a time.”

“Oh,” he supposed that made sense, but it still didn’t explain one thing.  “So why me?  Why did he decide to do it for me?”

Rei shrugged one shoulder, the lines on his face and the streaks of silver in his dark hair melting away until he looked like a young man again.  “That, I cannot say, and I suspect he won’t be able to tell you either.  Every so often we find humans that we wish to bond with, and the pull is impossible to ignore.  Ritsu had turned himself into a child and run out to meet you before I could even react,” he chuckled.  “It was about the right time, though.  The school knows about us, of course, but even so we need to be careful to not reveal ourselves more than once per generation so that those who live nearby won’t be suspicious.”

“That makes sense,” Mao nodded, since having immortal vampires for neighbors would become obvious pretty quickly.  “Is that why Ritsu didn’t go to University?”

“There’s no point to continue education past high school, no,” Rei agreed.  “And he mostly stayed there as an excuse to be near you, but I should thank you for taking care of him while I was…away,” he waved a hand vaguely.  “Wanderlust, you see.  He was here for you, but when I needed to seek somebody out, I had to go on my own.”

“So that’s why you were gone?” Mao leaned against the headboard, feeling at least a little more at ease now. 

Okay, yeah, his best friend was a vampire, but it wasn’t like it _changed_ anything about who he was, and Mao was at least getting the impression that Ritsu hadn’t been trying to kill him or anything. 

“Mm.  It took longer than expected which is why he came to resent me, but for as long as I can remember, it’s always been the two of us.  I don’t truly know if we’re real brothers, but that hardly matters after hundreds of years of acting as such,” he chuckled.

“How old _are_ you guys?” Mao narrowed his eyes, because he was amending his previous ‘nothing had changed’ statement now since Ritsu having lived for centuries was definitely different than Ritsu being a nineteen-year-old boy. 

“You lose track after a while,” Rei admitted with a shake of his head.  “Suffice to say that we’re much older than we appear.”

“Huh,” Mao was trying to process that, frowning as he pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms around them.  “So…what did you mean when you said he needed a human to bond with?”

“Well, as you can imagine, even undead creatures cannot sustain themselves indefinitely,” Rei sat down on the bed and Mao shifted a little to give him room.  “Of course blood is the obvious answer to keeping our bodies from just disintegrating, but being able to…feed off of living creatures is just as effective.  He wants your life-force, Mao-kun.  Your energy and the spirit that makes you human, that’s what he was attracted to.”

“So…what does that mean?” Mao was a little suspicious now because that didn’t _sound_ like a particularly good thing. 

“It’s not dangerous to you,” Rei promised.  “But being around a human that a vampire has felt bonded to will make them seem more human as well.”

“So when I left for University, he started to shut down because I wasn’t around?” Mao sat up a little more.  “Why didn’t he tell me? What would happen if I didn’t come back?”

“He would go to sleep, eventually, and not wake up until the next time he felt the presence of a human he could bond with,” he murmured.  “Which I’m liable to do if I don’t find one myself, soon, since the War…” his eyes darkened.  “Well, let’s just say it took a lot out of me and my energy has been waning ever since.”

“Does anybody else know you guys are…y’know…” Mao asked. 

“I suspect that Tsukinaga-kun might well know since he was the one who found me once when my energy was depleted, but for the most part we keep to ourselves since the general public’s perception of vampires isn’t exactly a positive one,” he pointed out. 

Mao nodded, falling silent after that because this was a _lot_ to take in, but he had one more question that was niggling at the back of his mind and it was the one he really wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer to. 

“So today…why did he bite me?  And why did I feel…” he blushed, his hands curling into the blankets as he averted his eyes. 

“Probably a combination of relief that you returned to him and being unable to deny his feelings any longer,” Rei replied, reaching to lay a hand on Mao’s knee through the sheet.  “You see, Mao-kun, when a vampire bites the one they’ve bonded with, the recipient will feel…”

Mao nodded, closing his eyes and trying to hide.  

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” Rei promised.  “Ritsu’s felt that way about you since he met you, but I’m sure he thought it would be…inappropriate to make that kind of move before you were grown.  As long as he was near you he could maintain enough energy to function, but I have a feeling he’s going to be much more energetic in the coming days,” he chuckled and Mao _wanted_ to say something, but all he could think about was how his brain was screaming at him about how _wrong_ this was. 

“Rei, I’m not…that is…I don’t like guys,” Mao said quickly and Rei blinked at him, his mouth falling open a little. 

“…I see.  That could complicate matters,” he admitted.  “Though, since Ritsu’s managed to be fine for this long with your relationship remaining platonic, it will probably work out.”

“But you said he’d have more energy and be able to function better if we were…” he mumbled.  “D’you guys call it…mating?  Or…”

“Mates, yes, that’s generally the word we use,” he nodded.  “But don’t worry about it.  You don’t need to force yourself to be something you aren’t for an immortal, and nothing bad will happen to him,” he said brightly, patting Mao’s knee again before withdrawing his hand.  “I suspect he’ll want to see you, though, so do you feel up to that?”

“Yeah,” Mao said immediately, even though he really wasn’t sure if he was.  Ritsu was…different, now, no matter how much Mao wanted to tell himself things were the same, and the thought of an immortal, undead being wanting to have…that sort of relationship with him was making him question a lot of things. 

“Okay.  I’ll go…”

Before he could get up, however, the door slammed open and Ritsu was standing there.

He looked demonic, eyes flashing and fangs bared (and oh, fuck, they were still tinted red and Mao knew it was _his blood_ and he was starting to feel a little light-headed again).  “Don’t keep me from him!”

“You need to calm down,” Rei stood up and suddenly he seemed…bigger than normal, the air around him shifting into something dark that Ritsu recoiled from.  “You almost killed him because you were too hasty and couldn’t control yourself.”

“I’ve controlled myself for over ten years!”  Ritsu protested, and the transformation Mao was seeing was rather amazing. 

Gone was the sleepy, unaffected boy he’d known and in his place was somebody who looked older and incredibly alert, his voice no longer languid and lazy, and while it was still Ritsu it also… _wasn’t._

“Ritchan?” he called out cautiously, causing Ritsu to look at him with wide eyes. 

“Maa-kun,” he took a hesitant step forward and then, when Rei made no move to stop him, made his way over to the bed and clambered under the covers to cuddle up to Mao’s side.  “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled against Mao’s shoulder. 

“It’s…I know,” Mao patted his back rather awkwardly.  “Rei explained everything to me.”

Ritsu didn’t say anything in response, his breath coming in harsh pants against Mao’s neck.  “I’d rather fade away than see you die because of me,” he whispered, and Mao wondered if that’s what happened to vampires when their time was up…whatever that meant, since Rei didn’t say anything about them even being _able_ to die. 

“I’m okay,” Mao promised, nuzzling his nose into Ritsu’s dark hair.  “I’m okay, Ritchan, I promise.”

“I’m sorry I lied to you.”

“Well, you always said you were a vampire, so that’s not really a lie,” Mao tried to lighten the mood a little but Ritsu didn’t seem appreciative since he didn’t react.  “I probably wouldn’t have believed you, though.”

“I should have been able to control myself.  I know you don’t…think of me that way,” Ritsu murmured, and Mao held him a little tighter. 

“No,” he admitted.  “But I do love you.  You know that.”

Ritsu nodded, his arms wrapping around Mao as he clung to him like a child. 

Except he wasn’t a child, Mao reminded himself.  He was hundreds of years old, and Mao still wasn’t sure how to feel about that. 

“You should sleep more,” Ritsu said suddenly.  “I took a lot of blood,” he reached to touch the bandages and Mao flinched involuntarily. 

He saw the flash of hurt in Ritsu’s eyes before the vampire pulled away, and Mao grabbed his wrist to stop him. 

“No, I hurt you and you have every right to not want me near you,” he stopped trying to get away, though, and settled onto the bed again.

“You could have hurt me for years and you controlled yourself, and I know it only happened because I was away for so long.  I promise I won’t leave you like that again,” he took Ritsu’s hand and held it tightly. 

“Okay,” Ritsu moved closer.  “Do you want me to stay here while you rest?”

Mao nodded, because for some reason being around Ritsu still made him feel…safe…and he settled himself under the covers.  Maybe he should have been warier, because…fuck, he’d almost _died,_ and he was holding hands with the person responsible for it.

There was something fundamentally wrong with his sense of self-preservation, apparently, if he actually felt _safe_ with a vampire in bed with him, but right then he couldn’t bring himself to care too much.

“Maa-kun,” Ritsu tugged on his sleeve and Mao looked over his shoulder.  “I love you.”

“I know, Ritchan,” Mao smiled at him and turned around again, trying not to react when Ritsu curled around him from behind.  He reached for Ritsu’s hand again anyway, letting their fingers tangle together.  “So.  Guess I’m stuck with a vampire, huh?”

“Maa-kun’s always been stuck with me,” Ritsu pointed out logically.  “But now you know why.”

“Yeah.  Guess I do,” Mao knew he still needed time to think and that things wouldn’t go back to normal right away…they couldn’t, really…but he was going to try his best not to take it out on Ritsu in the meantime. 

“Sleep,” Ritsu kissed the back of his neck, the same way he’d done since they were kids, but suddenly there was so much more meaning behind it. 

Yeah, Ritsu _could_ have done something to him before…so many times…but he didn’t, and Mao knew that he wouldn’t again as long as Mao didn’t leave him for months at a time. 

“I trust you, Ritchan,” he mumbled as his eyes closed.  He wasn’t expecting to fall asleep right away, not with all of the questions still swirling around in his mind, but he must have truly still been exhausted from the blood loss because sleep came remarkably easily. 

He knew Ritsu would still be there when he woke up.

He’d just have to talk to him then. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. For some reason it seems that every fandom I get into I have to write some sort of vampire-fic, and inspiration for this one was rather easy considering the source material. I’m intending this to be a chaptered fic as long as people are interested in reading more, though the rating will probably go up if that happens!
> 
> 2\. I hope you enjoyed this if you read it, and if you want to find me elsewhere, I’m on twitter at [_mikarashis](http://twitter.com/_mikarashis).


	2. Chapter 2

He woke up to Ritsu kissing his neck, and while there were no fangs involved this time, the action made him rather understandably nervous. 

“Ritsu?” he mumbled, hearing a grunt and a sigh in return.  “You okay?”

“I’m fine, Maa-kun,” Ritsu had apparently settled for just holding him again and Mao was grateful for that.  “How do you feel?”

“Better,” Mao decided, although he really wouldn’t be able to tell if the dizziness was gone until he sat up.  “I’ve got a lot of questions, though.”

“I’d expected that,” Ritsu replied softly, his lips pressed to Mao’s shoulder this time.  “I’ll answer whatever you want.  I owe you that much.”

“Okay,” Mao tried to figure out the best place to start, running through what Rei had already told him and what he needed more clarification on. 

Mostly, he thought, he just felt…lost.  He and Ritsu had always been inseparable since they were kids, and he’d thought for so many years that their shared experiences were unique and new for both of them, so finding out that Ritsu had been through all of this…fuck, God knew how many times already…made it feel less special somehow. 

He was just…a placeholder.  There were others before him, and there would be others after, and one day Ritsu probably wouldn’t even remember him anymore and that was far more depressing a thought than it should have been. 

Mao wasn’t the type to crave attention or want to make his mark to be eternally remembered, but he was almost surprised to note that there was a rather large part of him that wanted Ritsu, at least, to remember him. 

“Maa-kun?” Ritsu asked softly, nuzzling at his neck.  “Are you okay?”

“No,” Mao said truthfully, and he heard Ritsu sigh. “I’m sorry, Ritchan.”

“Don’t be,” Ritsu sounded sad and Mao turned around so they were facing each other, staring at his…well, regardless of anything else, Ritsu was still his friend.  That wasn’t going to change. 

“I don’t know where to start,” Mao admitted, trying and failing not to flinch when Ritsu raised a hand to gently stroke the back of his fingers down Mao’s cheek. 

“You’re still afraid of me,” Ritsu said quietly, drawing his hand away and sighing.  “Not that I can really blame you, considering…”

“Yeah,” Mao wanted to say that he wasn’t, that everything was still okay, but that would be a lie and he knew that Ritsu would call him out on it.  “So…what’s your true form?” he decided that was a safe enough place to start, and it wasn’t as if Ritsu could frighten him any more than he already had.

He hoped, anyway.

“It’s…” Ritsu sighed.  “I don’t think Maa-kun will feel any better if I show you,” he pulled back a little and Mao watched him cautiously.  “But if it’s what Maa-kun wants…”

And Mao tried not to react, he really did, but the air around Ritsu seemed to… _shift…_ somehow, and in place of the sleepy boy he’d known for years was a creature that barely looked human.  His teeth had lengthened into legitimate fangs, hanging down past his lower lip, and his eyes were now entirely red and glowing, just two brilliant orbs with no iris or pupil.  His skin was almost translucent, paler than Mao had ever seen it, and around his entire body was an aura of darkness so deep that Mao couldn’t even see through it. 

He looked like a monster, and Mao realized now just what he was dealing with…what he _had_ been dealing with for all these years. 

Knowing that _this_ was lurking inside of Ritsu for all that time…no, more than that, that this _was_ Ritsu…

“So now you know.”

Mao blinked and flinched back, because even Ritsu’s voice was different, low and echoing and almost a growl. 

“Okay,” he forced himself to stay calm, not shying away even though every cell in his body was telling him to get out of the room.  He reached out a hand before he could help himself, stopping when Ritsu bared his teeth.  “Okay,” he said again, realizing he probably sounded like he was speaking to a spooked animal. 

“You can, if you want,” Ritsu’s eyes seemed to be boring through him and Mao nodded, carefully laying his hand on Ritsu’s shoulder and feeling that it was still solid under his touch.  “If it’s Maa-kun, I don’t mind.”

“You never used to like me touching you,” Mao replied with a tiny smile, his fingers sliding over to rest against Ritsu’s neck.  His skin was ice-cold and felt almost waxy, just another thing that showed how inhuman he really was. 

“There was a reason for that,” Ritsu sighed and the air shifted again, leaving him looking as Mao had always known.  “If I get startled, there’s a chance I’ll turn into that as a defense mechanism,” he explained, and yeah, that would be a pretty good reason to try and avoid being touched. 

“So that’s how you really look?” Mao wasn’t moving his hand and he didn’t really know why, but the skin under his fingers was suddenly warm and he could feel a steady heartbeat under his touch.  “Wait, how do you even have a pulse?”

“Ah, I’ve still got human anatomy,” he shrugged.  “Guess I don’t really need a heart, but somewhere along the line we probably evolved to be able to copy people so nobody would know we weren’t actually human.”

“Huh,” Mao finally pulled back, studying Ritsu closely.  “So…do you have any other special abilities?”

He couldn’t even react before he was flat on his back and Ritsu was holding his wrists, staring down at him impassively.  “You mean, Anija lifting a grand piano all by himself didn’t clue you in?” he was smiling a little and Mao relaxed, knowing he was still safe. 

“Hey, you guys did a lot of weird things.  Though I guess they make sense now,” he had to admit, watching as Ritsu sat back and let his arms go.  “So…this thing that happened with me…Rei said it was called bonding?”

“I don’t know if it has a name,” Ritsu kind of flopped forward so he was lying on Mao’s chest, closing his eyes, and Mao’s arms came around him instinctively.  “But it’s just a feeling we get every so often when a human comes along and it’s how we keep going.”

“So when you said before, about fading away…”

“Mm,” Ritsu nodded.  “The way I’ve always thought of it is that if we have nobody to keep us…human, or close to it, the darkness inside will eventually take over and we’ll just…implode into nothing,” he murmured.  “But it’s never happened, because anytime it feels like I’m too exhausted to go on, I always feel the pull that tells me a human I need to connect with is close.  Maybe one day it won’t happen,” he didn’t look entirely concerned about that, but Mao thought that maybe for somebody who’d been…alive?  Existing?  As long as he had, the thought of death or the equivalent of it might not seem so daunting anymore. 

“So your relationship with these people, is it always…” he gestured and Ritsu shrugged. 

“Sometimes.  Obviously in years past if the person I bonded to was a man it wasn’t looked upon nearly so kindly, but there were times,” he admitted with a fond smile and Mao once again felt young and awkward and inadequate.  “I know Maa-kun doesn’t feel that way about me,” he said then, looking up at Mao. 

“I don’t,” Mao didn’t see the point in lying.  “But I’m still a little mad at you that you’d rather let yourself fall into what could be an endless sleep rather than tell me the truth,” he said quietly, getting a slow, sleepy blink in return. 

“I have no excuse for that.  I didn’t want Maa-kun to think differently of me.  Or to be afraid of me.  But I kind of ruined that,” he touched the bandages again and Mao felt rather proud of himself for not reacting this time. 

“How do you think I’d feel if I came home from University and you were just…” he stopped, breathing out slowly through his nose. 

“I didn’t think about that,” Ritsu said honestly, pushing himself up so that he and Mao were facing each other.  “I can be selfish sometimes.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.  I’ve been dealing with your strange whims for years,” Mao reached to brush Ritsu’s hair back, stroking his fingers through it.  Ritsu gave a tiny yawn, smiling fondly at Mao, and Mao thought just how…human he looked in that moment.  “Rei said that being around me makes you more human…that you can feed off of my life-force or something?”

“Mm, I suppose it could be called that,” Ritsu’s voice was almost a purr now.  “You’re the brightest human I’ve ever met.  Your aura,” Ritsu explained, his words coming out slurred and slow almost as if he was intoxicated.  “It hurts me sometimes because looking at Maa-kun is like looking at the sun,” he sighed and his mouth dropped open a little.  “But you make me feel _alive.”_

His eyes opened and he stared straight at Mao, and Mao felt his breath catch because for the first time he could see how _old_ Ritsu was, how many years he’d lived and how much he’d seen over his lifetime, but at the same time there was an almost child-like sense of wonder and innocence when he was looking at Mao and it made him feel _something_ he didn’t have a name for.  

The only thing he knew was that he’d never in his life felt that way before. 

Ritsu was so close and Mao _knew_ it was a bad idea, that he’d regret it, that he didn’t like guys so why did he even want to…

But then none of that mattered anymore because he was kissing Ritsu, hands tangled in his dark hair and his entire body feeling like it was on fire.  

“Maa-kun,” Ritsu pulled away with a gasp.  “No.  Stop.”

“Huh?” Mao blinked, feeling like he was waking up from a trance.  “What-“

“You don’t mean it,” Ritsu tucked his head under Mao’s chin and hugged him.  “It’s part of the bond…did Anija tell you about that?”

“Oh,” Mao realized a second later what had happened and blushed, because he hadn’t even hesitated.  “He talked about it a little, yeah.  Sorry,” he groaned, because it was probably an asshole move to kiss Ritsu when he knew how Ritsu felt about him.

“Don’t be sorry, Maa-kun.  But I promise I would never do anything you weren’t okay with,” he cuddled closer. 

Mao knew that, now, and le lay back and sighed, his arms holding Ritsu almost protectively.  “I don’t care that you’re a vampire,” he finally said, because even though knowing what Ritsu actually looked like would probably give him nightmares, there was a bigger part of him that realized that Ritsu, despite not telling him that, wasn’t trying to hide any of his personality and that was the most important thing.  “You’re still my best friend.”

“Mm, Maa-kun knows how to flatter me,” Ritsu chuckled.  “Wanna sleep more,” he decided then and Mao had to laugh at how predictable that was. 

“I thought Rei said you’d have more energy,” he teased, getting a shrug in return. 

“A little.  I just love sleeping,” Ritsu replied with complete honestly.  “And it’s better with you.”

“One day you’ll say that to somebody else,” Mao said the words before he could stop himself, the bitterness in his tone a little too harsh, and Ritsu looked up at him again. 

“No.  I think…” he looked like he was carrying the weight of the world in that moment and Mao knew without him saying anything that there wouldn’t be anybody else. 

“Ritsu, no,” he shook his head, because for as much as he wanted Ritsu to never forget him, he couldn’t fathom the idea of Ritsu choosing to…

“It’s my choice, Maa-kun,” Ritsu said firmly.  “And there won’t be anybody like you.  Not ever.”

Mao held onto him tighter without meaning to, and even though he knew he had no say in it, it still made him feel incredibly guilty.  “I’m sorry I can’t…be what you want me to be.”

“All I want is for you to be Maa-kun,” Ritsu promised, sitting up again and cupping Mao’s face in his hands.  “That you’re not abandoning me is enough.”

“Has that happened?” he asked softly, although he doubted Ritsu would mention it if it hadn’t. 

“At times,” the vampire shrugged.  “If I can, I try not to reveal myself, but if it happens to come out there’s a pretty good chance whoever I’ve bonded with will either run away or try to kill me.”

“Can you be killed?  I mean, the old stories about how to kill vampires, are any of them true?”

“Not particularly.  I don’t like sunlight but it’s not like it’ll turn me to dust or anything, and garlic is offensive but not deadly.  A stake through the heart wouldn’t do much either since I don’t actually need a heart,” he added.  “I guess it would probably be possible if I were caught in an explosion or something, but that would be a little extreme since I can heal pretty much anything else.”

“So what happens if somebody you’re bonded with rejects you?”

“I go to sleep,” Ritsu replied with a heavy sigh.  “And then, eventually, they’ll die and somebody else will come along.”

“That sounds like a very morbid life,” Mao had to comment, and Ritsu bared his teeth in a semblance of a grin. 

“I’m a vampire.  That’s pretty morbid all by itself.”

“Okay, you’ve got a point,” he conceded, letting his fingers slide through Ritsu’s hair again and pushing it back.  “Can I ask a personal question?”

“Anything,” Ritsu nodded, and Mao felt his face get hot because even though he’d been wondering this it almost seemed… _too_ personal.

“Okay.  So Rei kind of explained that when you bit me the feeling I got was, uh, because of the bond, but if you’re not really human, is your anatomy…I mean, uh, can you…”

“Get hard?” Rtisu asked, raising an eyebrow, and Mao nodded silently.  “Yes.  Don’t ask me how it works because I don’t know,” he added and Mao really didn’t _need_ to know specifics so he was fine with that. 

“So when you bit me…did you feel the same thing I did?”

“To an extent,” Ritsu agreed.  “For me the pleasure comes more from…”

“Sucking my blood?” Mao asked softly and Ritsu looked away, almost guilty.  “Hey,” Mao turned his face so they were looking at each other again.  “It’s okay.”

“I can still feel physical pleasure, especially if I’m close to a human I’ve bonded with,” he explained.  “I think it would be easy with you.”

He was doing that intense-staring thing again and even though Mao _knew_ the way he felt whenever Ritsu did that was because of the vampire-thing and not because he actually had _those_ feelings toward his friend, it didn’t change how his body reacted. 

“Ritsu, I…”

A knock on the bedroom door broke the moment and Mao was grateful because chances are he would have done something incredibly foolish again, but Ritsu growled and glared at the door.

“ _What,_ Anija?!”

“I know you’ve probably forgotten but Mao-kun lost a lot of blood and if he’s rested enough he should eat and drink something,” Rei sounded calm.  “Come down to the kitchen when you’re ready.”

“He’s right,” Ritsu eventually sighed, looking down at Mao.  “You should go.”

“Are you coming?” Mao blinked when Ritsu clambered off of him and flopped onto the bed, yawning. 

“No. Gonna sleep,” he replied, almost sounding like he was pouting and yeah, that was the Ritsu Mao was familiar with. 

“Are you sure you’re hundreds of years old?” Mao laughed, leaning down to press his lips to Ritsu’s forehead.  “Sleep, then, if you’re going to be grumpy about it.”

“Maa-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you gonna stay tonight?  I want you close,” he was looking at Mao through half-lidded eyes, his fingers clenched in the blanket like it was some sort of safety net. 

“I live next door,” Mao reminded him, but he inwardly thought that staying wouldn’t be a _bad_ idea since trying to explain the bandages around his neck to his family wasn’t going to be easy.  “But I’ll stay.”

“Mm,” Ritsu didn’t really say more than that and Mao figured that was his cue to leave, so he headed down the kitchen and saw a bottle of some sort of sports drink and a plate of what looked like cookies on the table.

“I’m no expert, but I’ve heard you need sweet things after giving blood,” Rei was standing in the shadows, cradling a glass of some sort of red liquid that Mao really hoped was tomato juice or something because he’d had about enough of drinking blood for one day. 

“Did Ritsu make those?” he looked at the cookies suspiciously and Rei chuckled. 

“He did, although I tried to make them appear a tad more…palatable…” he smiled.  “But eat, don’t mind me.”

“Okay,” Mao picked up one of the cookies carefully, because even though he _knew_ Ritsu’s food generally tasted good, now more than ever he was convinced there was some sort of black magic involved with making it.  Still, he couldn’t really be picky. 

“Did you get all of your answers?” Rei asked after a few seconds of Mao just munching on the cookie, and the younger man swallowed before responding. 

“For now,” he admitted.  “I’m sure I’ll have more questions, but I don’t think I can process anything else at the moment.”

“I could feel a great darkness from that room…he showed you what we really look like, didn’t he?” Rei looked worried now and Mao nodded. 

“Yeah.  That was…” he sighed.  “Well, at least I know, now.”

“With you around the chances that he’ll do that unconsciously are very rare,” Rei assured him, taking a seat on the other side of the table and draining his glass.  “It’s much harder for me, but I’m not leaving him here alone.”

“You…don’t have somebody you’re bonded to right now?” Mao had suspected as much but he thought it was polite to ask since Rei had brought it up. 

“Not for far too long.  There are people I feel a kinship with and being with them helps, but it’s not the same.  My children…” he sighed and Mao figured he meant the rest of UNDEAD by that.  “Well, I suppose it could be worse.”

“Both of you are talking like you want to die,” Mao muttered around the cookie, looking up to meet Rei’s eyes and seeing that he was still smiling. 

“Ritsu told you, did he?” he predictably ignored Mao’s statement about himself and focused on his brother again.  “You probably think he says that to everybody.”

“Well, I can’t exactly prove otherwise,” Mao pointed out, leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of the sports drink. 

“But I can.  He’s never been as taken with a human as he is with you,” Rei assured him, and while Mao supposed he _could_ have been lying, he had to admit that there would really be no reason for him to be.  “He’s never been afraid to reveal the truth to his partners before, despite what their reaction would be, but he would have rather gone to sleep for perhaps seventy years than risk you rejecting him.”

“Fuck,” Mao sighed and leaned his head back, his thoughts more confused than ever now. 

“If it helps, he’s not exactly a man,” Rei leaned forward, bracing one elbow on the table and grinning at Mao in a way that looked far too sinister with his fangs. 

“But he’s got,” Mao waved vaguely and Rei nodded.  

“I’m not saying you have to do anything for his sake,” Rei promised.  “But I’ve watched the two of you long enough to know that you do have feelings for him, whatever they may be.  I know you could make him happy, I just think that he could make you happy, too, if you’ll let him.”

“I love him,” Mao admitted, staring up at the ceiling.  “I just don’t think I’m _in_ love with him.”

“That’s something you have to come to terms with yourself,” Rei reached across the table and touched the back of his hand.  “But I think I’d be happy to have you as a brother-in-law,” he chuckled and Mao blushed, because that was going _too_ far.  “Don’t force yourself to make a decision, Mao-kun.  Just be assured that, as long as you’re alive, Ritsu’s feelings aren’t going to change.”

Mao didn’t really respond to that, taking another cookie and eating it mindlessly, but there was a part of him that thought he could do worse than having Rei as a brother-in-law, too. 

000

Ritsu was still asleep by the time he made it back to the room, a shaft of moonlight illuminating his body and making his skin almost glow white.

Mao sat down on the bed beside him, reaching to tuck Ritsu’s dark hair behind his ear and letting his fingers linger on Ritsu’s cheek. 

“Maa-kun,” he sighed, and Mao couldn’t tell if he was still asleep or if he just _knew,_ somehow, that Mao was there.  He smiled then, a pleased hum coming from the back of his throat, and snuggled into Mao’s warmth. 

“I’m gonna figure this out, Ritchan,” Mao promised, not sure if Ritsu could hear him but meaning it regardless.  “One way or another, I’m gonna figure this out.”

He had time, he reminded himself.  A lot of time. 

And, judging by how screwed up his feelings were at the moment, he was going to need it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Thank you to those who commented on the first chapter! I’m glad people are enjoying this and I have a lot of ideas for this fic so I hope you continue to do so. 
> 
> 2\. This is probably a Very Bad Idea but I've started a tumblr as a result of my descent into Idol Hell; it'll probably be mostly enstars and love live and if anybody wants to say hi there I'm at [mikarashis](http://mikarashis.tumblr.com/).


	3. Chapter 3

The biggest problem, he realized a few days later, was that he had nobody to talk to about this…or at least, nobody who _wasn’t_ an immortal vampire to talk to about it. 

He didn’t know what prompted him to make a call and set up a meeting at a local coffee place, but it was done before he could think about what a bad idea it was and by the time he was walking through the door it was too late to back out. 

“Mao-chan!”

Mao shook his head a little, scattering raindrops from the tips of his hair and shivering because for a so-called summer day it was certainly chilly and wet. 

He probably looked like a drowned rat, and he waved to the person he was meeting before ordering a cup of strong coffee (he was probably going to need it) and making his way over.

Narukami looked like he hadn’t even set foot in the rain, every hair in place and not a speck of mud on his knee-high boots, and Mao wondered not for the first time where all of his confidence came from.

Not that he shouldn’t be confident, of course, but Mao had a feeling that Narukami probably didn’t have the easiest time of it with his looks and his wardrobe choices so that he was completely unashamed of them was rather admirable. 

And no, they hadn’t been particularly close despite being in the same class, but Mao didn’t know who else to talk to about, well, _boys._

“Narukami,” he nodded and sat, taking his jacket off to drape over the back of the chair.  “I hope you’ve been well.”

“Well enough,” he shrugged one shoulder, crossing his legs and regarding Mao carefully.  “But I have the feeling this isn’t a social call, though I can’t fathom what advice you’d need from somebody like me.”

“Actually…” Mao stopped, because it felt too bold to just… _say_ it, and he took a sip of coffee to cover his hesitation.  “I didn’t know who else to call about…this…”

“Mm,” Narukami tapped his chin thoughtfully.  “That’s not very helpful, Mao-chan,” he murmured, although there was a mischievous glint in his eyes that told Mao he’d very likely figured it out.  “Or is this about Ritsu-chan?”

Mao nodded, seeing no reason to deny it.  “Yeah.  Things are…complicated.”

“Complicated because you’ve realized he’s in love with you complicated or complicated because he’s a vampire complicated?” Narukami said it so casually that Mao almost wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly, but once he realized he blinked rather rapidly for a few seconds without actually saying anything.  “Or both?”

“Let’s go with both,” Mao decided.  “How do you…”

“Well, let’s just say the one time I was helping him put on his costume for a live and when I looked in the mirror I saw a shadowy thing with glowing red eyes staring back at me, so that kind of clued me in,” he chuckled and sipped at his own drink.  “But out of respect for Ritsu-chan I didn’t mention anything to anybody else.”

“So I guess I picked the right person to come to,” Mao was starting to feel a little more relaxed. 

“I can’t give you much advice about vampires, but if you need advice about men I probably have some wisdom to impart,” he winked and sat back in his chair.  “So what seems to be the problem?”

“It’s complicated,” he sighed, wondering just how much he was allowed to say because he didn’t want to be giving all of Ritsu’s secrets away even if Narukami already knew the biggest one.  “But my feelings toward him have…changed…recently, and I guess I don’t know if they’re real or if they’re just because he’s got some vampire-bond with me. And that’s not even adding in the fact that I’m not gay,” he mumbled as Narukami’s smirk only widened. 

“You don’t have to be,” he replied simply.  “How you feel about Ritsu-chan is far more important than needing to label yourself as anything.”

“Yeah,” Mao admitted with a sigh.  “But it’s just…something I’ve never thought about, you know?  How did you know that you…”

“Liked guys?” Narukami finished for him and Mao nodded.  “It wasn’t a big revelation or anything, and to be quite honest I’m attracted to _people_ more than I am to anything else.  If you’re my type, that’s all that matters,” he said it like it was the simplest thing and Mao was starting to realize he’d seriously underestimated what sort of person Narukami was.  “Let me put it this way: if he was a girl, would you hesitate?”

“Probably not,” Mao admitted.  “It might be a little strange to go from being best friends to…something more…but we’d probably get over that.”

“So why should that be different just because he’s not?  Obviously you’re attracted to something about him.”

“You have a point,” Mao said, a little grudgingly, but he had to admit it was true.  “I guess I’d always imagined Ritsu would be part of my life, I just never expected it to be as more than friends.”

“Well, if you ask me, it’s been a long time coming,” Narukami commented idly.  “Back in high school, you remember when I asked if you were jealous of Anzu-chan or Ritsu-chan when they were getting close?”

“I thought that was just because you liked to meddle,” Mao shrugged and Narukami snickered. 

“I won’t deny that relationship gossip is one of my favorite pastimes, but I had a feeling all along you didn’t want anybody else to have that sort of relationship with Ritsu-chan.  You’re very good at putting up a front but that’s something I’m rather well-versed in myself,” he gave Mao a rather knowing smile.  “Regardless, it seems like the fact he’s a man is more daunting to you than the fact that he’s an immortal vampire.”

“Well, when you put it _that_ way,” Mao grunted, drinking more of his coffee.

“I’m not saying you have to change who you are, Mao-chan,” Narukami added.  “Just that being honest with yourself and with him will probably make both of you happier in the end.”

“And why would you care about that?” Mao asked, glancing across the table.

“Ritsu-chan’s my friend,” he replied.  “And the way he acted around you…that was special,” he said honestly.  “There are people in this world that you’ll meet and feel instantly connected to, and when that happens, I think it would be a shame to push them away,” there was something contemplative about his tone, like he was speaking from experience, and Mao felt just the tiniest bit of guilt that he’d written Narukami off as nothing more than flighty and narcissistic for all of those years.  

Mao realized he was just kind of staring and blinked hurriedly, clearing his throat and trying to figure out how to respond.

“Sorry.  That got a little too deep,” Narukami laughed brightly.  “But the point is, if you need advice on matters of the heart, I can give it.  If you need advice about… _other things_ …I’d think a centuries-old vampire would probably be a better teacher,” he gave Mao a knowing look that had Mao blushing and stammering for no reason. 

Except, of course, that the implications were obvious and he wouldn’t have reacted at _all_ if his immediate thought hadn’t been about Ritsu…

Yeah.  _Definitely_ not gonna go there. 

Narukami was still looking far too smug so Mao turned the topic around to what he’d been up to lately, something he of course was more than willing to talk about, and by the time they parted (his former classmate offering to walk him to the train because ‘really, Mao-chan, it’s raining and you didn’t think to bring an umbrella?  _Such_ an irresponsible boy’), Narukami…Arashi?  Maybe Mao didn’t have to be so impersonal with him anymore…telling him to ‘not be a stranger and keep me updated!’ he couldn’t say he was feeling any _better,_ but at least he had a different perspective on things now. 

Whether it would be a useful one remained to be seen. 

000

The soft strains of a melancholy piano melody greeted him when he went back to the Sakuma house, his feet leading him to a large room with a grand piano in the center of it.  It was dark except for a small reading light set above the music rack, although there was no music currently on it, but even that was barely enough to see the keys by. 

Maybe vampires had night vision, Mao thought, which made a lot of sense, but Ritsu didn’t seem bothered and in fact his eyes were closed as he played, his entire body moving with the music as the phrases swelled and then ebbed away. 

It was beautiful, watching him play, because there was nothing sleepy or indifferent about him at all.  There was a passion and a respect for the notes he pressed evident in every line of his body, fingers flying over the keys with perfect precision and timing.  

Mao barely noticed when the song was over because he was so engrossed in just staring at Ritsu, but the last notes dying in the air brought Mao back to reality and he shuffled his feet a little to let Ritsu know he was there. 

“There was always music,” his eyes didn’t open as he spoke.  “Always.  Music is nearly as old as time itself, and no matter where we went, there was music.  Sometimes playing was the only thing that kept me sane.  When the piano was invented…the first time I touched one, I _knew,”_ he sighed and finally turned back to Mao. 

“What was that?” Mao moved closer, padding across the floor. 

“A nocturne.  Chopin,” Ritsu replied with a tiny smile, and Mao thought how fitting it was that Ritsu would gravitate to a night song.  “How was your meeting with Natchan?”

“How did you…” Mao stopped, a little worried because could Ritsu read his _mind_ now or something? 

“He called me after you reached out to him to see if it had anything to do with my…condition,” Ritsu smiled, showing his fangs.  “I assume he didn’t want to say anything if you didn’t know already.”

“Oh,” Mao felt a little silly for assuming the worst.  “It was good.  He’s…not at all what I thought.”

Ritsu gave a low chuckle at that and turned around.  “Natchan’s far more than meets the eye.  As are most of us,” he sat cross-legged on the piano bench.  “I know this is something you have to figure out on your own so I won’t interfere,” he added, and Mao was grateful for that. 

“Yeah, it’s…I’m trying,” he promised, taking a few steps closer. 

“I want to…do a little experiment.  If you’ll let me,” Ritsu sounded a little hesitant but Mao found himself nodding instinctively.

“Of course.  I trust you,” he promised, and Ritsu stood up and reached to take his hands. 

“Come here,” Ritsu led him over to a sofa, shrouded in darkness, and directed him to lie down.  “Now.  Can you see anything?”

“Not really,” Mao was confused but he still trusted Ritsu, so he forced himself to relax. 

“Good.  The bond won’t be as strong if you’re not looking at me,” Ritsu’s hand trailed through his hair and down his chest, resting over his heart.  “It’s not perfect, of course, but whatever you feel for me now is probably the closest to what’s true.”

“Oh,” Mao thought that it made sense, although he still wasn’t sure how it would help.  “Ritchan, I don’t…”

“Shh,” Ritsu murmured, and suddenly Mao felt a weight on top of him.  Ritsu’s hands slid back up into his hair, stroking gently.  “Did you get caught in the rain?”

“Mm, didn’t think to take an umbrella,” Mao replied, hearing Ritsu laugh softly.  He could still hear it falling outside the window, and between that and Ritsu petting him he almost felt like he could fall asleep. 

“Maa-kun,” Ritsu whispered.  “This is all I want from you.”

“I know,” Mao sighed, finally opening his eyes although he really couldn’t see anything.  “But you deserve so much more.”

Ritsu kissed his forehead and Mao wrapped his arms around the other man’s waist, holding him tightly.  “I deserve whatever you want to give me.”

They were silent after that, breathing nearly in sync, and it struck Mao that he’d _never_ find anybody that knew him as well as Ritsu did.  Not just because of their bond, but because of how long Ritsu had been in his life and how much Mao had shared with him over the years. 

Thinking about it like that, it was easy to imagine things going farther, but he still wasn’t sure…

“Ritchan?”

“Mm?”

“Kiss me,” he murmured, seeing a flash of red that was probably Ritsu’s eyes before Ritsu’s hands were cupping his face and his lips were pressed lightly to Mao’s. 

Mao kissed back instinctively, his hands sliding down Ritsu’s back to grip his waist.  Ritsu pulled back far too quickly for his liking, nudging Mao’s chin up with his nose so he could kiss his neck instead. 

“Okay?” he asked softly, letting his head rest on Mao’s shoulder now. 

“Yeah,” Mao let out a shaky breath.  “That was…nice.”

“I suppose I should take that as praise,” Ritsu shifted a bit and Mao wondered where he was going before he was kissing Mao again, with much more purpose than before. 

Mao let out a tiny, involuntary groan because he hadn’t been expecting it, but something about Ritsu’s mouth was strangely intoxicating and he found himself craving more contact. 

Though, if Ritsu could be believed and this wasn’t the bond, then that meant…

They broke apart with a gasp, Ritsu’s eyes gleaming faintly in the darkness as Mao lay there panting.  “I know this probably doesn’t sound that significant given how many centuries I’ve been alive, but I’ve been waiting to do that for a very long time,” he whispered. 

“I’m probably horrible at it,” Mao replied with a rather self-deprecating laugh.  “I don’t have much experience.  I mean, compared to you…”

“I’m not going to judge you for that Maa-kun,” Ritsu promised.  “Though I’m quite sure your body knows what it’s doing,” he wiggled his hips a little and Mao blushed, raising his hands to cover his face.

Yeah, it was dark, but Ritsu could probably see him anyway. 

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about,” Ritsu assured him.  “I want to make you feel good.”

“I’m not sure I’m ready for that,” Mao didn’t uncover his eyes yet.  “But I…I know you would.”

“It’s not as if I’m in any rush,” Ritsu reminded him, sitting up and moving away.  “I feel like I’ve spent hundreds of years waiting for you.  I can wait a little longer.”

Mao could feel the sofa move as he got up and started to walk away, but for some reason he didn’t want Ritsu to leave yet. “Ritchan, wait.”

“Yes?”

“You don’t have to go,” he mumbled, but Ritsu didn’t seem to need any more convincing since he flopped on top of Mao again.  Mao hugged him tightly, fingers clenched in the back of Ritsu’s shirt. 

“Maa-kun, are you okay?” Ritsu asked softly, nuzzling his nose against Mao’s rather affectionately. 

“Yeah,” Mao took a shuddery breath.  “I’m good.”

“Good,” he kissed Mao’s lips lightly, just once before he pillowed his head on the young man’s shoulder and yawned.  “Sleep?”

“If you want to sleep, I’ll stay,” Mao promised.  Ritsu yawned again and snuggled as close as he could, but before he could do anything else the curtains were yanked back. 

Evening sunlight flooded the room (apparently the rain had finally stopped) and Mao blinked at the sudden brightness, although his reaction was nothing compared to the literal hiss that Ritsu emitted. 

“Calm down, you’ll scare the boy,” Rei looked rather unimpressed, Ritsu growling and baring his teeth when he turned to look at his brother, but Mao was too busy trying not to laugh to be scared. 

“You _hissed!”_ he ruffled Ritsu’s hair and ignored the glare the vampire gave him.

“ _Anyway,”_ he looked back toward Rei.  “What did you bother us for?”

“Kaoru-kun called and asked if I wanted to go out tonight, so I thought I would invite the two of you as well.  It’s not good to stay cooped up all day, Ritsu, and you’ve barely left the house for months,” he gave the younger vampire a rather disapproving stare. 

“I’m only eighteen, though,” Mao had a feeling that Kaoru’s choice of venue for ‘going out’ probably wouldn’t cater to anybody underage, but Rei waved a hand dismissively. 

“He has ‘connections’, so he tells me, but I’m sure you don’t have to worry,” Rei’s expression became warmer when he looked at Mao.  “You don’t have to come, of course, since a night out with Kaoru-kun usually amounts to me sitting there for two hours while he tries and fails to proposition women, letting him drink away his sorrows, and then bringing him back here to sleep it off.”

“No, it’ll be good to get out,” Mao agreed.  “I’ll just go home and change.”

Or, he would, as soon as Ritsu got off of him, and right now he didn’t seem inclined to move. 

“Up, you need to change, too,” Rei said briskly, although Mao noticed that he didn’t touch Ritsu in any way. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Ritsu sighed and gave Mao a final quick kiss before standing, leveling another rather nasty look at his brother before stalking out of the room. 

“Mao-kun,” Rei looked worried now.  “Is he…”

“Oh!” Mao sat up, shaking his head.  “No, he’d never…I wanted him to kiss me,” he admitted softly. 

“Good.  I trust him, with you especially, but sometimes when the bond takes over he can be impulsive,” he sat beside Mao and leaned forward so that his elbows were resting on his knees.  “I’m glad Kaoru-kun called.  I could use the energy boost,” Rei’s eyes flashed a little in the setting sunlight and Mao glanced at him curiously. 

“Well, since the chances of him actually going home with a woman are rather slim, if he stays the night I can recharge a little by being near him,” he smiled.  “It’s not as efficient as when Ritsu is near you, of course, because of the bond, but even a few hours at a time helps.”

“But he’s not…” Mao asked, Rei letting out a bark of laughter. 

“No.  There are times I’ve wondered, but no, Kaoru-kun would need to do a lot of soul-searching before he could ever consider himself something other than painfully straight,” he bared his teeth in a grin. 

“I mean, that’s how I saw myself until a couple of days ago,” Mao reached to lay a hand on Rei’s knee and then, remembering what Ritsu had told him about not wanting to be touched, hesitated until Rei gave him a tiny nod.  “People change.  I still don’t know _what_ I am, exactly, but everything with Ritsu has felt… _right,_ I guess, so I don’t regret it.”

“I’m glad,” Rei patted Mao’s hand and Mao realized how cold he was, even compared to Ritsu.  “I hate to ask this of you, but if anything ever happens to me…can I trust you to take care of him?”

“Nothing’s going to happen,” Mao said firmly, although to be quite honest everything Rei had told him was rather ominous.  “I mean, of course I will, but nothing’s going to happen.”

“Ah, to be young and full of confidence,” Rei didn’t sound like he was mocking Mao, at least, but it was fairly obvious he didn’t feel the same way.  “There’s nobody I’d trust him with more than you, though.  And if this is going to be his last…well, whether I go sooner or later is of little consequence.  I don’t think I could bear to see him…” Rei sighed.  “Whereas he probably wouldn’t miss me at all.”

“Of course he would,” Mao snorted.  “He loves you.  He’s not good at admitting it, but he does,” he knew that for a fact, even if Ritsu would endlessly deny it. 

“Maybe,” Rei suddenly smiled, though it was painfully forced.  “But here I am talking about doom and gloom and you don’t need to hear that.  You have so much life left to enjoy, Mao-kun.”

Mao didn’t know how to respond to that, because he couldn’t really say the same to Rei, but if he had to…interfere a little tonight to make sure that Kaoru ended up going home with Rei instead of some girl, he promised himself that he would. 

“Pay no heed to the ramblings of an old man,” Rei chuckled and shook his head.  “Kaoru-kun’s schedule is usually pretty flexible but if you’re back here in an hour or so he probably won’t have arrived yet.”

“Okay,” Mao nodded and stood up, giving Rei a last look before leaving the room. 

He was far too pale, leaning against the back of the couch as if even staying upright was stealing what little energy he seemed to have. 

“He’s getting worse.”

“Fuck!” Mao jumped because he hadn’t even _heard_ Ritsu come up behind him.  He looked to be in the process of getting dressed, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging loosely off of his shoulders. 

“Anija,” he clarified, as if Mao hadn’t figured that out.  “I’ve never seen him this weak.”

“He thinks you don’t care,” Mao gave Ritsu a pointed look and the vampire half-smiled at him, not really replying. 

“I’ll keep an eye on him until you get back,” was all Ritsu said, starting to do up his shirt while he entered the room, and Mao figured that was all the answer he was ever going to get. 

He’d never understand the relationship they had, he decided as he walked out the front door and headed back to his house, but then he’d never have hundreds of years to spend with his sister so maybe he didn’t really need to. 

Ritsu cared, though.

That was one thing he was sure of. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Thank you to those who are reading/leaving kudos/commenting/etc.! I'm glad people are still enjoying the fic and I love getting feedback :)
> 
> 2\. If I have anything in common with Ritsu (besides sleeping too much) it's that I've trained in classical piano for...20+ years...so if that part of the chapter got a little more in-depth, that's probably why. But if anybody wants to listen to the song Ritsu was playing it's [this one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDqAOUf8jrA).


	4. Chapter 4

He learned two things that night.

The first was that vampires couldn’t get drunk, something he might have been jealous about if he had any love for alcohol at all (he’d had a drink to be polite and fit in but with how damn confusing his emotions were the last thing he wanted was to not be in complete control of himself), but seeing Ritsu shoot back drinks without one hint of a repercussion was still pretty impressive. 

The second was that either Kaoru was ridiculously bad at picking up girls to the point that it was embarrassing, or he was doing it on purpose to make sure he _did_ end up going home with Rei. 

It was subtle, but the more Mao watched him, the more he realized he wouldn’t have to intervene and he was beginning to suspect that Kaoru wasn’t nearly as drunk as he was pretending to be, either. 

He did come home with them, as it turned out, and Mao hadn’t really planned on staying over again but he didn’t want to sneak home in the middle of the night and Ritsu, well, he didn’t seem inclined to let go of Mao so it was probably easier for him to stay. 

000

The house was quiet when he woke up the next morning save for Ritsu snoring softly as he lay propped on Mao’s chest. 

Mao reached for his phone on the nightstand, blinking when he looked at the time and realized it was almost noon, and he thought it might not be a bad idea to see if Kaoru was still around.

He hadn’t spoken to him much through high school, but if his suspicions were correct, he’d at least be somebody else Mao could talk to about his current…situation. 

Ritsu didn’t move when Mao slid out from under him, clinging to Mao’s pillow and mumbling nonsense as he dozed. Mao stopped to stroke his fingers through Ritsu’s hair and smile at him affectionately before slipping out of the room, and without him really knowing why he found his feet leading him to the guest room he’d stayed in the first night. 

He knew Rei slept in a coffin, after all, so he doubted Kaoru would be sleeping there with him. 

The door to the guest room was half-ajar and he pushed it open slowly, peering around the corner while his bangs flopped into his face.  He huffed in annoyance and tried to push them back, eyes scanning the room.

“Are you spying on us?”

“Hakaze-sen…Kaoru,” he corrected himself, straightening up and trying not to look so suspicious.  “I was wondering if you were still here.”

“Of course I am,” Kaoru looked a little offended, his arm tightening around Rei’s shoulders where he was leaning against the headboard, and Mao noticed that Rei’s cheeks at least had some color to them now.  “I should have come sooner.”

“I have a feeling both of them are pretty bad about asking for help,” Mao didn’t even have to question now whether or not Kaoru _knew,_ because it was obvious that he did. 

“He should be okay now, and I don’t really feel like going home,” Kaoru looked displeased at the thought.  “So we can talk in the kitchen.  Over coffee.  Which I need,” he clarified, settling Rei carefully on the bed before sliding out.  “So, you and Sakuma-san’s little brother, huh?” he was smirking in a rather knowing way when he passed Mao and Mao tried and failed not to blush at the obvious innuendo.  “Hey, I don’t judge.  Not my thing, of course, but whatever floats your boat, man.”

“We’re not…” Mao sighed.  “There.  Yet.”

“ ‘Yet’, huh?” Kaoru was still grinning.  “Meaning you’ll get there one day?” he strolled into the kitchen and dug out the coffee maker like it was habit, something that spoke to how often he probably stayed over. 

“I don’t know,” Mao shrugged, sitting down on a stool by the counter and watching Kaoru work.  “I guess it’s not something I’ve thought much about before now, you know?”

“I mean, you could do worse,” Kaoru replied.  “Sakuma-san’s little brother’s a weirdo, but he’s pretty hot.”

“Uh…” Mao didn’t know what to say to that, even though yeah, Ritsu certainly wasn’t…unattractive, he supposed. 

“And shit, a guy that’s lived for centuries?  Bet he knows a thing or two about being a good lover,” he added casually and Mao wondered why he’d even _wanted_ to talk to Kaoru in the first place if this was how it was going to turn out.

Yes, Arashi had teased him about the same thing, but Mao knew his intentions were good, whereas Kaoru…well, he just didn’t know him well enough to say one way or the other. 

“Look, if you’re gonna get it on with him, you’ve got to think about it at _some_ point,” he didn’t look like he was making fun of Mao, but the younger man was still wary.  “Hell, if I wasn’t just into girls, I’d probably ask Sakuma-san for a demonstration to see if he could give me any tips,” he laughed. 

“I don’t know,” Mao sighed, staring down at the countertop.  “I’m just a little overwhelmed, I guess.”

“Yeah, I get that, man,” Kaoru nodded.  “When Sakuma-san told the rest of us about the whole vampire thing I didn’t know what to think, but once I heard that he just  needed one of us to hang around for a while for him to feel better I was cool with that.  I guess it’s not quite that simple with his brother, huh?” Kaoru set a cup in front of Mao and he nodded in thanks. 

“I mean, it is, but I guess I feel…guilty…for not giving him more?  And there’s a part of me that…” he shook his head. 

“You want it, right?” Kaoru gave him a knowing smile.  “Yeah, I dunno if it’s just because vampires have some sort of magic sex appeal, but I get it,” he ran a hand through his long hair and stretched his shoulders out a bit.  “I never would, but if you want to, I say go for it.”

“That still doesn’t make me gay,” Mao wasn’t sure why he was still fixating on that, but there was a part of him that almost felt _wrong_ for how much he’d enjoyed kissing Ritsu, for how easily he could imagine them going farther. 

And, more than that, for how much he _wanted_ them to go farther. 

“Maybe not, but…look, man, you can always just say you’re fucking a vampire,” he laughed and Mao groaned and dropped his head into his hands because honestly, this was exactly how he’d expected a conversation with Kaoru to go and it _wasn’t helping._

“Who’s doing what now?”

“Rei?” Mao looked toward the kitchen door.  “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he admitted, and he certainly looked it.  “You don’t have to stay, Kaoru-kun.”

“Hey, hanging out with vampires is better than going home,” he replied, picking up his own cup of coffee.  “And I was helping the kid out.”

“The look on his face would say otherwise,” Rei gave Mao a kind smile and Mao knew he was still probably blushing.  “But I have no desire to hear about my brother’s sex life.  And I wouldn’t think it would interest you,” he looked at Kaoru.

“It doesn’t,” Kaoru gave a nonchalant shrug.  “But I was just saying if he thinks of your bro as a vampire instead of a guy it might make things easier.”

“Mm, I’ve never had that dilemma,” Rei admitted, going to lean against the counter beside Kaoru.  “We don’t get a choice when it comes to who we bond with, after all, so our attraction remains the same regardless,” he explained.  “I’ve never thought much about my own sexuality because of that.”

“But do you have a preference?” Kaoru raised an eyebrow slightly and turned to Rei, who chuckled and bared his fangs. 

“Why, Kaoru-kun, there’s a reason I chose to attend a school for only _male_ idols,” his voice was low and Kaoru coughed and took a sip of coffee, although Mao was starting to agree with his earlier ‘magic vampire sex appeal’ statement because it seemed like Kaoru wasn’t nearly as unaffected as he was pretending to be.  “Regardless, it seems like a trivial thing to worry about in the grand scheme of things.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Mao knew it was, really, but it wasn’t that simple for him. 

“Go wake my brother up,” Rei was still smiling.  “We’ll do something for breakfast, but I’m sure he’ll be much kinder about it if it’s you that disturbs his sleep compared to me.”

He had a point, and Mao was getting a feeling that he wanted to be alone with Kaoru, so he picked up his coffee and headed back to Ritsu’s room. 

“Hey, Ritchan, your brother says to get up and come down for breakfast- ” he stopped inside the doorway, his hands tightening on the coffee mug because Ritsu was awake…and, apparently, in the middle of changing. 

And yeah, Mao had seen him in various stages of undress before, since half the time he was actually getting him into his school uniform on mornings when Ritsu was too sleepy to do it himself, but things were…different now. 

“Hmm?” Ritsu looked up, yawning and stretching before he stood up from the bed.  He was wearing pants, at least, but that was it and Mao was trying to stop himself from staring because Ritsu was surprisingly toned for a guy that liked to put in as little effort as possible on a daily basis. 

He _had_ been able to hold Mao down and pin him to the bed pretty easily, though, so he was a lot stronger than he looked. 

“Uh.  Breakfast?” Mao asked, his voice almost a squeak. 

“You look like you’re interested in sampling something else, Maa-kun,” he was teasing, but the invitation was there and Mao stuck his nose into his coffee cup to stall for time.  Ritsu sighed, pulling a t-shirt out of a drawer, and Mao took a step forward because he needed to stop being a coward about this. 

“Wait, I…” he set the cup carefully down on the bedside table and walked around the bed itself, taking a deep breath before reaching to set his hands on Ritsu’s waist.  “I’m sorry I’m being weird about this.”

“It’s understandable,” Ritsu was giving him that _look_ again, the one where it seemed like he was seeing something both beautiful and painful at the same time.  “I lost any shame I might have felt over being naked with a human a long time ago, but I need to remember you’re completely new to this.”

“You’re so…” Mao didn’t even know what he was saying, his hands seemingly moving of their own accord as they slid up Ritsu’s back.  The vampire’s skin was cool and silky-smooth under his fingertips, and Ritsu let out a pleased hum at the touch.  “Do you really still like doing this after hundreds of years?” he wasn’t sure why he asked the question, but it seemed like even sex could get boring after doing it over and over again. 

“Sometimes it feels like going through the motions,” Ritsu admitted.  “But every person’s different, and part of…well, the more pleasure my partner is feeling, the better it is for me, so that was always enough incentive to participate if they were willing.”

“You still make it sound like a chore,” Mao grimaced. 

“With you it wouldn’t be,” Ritsu sounded completely sure of that.  He finally wrapped his own arms around Mao’s waist and leaned in closer, pressing his lips to Mao’s neck.  “I just want to make you feel good, Maa-kun.”

Mao shivered at the touch, feeling himself start to react just by being this close to Ritsu.  He was convinced by now that it _would_ be good, but there was still…

Ritsu was still mouthing at his neck, his hands sliding under the hem of Mao’s t-shirt, the touch cool against his heated skin.  “I want you so badly.”

“Fuck, Ritchan,” he groaned, sounding far too needy to his own ears. 

“Just tell me what you want,” Ritsu murmured.  “Anything.”

Mao closed his eyes, wondering why he was still so hesitant to take that next step.  He _wanted_ it, more than he could have ever imagined, but he couldn’t…

“Okay,” Ritsu pulled out of his grasp and stepped away, something sad in his red eyes. 

“Tonight,” Mao said the words before he could stop himself, but if he didn’t give himself a deadline he’d keep finding excuses.  “I want to.  Tonight.  But not…” he didn’t know how to word it and just kind of stood there awkwardly.

“I promise that we’ll go as slow as you want.  If you want to just…touch…that’s fine with me,” Ritsu took his hand, lacing their fingers, and Mao looked at him and knew that he really couldn’t hope to find a better person than Ritsu to have his first time with. 

“Yeah.  Let’s start with that,” he smiled a little and squeezed Ritsu’s hand.  “Thanks for being patient with me.”

“Like I said, what’s a few hours compared to hundreds of years?” Ritsu gently cupped his cheek and leaned in to kiss him.  “I’d wait forever for you, Maa-kun.”

“You won’t have to,” Mao whispered against his lips, suddenly feeling remarkably calm. 

It was Ritsu, after all.  He didn’t need to be scared. 

“Maa-kun,” he murmured softly.  “Have you ever been with a girl?”

“You know I haven’t,” Mao couldn’t seem to stop his hands from moving, seeking out more of Ritsu’s skin. 

“I know you hadn’t before going away,” Ritsu corrected him, his voice a breathy sigh.  “But you had a few months…”

“No,” Mao shook his head.  “There was one time…we kissed, but it didn’t feel right going farther.”

“It’s okay if you want to,” Ritsu sounded like just saying the words pained him.  “You know you’re not obligated to do anything with me just because of the bond.”

“I _want_ to, Ritchan,” he kissed him again as if to prove his words. 

“You say that, but then you keep pulling away,” Ritsu pointed out, and Mao couldn’t even say anything against that.  “Don’t do this just for me.”

“Everybody keeps telling me to think of you as a vampire and not as a…a guy, but for some reason…” he huffed in annoyance, burying his face against Ritsu’s neck and just breathing him in. 

“I have an idea,” Ritsu whispered, Mao nodding because at this point he’d try _anything._ “Yesterday, when we were in the dark, that seemed to help,” his voice was low and soothing, almost hypnotic, and Mao felt himself relaxing.  “So to start with, how about you just let me…give you pleasure.  Maybe it would be easier if you were just feeling without seeing anything.”

“Maybe,” Mao still wasn’t sure, but he was willing to go along with it because it wouldn’t hurt to try, he supposed.  “But what about you?”

“We still need to talk about that.  My anatomy,” Ritsu clarified with a soft chuckle.  “But it’s not quite the same.  Being with you makes me human enough that I can imitate arousal, but that’s about it,” he explained.  Mao blinked, trying to figure out how that worked, and he was more than a little confused. 

“Then…I mean…” he frowned.  “How could we… _do_ anything?”

“Remember that I can feed off of your life force, Maa-kun,” Ritsu’s fangs scraped the line of his neck and Mao shivered, clutching at him.  “Have you ever heard of _la petite mort?”_

“Huh?”

“It means ‘the little death’, and is sometimes used to refer to, ah, the feeling that is achieved after reaching orgasm,” he sounded wryly amused now although Mao was still completely lost.  “Basically, the belief was that people released so much energy at the moment of climax that a part of them ‘died’ temporarily, and that energy…” he hummed.  “That’s what I crave.”

“So you…you can’t…”

“No,” Ritsu sounded a little disappointed. “I can’t…by myself.  My body is too cold to have any sort of reproductive capabilities.”

And Mao supposed that made sense, even though he hadn’t thought of it like that before.  “So you’re telling me that the only way you can get off is to…feed off of the energy from a person doing it?” he kissed Ritsu’s neck, wrapping him up even tighter in his arms.  

“Yes,” Ritsu replied simply, and Mao suddenly realized this might not be as hard as he’d originally thought.  Ritsu definitely wasn’t human, but instead of making him more afraid, it really _did_ help to think of it that way.  “So making sure you’re feeling pleasure is inherently more important than having any attention paid to me.  It feels good, certainly, but that’s about it.”

“Okay,” Mao didn’t hesitate now.  “Then…let’s try that.  Tonight.  I want you to feel good, too,” he shifted so he could kiss Ritsu properly again. 

“I will.  If you are, then I will,” Ritsu assured him.  “Have I scared you off yet?” he chuckled and Mao just stared at him for a while, sliding his fingers through Ritsu’s hair and leaning to kiss his forehead.  “Is that a no?”

“No,” Mao grinned.  “Definitely not.  I feel better, if anything.  I told you before, I don’t care that you’re not human.  You’re still my Ritchan.”

“I am,” Ritsu smiled fondly at him.  “But we should probably get downstairs before Anija decides to see why we’re taking so long,” he let go of Mao reluctantly and Mao moved back far enough for him to be able to pull his shirt on. 

Mao went to grab his coffee, finding that it was still lukewarm and taking a sip before he followed Ritsu down to the kitchen.  

“Took you boys a while,” Kaoru gave them a look that was far too knowing, and when his eyes strayed to Mao’s neck the younger man clapped his hand there even though he knew it was too late to hide anything. 

Rei was seated at the counter now, chin propped up on one hand, and he smiled at both of them. 

“Hey,” Ritsu took a hesitant step forward, reaching to barely brush his fingertips over Rei’s shoulder.  “You, uh, doing okay?”

“Thanks to Kaoru-kun, yes,” Rei nodded, and Mao saw the almost imperceptible flash of relief across Ritsu’s features before his expression turned indifferent again.  

“Good, I guess,” he muttered, turning around and crossing his arms, but Mao knew he really wasn’t fooling anybody at this point. 

“They need each other,” Kaoru said quietly, Mao looking up at him in surprise because he’d been expecting another innuendo-filled comment. 

“They need us, too,” he replied, grabbing the coffee pot. 

Kaoru just smiled, nodding his head a little, and Mao thought that _maybe_ the other man wasn’t so bad after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I’ve never written Kaoru before and I’m still not really sure how to write him but it was…interesting to do it in this chapter! 
> 
> 2\. I’m…thinking the rating’s probably going to go up next chapter if all goes as planned…so just a heads up for that…
> 
> 3\. Thank you again to all those who have encouraged me by leaving such lovely comments!


	5. Chapter 5

“Can you see anything?”

“No,” Mao shook his head, trying to calm himself down because his heart was pounding and he was breathing faster than normal. 

He’d been on-edge all day, and even though he’d gone home after lunch to spend some time with his family, he’d been distracted to the point that his sister had point-blank asked if he was ‘thinking about somebody _special’._

His reaction to that had been a lot of stammering and a denial so weak it wasn’t fooling anybody, but at least he hadn’t said anything to hint at _who_ he was thinking about. 

At least, he really hoped he hadn’t. 

Still, he’d made himself hang around until it was dark out before heading back to the Sakuma place, and now he was lying on Ritsu’s bed and somehow more anxious than ever. 

“I can taste your fear, Maa-kun,” Ritsu’s lips brushed his forehead.  “You know you can’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying,” he replied, trying to sound as assured as he could. 

“Maa-kun should remember what happens when he lies to me,” Ritsu’s voice had dropped into a growl now and Mao felt like his cheeks were burning because suddenly that whole…punishment thing that Ritsu liked to joke about didn’t seem nearly so innocent.  

“I’m…” Mao shivered, reaching to hug Ritsu and pulling him closer. 

“Shh,” Ritsu nuzzled his nose into Mao’s hair and breathed out slowly.  “Relax for me,” his voice was low and soothing and Mao felt himself reacting to it. 

He felt…strange, somehow, though it wasn’t a _bad_ feeling.  “Ritsu, what did you…”

“We’re bonded, Maa-kun,” Ritsu said gently.  “You’re keeping me alive, and in return I’m able to…make you feel a bit of what I do.  And I know you’re scared,” he said it with his normal bluntness, even though it was true and Mao couldn’t dispute it.  “But you have all the power here.  If you want to stop, we’ll stop, okay?”

“I know,” Mao just _breathed_ a few times, letting himself sink into the mattress.  “Okay,” his fingers were clenched in the blanket and he felt Ritsu’s hand settle over his own. 

“Let me take care of you,” he urged.  Mao nodded, knowing Ritsu could see him even in the dark, and he heard the vampire give a low hum in response.  He felt Ritsu’s fingers sliding up under his shirt and sat up a little, reaching to help get the shirt off. 

Ritsu’s hands were on his skin instantly and Mao shivered because the vampire was still _cold._

“Sorry.  Can’t help it,” Ritsu didn’t sound especially sorry as his fingers kept exploring, sliding down Mao’s chest and over his stomach.  Mao reached to settle his own hands on Ritsu’s hips, needing to ground himself somehow.  “Still okay?”

“Yeah,” he swallowed, letting his thumbs skim over Ritsu’s hipbones.  “Ritchan?”

“Hmm?” Ritsu asked vaguely, his hands moving steadily and soothingly.  “What is it?”

“Did you…” Mao sighed, not even sure if he wanted to ask this.  “Sorry.  You can keep going.”

“No, what’s wrong?” Ritsu kissed his shoulder, leaving his mouth pressed to Mao’s skin.  “Tell me.”

“Does bonding with somebody automatically make you fall in love with them, or…” he shook his head. 

“Or are you an exception?” Ritsu sounded amused.  “No, bonding with somebody is necessary for us to keep surviving, but our feelings toward them aren’t affected by it.  Of course it’s easier if we’re attracted to them, but that’s not always the case,” he kissed down Mao’s chest and Mao shivered again, although not from the cold this time because unlike the rest of his body Ritsu’s mouth was searing hot. 

“Why?” Mao asked softly.  “I’m just…”

“You’re my Maa-kun,” Ritsu’s tongue dragged slowly over one of his nipples and Mao let out a squeak he’d probably deny forever.  “I love you because you’re _you,_ and because you’ve never given up on me or turned me away, no matter how difficult I’m being.”

“Yeah, well, that wasn’t always easy,” Mao admitted breathily.  “You’re kind of impossible sometimes.”

“Mm,” Ritsu agreed vaguely, his mouth moving lower now.  “I’m not used to people taking care of me, so perhaps I took advantage of your kindness,” he kept kissing and licking, exploring every inch of Mao with his mouth. 

“Fuck, Ritchan,” Mao hummed, his hands sliding up into Ritsu’s hair. 

“Still good?” Ritsu kissed his stomach. 

“Yeah.  Really good,” Mao promised, and he was almost surprised to realize that it was completely true.  Nobody had ever touched him like this before, but there was something so _natural_ about just being with Ritsu, about the easy banter that was second-nature after so many years, that made him realize that nothing had to change. 

“Can I take your shorts off?” he asked quietly. 

“Go for it,” Mao lifted his hips a little, feeling cool air hit his heated skin when the fabric was pulled away.  Ritsu made a noise low in his throat, sounding pleased, and Mao blinked into the darkness, a little unsure now because he couldn’t see the vampire’s expression. 

“You’re beautiful,” Ritsu murmured, mouth hot on Mao’s stomach again.  “My beautiful Maa-kun.”

“You’ve never said that before,” Mao reached for his shoulder and tugged him up, leaning to kiss him. 

“Would you have reacted well if I had?” Ritsu sounded amused.  “I’ve always thought so.”

“Oh,” Mao turned his face against Ritsu’s neck.  “Nobody’s ever said that to me.”

“They should.  Because you are,” he nudged at Mao’s cheek with his nose until Mao moved enough to kiss him again.  “And I know sometimes I’m not…the best at saying it.”

“Like when you said you’d drink all my blood and tears?” Mao asked, grinning.  “Because you say creepy things sometimes, Ritchan.”

“I’m eight hundred years old.  I’m allowed to be creepy,” Ritsu kissed him with a little more intensity and Mao groaned, pulling Ritsu down to him. 

“Eight-hundred, huh?”

“Mm,” Ritsu agreed vaguely.  “But that’s not important, is it?” his hand slid down Mao’s stomach again and Mao gasped.  “Are you still okay to keep going?”

“Yeah.  Can we just…stay like this, though?” he asked quietly, his arms snug around Ritsu’s shoulders. 

“Of course.  Let me just…” he could hear Ritsu shifting around a bit. 

“Wait,” Mao swallowed, taking a shaky breath when Ritsu stopped immediately. “You can turn a light on.  If you want.”

“Are you sure?” Ritsu was perfectly still, so quiet that Mao wasn’t even sure he was breathing - if he really needed to breathe, of course, but maybe that was another thing he could do to try and imitate humans.  “We can leave them off.”

“You can see me anyway, right?” Mao pointed out.  “And I…I want to see you.”

“Okay,” Ritsu pulled away and a few seconds later a soft, warm glow filled the room from the lamp on the bedside table.  “Is that good?”

Mao blinked, because even though the light was dim it still took his eyes a while to adjust.  “Yeah,” he looked down and blushed because right, he was lying there completely naked.  “Uh…”

“You really are beautiful,” Ritsu sat on the bed beside him, his eyes roving over Mao’s body.  “But you know we can still stop.”

Mao sighed and turned his head to the side, trying to clear his head.  “I don’t know why I’m so…”

“Is it because I actually told you how old I was?” Ritsu reached out to carefully brush some of Mao’s hair away from his forehead.  “I wasn’t trying to deceive you with my appearance for all of these years, you know.”

“I know,” Mao looked at the vampire again, once more seeing the depth of wisdom and experience in Ritsu’s blood-colored eyes.  “Okay.  But can you get a little, uh, less dressed?”

Ritsu shrugged and reached to pull his shirt off, his pale skin nearly glowing in the dim light.  “Anything else?”

“Just…keep kissing me,” Mao tugged him closer, his breath hitching at the feeling of Ritsu’s bare chest against his own. 

Ritsu hummed and obliged him, sealing his mouth over Mao’s again and letting his hand slide leisurely down Mao’s chest.  Mao couldn’t stop from flinching when Ritsu’s fingers brushed his cock, but he felt Ritsu freeze at the action and kissed him harder to hopefully let him know it was still okay.  

“Maa-kun,” Ritsu’s voice was shaky and Mao blinked, breaking the kiss with a tiny gasp.  Ritsu had that look on his face like he was experiencing something otherworldly again, his eyes almost all pupil and unfocused. 

“What…”

“It’s been so long…so long since I could feed off of arousal,” Ritsu growled, the darkness intensifying around him. 

“Ritsu?” Mao asked hesitantly, but Ritsu blinked and looked at Mao with obvious concern. 

“Shit.  It really _has_ been too long,” he burrowed his face against Mao’s neck, mouth latching there. 

“Ritsu- ah!” Mao’s fingers dug into Ritsu’s shoulders, pulling him in even tighter.  He let his head tip back, trusting that Ritsu wasn’t going to bite him or anything, and rolled his hips up into Ritsu’s hand. 

“” _Yes,”_ the word was almost a hiss, Ritsu’s teeth scraping Mao’s neck without putting enough pressure to break the skin.  “Tell me how I can make you feel good.”

Mao just kind of moaned, a little embarrassed by how vocal he was being, but he was beginning to think Kaoru’s comment about magic vampire sex appeal was actually a real thing.  He’d never felt this turned on before, like every nerve in his body was on fire, every brush of Ritsu’s fingers against his stomach or his lips against Mao’s neck feeling like it was going straight to his cock. 

Ritsu kissed him again, something possessive and desperate about the way his mouth crashed into Mao’s, and Mao carded his fingers through Ritsu’s hair, trying to soothe him. 

“It’s okay, Ritchan,” his voice was shaking.  “It’s okay.”

“I need…” Ritsu sounded desperate, his hand stroking faster.  “Please…”

Mao nodded, holding Ritsu’s head in place and staring into his eyes.  “Make me come,” he murmured, his voice trailing off into a yelp a moment later when Ritsu did… _something…_ with his wrist, flicking it and pressing his thumb just under the head of Mao’s cock.

“Come for me, come on,” Ritsu urged him, pressing their lips together again.  It was less desperate this time, although Mao could feel how tightly-coiled Ritsu’s body was under his fingertips. 

Mao’s orgasm hit him with almost startling intensity, his mouth falling open in a wordless gasp and his arms locking around Ritsu’s shoulders like he was holding on for dear life.  Ritsu was panting against his mouth, and Mao could feel… _something…_ like the charged way the air felt before a lightning strike, before Ritsu’s body wavered like he wasn’t quite _there_ and a brilliant flash made Mao yelp and squeeze his eyes shut. 

“Mm,” Ritsu sighed, sounding sleepy and sated.  “Sorry.  Should have warned you about that.”

“It’s fine,” Mao shivered and slumped against the pillows, chest heaving and body trembling with tiny aftershocks.  “That was intense.”

“In a good way?” Ritsu smiled at him, his cheeks flushed and his pale skin glistening, and Mao reached to touch his face, feeling warmth under his fingers. 

“You…”

“Yes,” Ritsu purred out the word.  “Mm, that was good.”

“But you didn’t…” Mao glanced down and blushed, because while Ritsu’s hand and wrist were spattered with Mao’s release, the other man’s pants were still spotless. 

“I can’t,” Ritsu reminded him.  “When you reach climax, I feel the same thing you do, but without the…well, the mess,” Ritsu’s lips quirked up into a smirk.  “Although I can’t say I mind,” he lifted his hand to his lips, licking it clean while Mao felt his face burning and tried to look away.  “Is this embarrassing?”

“That’s my, uh,” Mao mumbled and finally nodded.  

“Your essence,” Ritsu chuckled.  “I crave all of you, Maa-kun.  Everything in your body,” he stretched a little and lowered himself to lie beside Mao.  “Thank you.”

“For what?” Mao turned his head enough to look at Ritsu, who was smiling and looking at him with such emotion that he felt overwhelmed.  That an eight-hundred-year old creature would fall in love with _him,_ some unremarkable kid who didn’t deserve it…it was hard to comprehend. 

“For sharing that with me,” Ritsu reached for Mao’s hand with his clean one, clasping it tightly. 

“Thanks for being patient with me,” Mao turned so he was closer to Ritsu, snuggling up against him. 

“It was worth the wait,” Ritsu assured him.  “I’ve never felt like that before.”

“That’s just because it’s been a long time,” Mao tried to laugh it off. 

“No,” Ritsu shook his head and frowned.  “It’s because you’re the one I’ve been waiting for.”

“Ritchan,” Mao sighed, sliding an arm around Ritsu’s waist and pulling him in.  “I know it doesn’t mean much since I’ve only had eighteen years compared to eight-hundred, but I’m pretty sure I was waiting for you, too.  And I’m sorry it took me until now to realize it.”

“Better late than never,” Ritsu quipped, kissing Mao’s shoulder.  “That was…good for you?”

“Huh?” Mao blinked at him.  “Why are you asking?”

“Because I can feel what you do, but I don’t know what it’s usually like,” Ritsu admitted, nuzzling against the pillow.  “And it felt amazing for me.”

“It was.  Amazing,” Mao clarified, resting his hand on Ritsu’s hip. 

“You know what would make it even more amazing?” Ritsu asked softly, looking at Mao with a serious expression. 

“What?” Mao wasn’t sure where Ritsu was going with this. 

“If you let me bite you,” Ritsu mumbled, breaking eye contact, and Mao felt himself flinch without meaning to.  “Sorry.  I know you won’t, not after I almost killed you.”

“No,” Mao said firmly.  “I mean, I felt…really good when you did, and that was without sex being added to it, but I can’t, Ritchan,” he’d never liked sharp objects, not since Ritsu had jokingly bitten him as a kid (and now he realized that Ritsu hadn’t even been _trying_ to bite him then or else he would have come away with more than just a mark). 

“Okay,” Ritsu looked a little sad.  “I shouldn’t be selfish, you’re already giving me far more than I could have ever imagined,” he kissed Mao sweetly.  “But you know it’s in my nature to be selfish.”

“Especially when it comes to me, right?” Mao smiled to let Ritsu know he was just teasing him. “Mm, I think I need some water.  You want anything?” he sat up, reluctantly pulling himself away from Ritsu’s warmth – and that was new, because Ritsu was almost as warm as he was now. 

“Considering that I’m rather human at the moment, I should probably hydrate as well,” he nodded.  “And there should be some cake in the refrigerator.”

“Cake you made?” Mao reached for his shorts, deciding he could clean up properly later (Ritsu had done a pretty good job already, he thought with his cheeks flushing again). 

“Mm, Anija won’t let me make anything that looks too scary anymore,” he sniffed.  “It still tastes good, though.”

“I’ll bring it up,” Mao promised, pulling his T-shirt on and giving Ritsu another smile before leaving the room. 

He found the cake easily, grabbing the container it was in and two bottles of water and preparing to head back upstairs when he noticed Rei slumped over the table, apparently asleep. 

It looked like an uncomfortable position, though, so he set the cake down and walked closer, reaching to gently shake the vampire’s shoulder. 

“Rei?”

“Mm?” Rei looked at him blearily, yawning and sitting up.  “Sorry.  I must have dozed off after dinner,” his eyes were still unfocused and Mao was seriously starting to worry. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.  Kaoru-kun stayed long enough that I should be able to subsist off of that energy for a few days yet,” he smiled, though it was so obviously forced that Mao didn’t feel better at all.  “I’ll try to make it to my coffin before I fall asleep again,” he promised.  “Good night, Mao-kun.”

“Yeah,” Mao knew that Rei wasn’t going to say anything else so he shot a last worried look in his direction as he picked the cake up again and headed back to Ritsu’s room. 

“Was Anija up?” Ritsu was sitting cross-legged on the bed.  He reached for the cake as soon as Mao put the container down, picking up a piece and biting into it without any real grace. 

Mao nodded, unscrewing the cap on one of the water bottles and taking a drink before he said more.  “He looked awful.”

“It would be better if he just died,” Ritsu muttered harshly and Mao looked at him in surprise, because yeah, Ritsu had never exactly been… _kind_ to Rei, but he’d never used that tone of voice before.  “He’s only prolonging his suffering by hanging on.  I hate him.”

“You don’t hate him,” Mao replied. 

“I do,” Ritsu snarled, stuffing the rest of the cake in his mouth and chewing angrily.  The darkness was materializing around him again and his eyes were starting to glow.  “Maybe I should do it myself.”

“Ritsu!” Mao shrank back, suddenly feeling very unsafe.  “You’re scaring me, knock it off!”

“Huh?” Ritsu blinked, his eyes changing to a dull red color again. “I’m sorry, Maa-kun,” he sighed.  “Anija’s almost a thousand, by my count, and that’s…old, even for a vampire.  If he hasn’t found anybody to bond with after this many years, it’s not going to happen.”

“So he’s staying alive for you,” Mao realized, suddenly understanding.  “And you resent him for it.”

“I can’t even imagine how much he’s suffering,” Ritsu sighed.  “How hard it must be for him to just keep…existing.”

"You don't _actually_ hate him," Mao gave the vampire a smile and leaned back against the headboard, stretching his legs out in front of him.   
  
"That's debatable," Ritsu sighed and settled himself beside Mao, leaning his head on the young man's shoulder. "Maybe it's impossible to live with a guy for 800 years and not come to resent them at least a little," he was smiling too, his fangs sticking out a little with the action.   
  
"Can we do anything?" Mao asked softly, getting a half-hearted shrug in return.   
  
"Honestly, I have no idea. I wish we could, because the longer I see him like that, the more it hurts _me,”_ he sighed. "And there I go being selfish again."  
  
"At least you can recognize it," Mao kissed the top of his head and wrapped one arm around Ritsu's back. "Do you think he'll be okay tonight?"  
  
"He should be. If it looks bad in the morning we can always call somebody," Ritsu didn't seem all that concerned and Mao had to admit that he probably had more experience dealing with Rei so if he said it was okay, it would be.   
  
"Okay," Mao sat up a little, enough to take his shirt off again, and Ritsu gave him an appraising glance. "Are you ever going to take your pants off?" he asked, tossing the shirt at Ritsu.

"I don't have any objections to it, you realize, I just wasn't sure if you were ready for it."  
  
"I mean, I've pretty much come to terms with the fact that you've got, y'know, a dick, even if it doesn't really work," he was expecting Ritsu to tackle him for that one but he'd forgotten just how much strength and speed the vampire actually possessed and he found himself flat on his back with his wrists held firmly above his head.   
  
"It doesn't work, hmm?" Ritsu bared his fangs and leaned closer. "You won't be saying that when I'm fucking you with it," Ritsu murmured into his ear, fangs just barely grazing Mao's neck, and it was almost embarrassing how fast he got hard just from the words. "Oh?" Ritsu gave a low chuckle. "You like that idea? Or do you just like being held down?" he gripped Mao's wrists a little tighter and Mao gasped, trying to roll his hips up. "Interesting..."  
  
"D-don't tease, Ritchan," he swallowed, staring up at his friend.   
  
"I'm not," Ritsu shook his head and pulled away. "But I think it's fairly obvious that you're attracted to me by now," he added softly.  
  
"Yeah," Mao sat up, trying to calm himself down. "I am," he didn't see any point in trying to pretend otherwise.   
  
"Then I suppose there's no harm in this," Ritsu glanced at him again before standing up and undoing his pants, sliding them down as Mao watched with rather surprising eagerness. "You want to return the favor?"  
  
"You got to see me naked already. Give me a minute here," he stood and walked closer, hands settling on Ritsu's hips as his eyes roved over the vampire's body. He was still pale, even with the supposed humanity Mao had transferred to him, but he was beautiful…and, Mao thought with at least a little bit of envy, almost unfairly well-proportioned. "Will it feel good? If I touch you?" he asked softly.   
  
"Mm," Ritsu shrugged. "Yes, but it won't go anywhere."  
  
"That doesn't matter," Mao assured him. "I want to do it anyway."  
  
"My Maa-kun," Ritsu laughed. "Always so eager to help others.  Well, if you want to touch me I'm hardly going to object," he added. "Although…maybe not tonight. I'm old, after all, and this is more excitement than I've had in decades."  
  
"Okay," Mao knew they had time, so he wasn't worried about that, and he supposed they _should_ probably take things a little slower. "You wanna sleep, old man?" he teased, getting a yawn in return.   
  
"Yes," Ritsu staggered over to the bed and flopped onto it, generally making himself take up as much space as possible and leaving Mao to clean up the cake container and the water bottles before he knocked them off. "Maa-kun, take your pants off and cuddle me," he whined.   
  
"How can you be all deep and eternal one second and acting like a spoiled child the next?" Mao pushed his bangs out of his eyes, although he did take his pants off as Ritsu had demanded and crawled into bed with him.   
  
And oh. Yeah. They were both naked. That was new.   
  
"Okay?" Ritsu asked, leaning to kiss him.   
  
"Mm," Mao hummed against his lips, realizing that he didn't need to make a big deal out of this. "I'm fine."  
  
"Good," Ritsu yawned and pulled back, snuggling his head under Mao's chin. "Sleep."  
  
Mao somehow managed to get the blanket over both of them, wrapping Ritsu up tightly and smiling at the content sigh he let out at the action. "G'night, Ritchan," he mumbled, getting a pleased "mm, 'night, Maa-kun” in response, and he could tell Ritsu was already asleep only a few seconds after that.   
  
It took him longer to follow, his mind running through what they'd done and how he was feeling and what, if anything, they could do for Rei, but he really didn't mind being awake if it meant getting to hold Ritsu like this.   
  
He let Ritsu's all-too-human warmth soothe him, closing his eyes and deciding that whenever he happened to fall asleep was fine with him.   
  
Everything would work out, he told himself, fingers slipping through Ritsu's hair.   
  
Somehow, if they were together, everything would work out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Thank you as always to those who commented/left kudos! It does inspire me to write and I like hearing what you’re all thinking :) I don’t have much to say about this chapter (other than writing vampire sex is…interesting…) but it’s been a while since I’ve written anything explicit so I hope I wasn’t too rusty at it!


	6. Chapter 6

The incessant beeping of his phone was what woke him, and he reached over to the nightstand blearily to see what it was about.   
  
"Shit," he groaned, seeing enough texts that he had to scroll down the screen to fit all of them in.  He rubbed his eyes and flopped back against the pillows. " _Shit_."  
  
"Language, Maa-kun," Ritsu murmured, rolling over and cuddling up to Mao's side. "What's wrong?"  
  
"I completely forgot I'd made plans to hang out with the guys today and they've been texting me for the last three hours wondering where I am. Or if I'm even alive, judging by the last few messages," he did have to laugh a bit at the increasingly frantic tone of the texts.   
  
"By 'the guys,' you mean..."  
  
"Trickstar," he replied, smiling at the ceiling because he hadn't seen any of them since leaving for school in March and it would be good to spend some time together again. "We're going to the beach, I think. You can come if you want..."  
  
"Yes, a day outside in bright sunlight with people who don't know how to be quiet. I couldn't imagine anything more pleasurable," Ritsu said it so dryly that Mao started laughing, and he hooked an arm around the vampire's neck before pulling him in for a kiss.   
  
"Mm, it's still polite to ask," he nuzzled his nose against Ritsu's. "But I should really go. Or else..." he blinked as his phone beeped again and read the last message with a sigh. "They're at my place."  
  
"Tell them to come over. I don't mind as long as they stay in the sitting room, but if they touch my piano I can’t promise I won’t do something unpleasant to them," he bared his fangs and Mao snickered and kissed him again. "Maa-kun is so mean to me, not taking me seriously."  
  
"Because you're not serious," Mao smiled at him, running his fingers through Ritsu's hair. "But I'll let them know."  
  
"Mm," Ritsu yawned, half lying on Mao while he sent the text. "Guess I'd better go down to let them in and keep an eye on them."  
  
"I should, uh, probably shower," Mao coughed to cover his embarrassment because he'd never really cleaned up properly after last night.   
  
"Feel free. I'd say we could conserve water and shower together, but I doubt we have time for that," Ritsu was grinning and Mao gulped, feeling his body react just to those simple words. "One day," he leaned in for another quick kiss before sliding out of bed, and Mao let himself stare this time, even though he had a feeling that Ritsu being naked was something he would be seeing a lot of.   
  
...not that he was complaining, of course.   
  
"Up, Maa-kun," Ritsu said briskly, pulling a pair of pyjama pants out of a drawer.   
  
Mao slid out of bed reluctantly, stretching and heading into the washroom, and he just hoped Ritsu would be able to keep his annoyance in check once the others got there. 

000

  
As it turned out, there was no carnage to be seen by the time Mao had showered, dressed in yesterday's clothes, and made his way to the sitting room.   
  
"Sari!" Subaru was the first to react and Mao had to hold his arms out to stop the energetic boy...man, really...from ploughing him over. "We were so worried! You never sleep this late!"  
  
"Long night," Mao replied with an apologetic smile, although he'd never tell them exactly _why_ it had been long. "Sorry I worried you guys."  
  
"It's fine," Makoto was sitting rather stiffly on the sofa, his eyes darting around the room like he was afraid something was going to pop out at him from somewhere. "We should get going, though, if we want to spend a few hours at the beach."  
  
"We may as well stop for lunch on the way there since it's gotten so late," Hokuto stood up from his seat and crossed over to Mao. "Ready to go?"  
  
"Yeah," Mao nodded, looking back to where Ritsu was seated on the piano bench. "You sure you don't want to come?"  
  
He could see Makoto and Subaru grimace at the question and knew they probably didn't want Ritsu hanging around, though they really didn’t have worry since Ritsu gave him a rather level look that clearly implied he wasn't any more interested now than he had been a half-hour ago when Mao had first raised the idea.  
  
"I should be here in case something happens with Anija," he sighed heavily. "I don't think he's even awake yet."  
  
Mao bit his lip, walking over to Ritsu before he could stop himself and resting a hand on his shoulder. "If you need me, call me, okay?"  
  
"I will. Though I doubt you can do much to help when he needs..." he shrugged, but Mao understood. No matter how much he wanted to help Rei, he had no kinship with him, so good intentions were all he had and those weren't going to do a damn thing.   
  
"Is something wrong with Sakuma-san?" Subaru asked softly and Ritsu shrugged, looking unconcerned.   
  
"It's nothing. Don't worry about him," he waved a hand dismissively, but by now Mao could tell when he was covering things up.  He knew Ritsu wasn't feeling nearly as nonchalant as he appeared to be.   
  
"Okay," that seemed to appease Subaru and he tugged at Mao's hand. "C'mon, Sari, you've wasted enough time already! Let's go!"  
  
"I'll be back later," Mao promised, leaning down to give Ritsu a quick peck on the lips without thinking twice about it, but from the way the room went completely silent he knew he'd just majorly fucked up.   
  
He cleared his throat and turned on his heel, walking quickly out of the room with his head down and his hands clenched into fists at his sides.  For once, thankfully, the others seemed to get that he didn't want to talk about it because the ride to the beach - although it had an awkward, uncomfortable atmosphere that was impossible to ignore - was silent. 

000

  
"Do you want to explain?" Hokuto settled himself beside Mao under the large umbrella, pulling his knees to his chest and watching Subaru and Makoto having an impromptu water gun fight that was taking them all the way up and down the beach.   
  
"Not particularly," Mao grunted, which wasn't a lie even though it wasn't _exactly_ the truth. He didn't really want to explain, no, but he also _couldn't_ explain...at least, not about the vampire thing, and without that it would be hard to him to come up with any sort of believable story.   
  
"So you're dating him?" Hokuto asked bluntly, causing Mao to shrug.  
  
"Look, it's complicated," he finally replied, thinking absently that he used that word a lot to describe this...whatever the thing with Ritsu was. "But yeah, I guess you could say we're dating."  
  
"This is a recent development?" Hokuto leaned back and took a sip from his water bottle. "Because I knew you were childhood friends, but this is hardly expected."  
  
"Pretty recent," Mao replied, trying to keep his tone as light as he could.   
  
"I'm not stupid, you know. You were at his house overnight, which probably means this has gone farther than a couple of dates," he looked so impassive that Mao had no idea what to say, and eventually he sighed.   
  
"Yes, okay? Yes, we fooled around...not that it's any of your business," he added bluntly, not wanting to be rude but really hoping that Hokuto would just drop the topic already.   
  
"Even if you hadn't kissed him, I think most of us would have been suspicious anyway," he looked sideways at Mao. "Your neck," he shrugged and Mao clapped a hand over his throat. "Are you sure the guy's not a vampire?"  
  
Mao shook his head, not trusting his voice to not give him away if he tried to lie outright. "Look, if this is an issue, I can leave."  
  
"It's not an issue," Hokuto assured him. "It's no concern of mine who you decide to pursue a relationship with. It's just..." he paused and narrowed his eyes, looking like he was trying to find the right word and eventually coming out with, "unexpected."  
  
And really, Mao should have anticipated this. To Arashi and Kaoru, people who knew about the vampire thing, Mao suddenly deciding to get involved with Ritsu without any warning made sense and was something they had no trouble just accepting for what it was. However, for these guys, it looked like Mao went off for a few months and then came home only to start sleeping with his childhood friend, and he could easily see how that would be confusing.   
  
But now he was stuck, since anything he said would sound like he was making up excuses considering that he'd never shown any interest in guys before.   
  
"Yeah. It kind of came out of nowhere," he finally replied, and at least that wasn't untrue. "Ritsu's always been my friend but until now I'd never considered him, you know, being more than that."  
  
Hokuto made a non-committal noise, thankfully not pressing the issue further, and only got up when Subaru started playing around on some rocks by the edge of the shoreline to yell at him about being careful not to fall in.   
  
He was ignored, of course, which made him sigh and stomp through the sand to attempt to bodily pull Subaru away from the edge of the outcrop, but Mao was kind of glad for the respite.   
  
"Ugh," Makoto flopped beside him, taking off his glasses and frowning. "He got me right in the face," he muttered, and Mao noticed that the lenses were speckled with water droplets. He attempted to use a corner of the beach towel they were sitting on to clean them off, rubbing furiously before squinting through the glasses again and shrugging. "Good enough."  
  
Hokuto had reached Subaru by this point and grabbed his wrist, yanking him back onto the sand, although Subaru seemed predictably oblivious and was soon distracted by some shiny shells that had washed up with the tide.   
  
"This is nice, being together again," Makoto commented after a few minutes of them watching Subaru pick up shells to excitedly show a rather bored-looking Hokuto. "And we _were_ kinda worried about you, you know."  
  
"Yeah,"Mao bit his lip and nodded. "I should have remembered to tell you guys where I was, but everything kind of...happened quickly last night."  
  
"Uh, I really don't need details," Makoto was blushing a little and Mao had to smile at that. "But seriously, the two of you were always way closer than normal friends so maybe it's not that weird, y'know?"  
  
"I still don't blame you guys for being surprised by it," Mao idly drew patterns in the sand with his fingertip, watching the tiny grains pour into the furrows he left almost as soon as he'd finished making them.   
  
"Yeah, well, it's probably a good thing this didn't happen back in high school or we'd have to accuse you of sleeping with the enemy," Makoto elbowed him gently in the ribs and Mao opened his mouth to laugh only to get a face full of water instead. He coughed, sputtering, raising a hand to move his soaked bangs out of his eyes and levelling a glare toward Subaru at the same time.   
  
"Heads up, Sari!" he crowed, seemingly unaware that he should have said that _before_ actually blasting Mao in the face. Makoto held out the water gun he'd been using and Mao took it eagerly, deciding that it was time to have a little fun of his own.   
  
"You'll regret that!" he called, sprinting after Subaru down the beach, and just like that all of the earlier awkwardness melted away and they were just Trickstar again, the same as they had always been.   
  
It was nice.

000

  
It was late by the time he made it back home, the sun starting to set and the shadows growing long as he stopped briefly to grab a change of clothes and his toothbrush before going back to the Sakuma house (his parents and sister were going to get suspicious right away, but he figured as long as he spent some time at home during the day when Ritsu was sleepy anyway they wouldn't have too much of an issue with him spending the night over there).   
  
The house was quiet when he entered, a slight shuffling from the kitchen the only hint that clued him into the presence of somebody else. He walked inside, stopping when he saw someone at the counter and clearing his throat so as not to startle them.   
  
"Oh. Hey, man," Kaoru glanced over his shoulder, and the first thing Mao noticed was that he looked exhausted. His long blond hair was unkempt and tied back in an effort to keep it under control, and he was staring at the tea kettle as if he wasn't quite sure how it worked.   
  
"Hey," Mao dropped his bag on one of the counter stools. "Is he...?"  
  
"It's not good," Kaoru shook his head. "He...fuck, he should be better than he is, but it's like he's getting _worse_ even with me around and I don't know what to do," he admitted softly.   
  
"Where's Ritsu?" Mao asked, getting a semblance of Kaoru's normal knowing smirk in response.   
  
"Looking after Sakuma-san for a bit," he finally replied after it was obvious Mao wasn't going to rise to his bait. "I needed a break and it's too late for coffee so even though I don't normally drink tea..." he shrugged.  
  
"I feel so helpless," Mao sank down into a chair, all of his good mood from spending the day with the guys evaporating. He wasn't sure what it felt like to be at the bedside of a sick relative, never knowing which day would be their last, but the comparison was there in his mind regardless.   
  
"Yeah. I do, too," Kaoru winced a little when the tea kettle gave a shrill whistle. "You want some?"  
  
"Since you've got the water hot already, sure," Mao nodded, watching Kaoru and seeing fatigue in every line of his body. His hands were shaking a little as he poured the water out of the kettle and Mao knew this was hitting him even harder than he was letting on.   
  
"We were gonna...keep being idols together, you know?" he said suddenly. "We made plans to keep going, and maybe the others would join us once they graduated, but I thought...that was the plan. I had something to look forward to. And now..." he sighed, setting the kettle back down. "Now he can't even get off of the sofa and it _hurts_ seeing him like that."  
  
Mao blinked, because he'd known all of UNDEAD had been close but he hadn't realized the extent of it. "We'll figure something out," he says as firmly as he can, although all things considered it probably didn't sound at all convincing. "There has to be a way to keep him going."  
  
"I even offered to let him take my blood," Kaoru laughed bitterly. "I didn't know what else to do, but he said he's never liked blood and he just wants some tomato juice," he wrinkled his nose. "Maybe he's not even trying anymore."  
  
He took the bags out of the cups and passed one over to Mao, heading to the fridge to grab the juice and pour it into a tall glass.   
  
"Are you staying tonight?" Mao asked, closing his eyes and taking a sip. Tea wasn't his favourite drink (although he knew Ritsu probably liked it being in the tea club and all), but it was warm and soothing.   
  
"Yeah. So don't be too loud with your crazy vampire sex," he winked, picking up both his cup and the juice. "Coming?"  
  
Mao nodded, holding his own cup and following Kaoru to the sitting room. Rei was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, still shivering despite that, and Ritsu was sitting in a nearby armchair, his face unreadable.  
  
"Ritchan..." Mao started, Ritsu blinking as if he'd been in some sort of trance and smiling when he saw it was Mao. "Uh...want some tea?"  
  
Ritsu nodded, shifting over on the seat so that Mao could crowd in beside him, and when he took the cup Mao could see how drawn his expression was. It made the young man feel incredibly guilty, that he'd been off at the beach having water gun fights with his friends while Ritsu had been looking after Rei all day.   
  
"Don't," he shook his head as if he could tell what Mao was thinking. "You deserve to go have fun. Don't worry about somebody who's lived for almost a millennium."  
  
"I'm too old to be worried about, am I?" Rei peered out from the blanket, giving Mao a tired smile. "Welcome back, Mao-kun."  
  
"Here," Kaoru held out the juice and Rei took it with shaking hands, looking like he barely had enough energy to raise it to his mouth and drink.   
  
"Thank you," Rei said quietly, curling toward Kaoru when the other man sat beside him. "You two don't have to stay here, you know," his red eyes were filled with mirth as he looked at Mao and Ritsu. "Don't let the failing health of an old man ruin your fun."  
  
"I wish you'd stop joking about this, Anija," Ritsu snarled. "Let them help you."  
  
"Even blood couldn't help me now, I fear," Rei shrugged his shoulders listlessly. "Nothing will. I can feel my body shutting down, so it's only a matter of time."  
  
"Fine. Have it your way," Ritsu stood up, eyes blazing as his fingers tightened around the cup. "Die knowing that I hate you."  
  
"You've hated me for a long time," Rei murmured. "Maybe you'll think more kindly of me when I'm gone. I've always tried to do right by you, Ritsu, even if sometimes I wasn't very good at it."  
  
" _Fuck you_ ," Ritsu's voice was shaking and he turned quickly, all but running from the room and leaving Mao staring after him with wide eyes.   
  
"If he thinks his hatred will be enough to sustain me, he's mistaken," Rei let his head rest on Kaoru's shoulder. "Though I appreciate that he's trying in his own way."  
  
Kaoru still didn't say anything, his mouth pulled into a thin line as he wrapped an arm around Rei and burrowed his nose into the vampire's dark hair.   
  
"You don't have to stay, Kaoru-kun," Rei clutched at his shirt, the desperate action completely contradicting his words. "I don't want you to be here when I..."  
  
"Shut up. You think I'm gonna leave you alone?" Kaoru's voice sounded thick. "I'm staying. As long as it takes, I'm staying."  
  
"If you'd do me one last favor," Rei looked up. "Tomorrow, if you could call the others here...I'd like to see them again."  
  
"Yeah. Of course," Kaoru nodded. "Do you think you'll be..."  
  
"I can hold on until then, but after that...well, it's not like you'll have a body to deal with or anything. I'll probably just dissolve into nothing," he smiled enough to bare his teeth and Kaoru held him even more tightly, not looking up. From the way his shoulders were shaking Mao would bet he was crying, and Mao had to admit that his own eyes felt a little wet, but he had a feeling Kaoru wasn't the type to let anybody see his weaknesses. "Don't grieve for me, Kaoru-kun. I feel blessed that, even this late in life, I was able to find people who made my days enjoyable. And I leave knowing my brother's in the best possible hands," he looked at Mao.   
  
"Yeah. I'll take care of him," he vowed.   
  
"You should go after him. I'll still be here in the morning," he seemed sure of that and while Mao didn't know if it was true, he couldn't really say anything against it.   
  
"Okay. If you guys need anything, though, come get us," he added, feeling useless and hating it.   
  
Rei gave a single nod before his eyes closed.  Mao looked at him worriedly one last time before leaving the room and heading to Ritsu's bedroom.   
  
He could hear the shower running as he entered, hesitating a moment because he wasn't sure if just...joining Ritsu without any warning would go over that well, but he told himself to stop being a coward and just do it.   
  
No matter how cold Ritsu acted, he needed somebody right now. Mao might not be able to help Rei, but he could be there for Ritsu.   
  
It might not be much, but since it was the only thing he could do…it would have to be enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I’ve never written the rest of Trickstar before so I probably failed horribly but I tried…
> 
> 2\. I also want to apologize to Rei because I’m putting him through a lot and I feel awful about it.
> 
> 3\. This fic has gone past 1000 hits and has almost 100 kudos and I have no idea how but thank you all so much for continuing to read and comment. I’m very glad people are still enjoying it!


	7. Chapter 7

"When I said we could shower together, I anticipated the circumstances being better," Ritsu gave him an even look when he stepped in behind him, but his body folded against Mao's naturally when the younger man embraced him.   
  
"What are we going to do?" Mao asked, pressing his lips to Ritsu's neck.   
  
"This is why I said it would be better if he died," Ritsu clutched at him, one hand sliding into his hair. "I don't know if there's anything we _can_ do any longer."  
  
Mao blinked, his forehead against Ritsu's shoulder now as he let the warm spray from the shower relax him. "He said he'll still be here in the morning. Do you think...?"  
  
"He will be," Ritsu hummed, pulling Mao's body more firmly to his. "You're so _alive_ , Maa-kun. And he...he smells like death. Like the grave," he sounded haunted. "That's not my brother. That's not...who he should be."  
  
"I know, Ritchan," Mao didn't know what else to say because he couldn't make it better, not this time. He lifted his head enough to kiss Ritsu, holding him tightly.   
  
"I don't think I'll sleep tonight," Ritsu said quietly, reaching to turn the water off. "But if you'd like to stay, I'd still..."  
  
"Of course," Mao nodded, letting his hands roam over Ritsu's slick skin. "Mm, this probably isn't the time, but I really want to just...explore you."  
  
"I won't say no to that, usually," Ritsu sounded a little amused. "There's nothing I like more than Maa-kun paying attention to me and only me," he purred, latching on Mao's neck.   
  
Mao laughed, tilting his head and marvelling at how safe he felt with Ritsu doing that now. He knew Ritsu still wanted to bite him, but he also knew that he wouldn't unless Mao told him it was okay. "Hey," he said, thinking back on something Kaoru had said. "Is it true Rei doesn't like blood?"  
  
"Not particularly. He'll drink it when it's necessary for him to survive, but he doesn't crave it," Ritsu reached for a towel and ran it through his hair.   
  
"Not like you, huh?" Mao wasn't really teasing, but Ritsu smiled anyway.   
  
"Mm, I'm not sure if I like blood or orgasms more," he gave Mao a rather predatory look. "But you can give me the second one, right?"  
  
"Uh. Yeah," Mao swallowed, though when Ritsu put it that way it made it seem as if he was just some sort of walking, breathing energy bank and Ritsu had to hit up now and again to get his fix.   
  
"Maa-kun," he sighed and dropped the towel on the counter. "I didn't mean..."  
  
"I...I know," he nodded, lips pressed together in a thin line. "I know you didn't."  
  
"You know my feelings toward you wouldn't change even if you never spoke to me again,” Ritsu took a step closer and wrapped his arms around Mao's waist. "I'm happy with whatever you choose to give me."  
  
"I know, Ritchan," Mao hugged him back and sighed. "But I want to give you everything."  
  
"You've already given more than you'll ever realize," Ritsu murmured against his skin. "Nobody's ever..."  
  
"Ever what?" Mao wasn't used to Ritsu being this contemplative, but maybe Rei's current situation was making him more serious than usual.   
  
"In the past, the people I've bonded with...to be honest, it's never worked out. Even those that have accepted me as a vampire really only saw me as some sort of...sexual object, and those that didn't...like I said, either they ran or they tried to kill me. You're the first person who not only doesn't care that I'm a vampire, but that treats me like I'm your equal and not a monster or a free fuck," he sighed and Mao held him tighter, pressing his nose against Ritsu's neck. "I never complained...at least, not about that," he added and Mao had to smile because Ritsu definitely complained about almost everything else. "But I mostly accepted it because I _am_ a monster and maybe that's my curse, to never be truly happy, but you..." he stopped.    
  
"I had no idea," Mao said in a low voice. "But I don't see you as a monster. You're just...my best friend, and I love you, and that's all that matters to me."  
  
"This is why I almost wish Anija was bonded with somebody from UNDEAD, because I know they'd be the same for him as you are for me and while he's had somewhat better luck with his bond-mates...probably because he's more, uh, sociable than me...it's still never been perfect," he closed his eyes. "I mean, somebody offering to let him take their blood? That's unheard of, but they'd all do it even if it's too late for it to help."  
  
"We're going to figure this out," Mao promised, more determined than ever now. "I'll stay up all night if I have to."  
  
"Okay," Ritsu moved away a little, crossing his arms and looking conflicted. "I'll get my computer and we can do some research...I'm sure almost all of the so-called vampire 'resources' out there are made up, but there's a chance there's something actually written by a real vampire," he grabbed a robe and pulled it on, moving back into his room. "But first I'm getting more tea because I never really got to enjoy that cup. You want some?" he glanced back and Mao nodded, deciding he was just going to borrow a pair of Ritsu's pajamas for the night and going to get dressed.   
  
He grabbed his phone, seating himself on the bed with his back against the headboard, and tried looking for information until Ritsu came back with the tea.   
  
It didn't really help to keep him awake, and after a couple of hours of fruitless searching he felt his eyelids getting heavier and heavier until he was leaning against Ritsu's shoulder, letting the vampire's even breaths and the rhythmical tapping of his fingers against the laptop keys lull him into slumber.   


000

  
He woke up with a start, blinking as bright sunlight assaulted his eyes, and looked around him hurriedly only to find that the room was empty. There was a blanket wrapped around him – obviously Ritsu’s doing –and he felt his entire body warm with the thought because Ritsu didn’t usually take care of anybody else.

There were more important things to worry about, though, and he hurriedly got up and rushed to the sitting room, almost afraid of what would happen when he opened the door. 

He swallowed his fears and did it anyway, pushing it open and feeling a spike of dread when he saw Rei because his skin was almost transparent, his hair lank and greying as if he didn't even have enough energy to keep up his youthful appearance any longer. 

"They'll be here right away so just hang on," Kaoru looked like he hadn't slept a wink, which was probably true, and his hand was shaking as he stroked Rei's hair back. The vampire's head was in his lap, Kaoru curled almost protectively around him. 

"Hey," Mao stepped into the room. Kaoru looked up, trying to smile and failing horribly. "Where's Ritsu?"

"He came in here about an hour ago and said he was onto something, but I haven't seen him since," Kaoru shook his head. "I don't know if we can even do anything at this point, he's barely hanging on."

"I'm not that badly off yet," Rei laughed, although it turned into a coughing fit that left him panting and looking worse than ever. 

"Where is he?" Mao heard the front door slam open hard enough to shake the entire house, and a few seconds later Koga burst into the room, his eyes wild. "Shit..." he didn't seem to even notice Mao as he staggered forward, and the look on his face was something Mao had never seen from him before. 

"Oogami, wait a minute..." Adonis wasn't even out of breath as he came in, his eyes darting around the room before he spotted Mao and gave him a slow nod. He didn't say anything when he saw Rei, although Mao could see his lips press into a thin line. 

Rei's eyes blinked open then, as if he could sense the presence of other people in the room, and he smiled as he looked at them. "My children," he murmured, trying to reach out his hand and not even having the strength to do that. 

"You bastard," Koga's voice was choked. "You fucking _bastard_."

"Come now, Koga, I thought we were past that," Rei mentioned idly. 

"Not if you've been this weak and haven’t even called us to help you," he growled, sinking to his knees beside the couch and grabbing for Rei's hand. "Fuck, you're like ice!"

"You can't help me," Rei said, almost too softly for Mao to hear. "None of you can. But having you here now...I'm grateful. All of you have become such wonderful young men, and I only wish I could be around to see you all reach your full potential. Take care of each other when I'm..." he paused, closing his eyes. 

"We will," Adonis broke in, walking closer and moving to sit beside Kaoru. "Of course we will."

"I know. Thank you," Rei smiled a little when Adonis let his hand rest gently on the vampire's head, almost like he was afraid Rei would break if he did anything else. "Going like this...it isn't so bad," he sighed, his breath sounding like a death rattle in his lungs. 

"No," Koga had his forehead resting against the seat cushions of the couch, both hands gripping Rei's so tightly his own knuckles were turning white. "You can't...Sakuma-san..." 

He was crying, and Mao was certain Kaoru would have been too if he'd have had any tears left to shed. His head was bowed, blond hair messy and hiding his face, and his body was trembling from emotion and exhaustion. 

Only Adonis stayed impassive, though his eyes were suspiciously wet and Mao knew he wasn't any less affected than the others. 

"Where is that brother of mine..." Rei's voice was a whisper. "He'd probably like to see me go...make sure I'm really gone..." 

His words trailed off then, his body shimmering like it was about to dissolve, and the almost animalistic whine that was ripped from Koga's throat made Mao's blood run cold. "No...you can't...you bastard, _I love you_ , you can't just..."

"Don't," Kaoru took a deep breath. "We can't do anything, he's..."

"Move."

"Ritsu?" Mao looked over his shoulder, eyes wide because Ritsu's body wasn't quite solid and the entire room got darker when he walked in. 

"All of you, get away from him. Now!"

He was using his real voice, the one that sounded older and more alert, and Adonis nodded and moved immediately, gripping Koga's arm to get him to stand and half-dragging him away. 

Kaoru set Rei's body carefully on the sofa, giving Ritsu a searching look and joining the others before sinking down on the carpet like his legs wouldn't support him anymore. 

"I've got one shot at this, so if any of you believe in a higher power, you'd better start praying," Ritsu shifted then, his full vampire form wrapped in darkness and his eyes blazing red. 

Mao could hear somebody gasp and turned to see the others staring at Ritsu in obvious horror, even Adonis backing off a little. 

He tried not to react but he couldn’t stop himself from taking a step back, because the aura that Ritsu gave off as a vampire made him feel terrified in a way that nothing else ever had.  It was like every nightmare, every fear that was sealed away in the deepest corner of his thoughts had come out to assault him at once, and he could barely _breathe._

Ritsu _was_ a monster.  There was no denying it, whatever Mao said to the contrary, and it was only times like these that he was forcibly reminded just how inhuman and dangerous a creature he could be.  
  
"You're not leaving me, Anija. Not yet," Ritsu didn't really move so much as the darkness surrounding him _shifted_ , engulfing the sofa until Mao couldn't see anything through the blackness. The air shimmered and there was a bright flash, something about it so familiar that Mao knew he'd seen is before but his brain was too overwhelmed to think of where at the moment.  
  
And then the stifling feeling of horror was gone, leaving Ritsu slumped against the couch in his human form as the room went back to its normal level of brightness.  At first Mao couldn't see any change at all in Rei and wondered if Ritsu had been too late.   
  
"Anija?" Ritsu opened his eyes, leaning close to Rei and whispering. "Oniichan?" he said then, sounding broken, and Mao felt his chest ache at the amount of emotion in the word.  
  
For the space of a few heartbeats nobody moved, until Rei's eyes blinked open and he cooed, "You called me ‘Oniichan!’  You're so cute!” before promptly smothering Ritsu in a hug.   
  
"Ack, get off of me! Don't make me regret saving your life!" Ritsu protested weakly, though his feigned annoyance quickly faded and he clung to Rei just as tightly. "Don't ever do that again. _Ever_."  
  
Rei chuckled, not making any promises because of course he couldn't and they all knew that, but he was smiling brightly and for once looked almost healthy.   
  
"You really _are_ a bastard, making me worry like that," Koga scrubbed his sleeve over his eyes and hiccupped, getting to his feet and nearly falling onto the sofa, his hands gripping the collar of Rei's shirt.   
  
"But you love me," Rei smirked. "Koga."  
  
"Shut up! I thought you were dead!" Koga protested weakly, his tears of pure happiness and relief this time. "How are you not dead?"  
  
"I believe I'll let Ritsu explain that one," Rei was still lying on top of his brother, who was looking more and more unimpressed with each passing second. "But perhaps we should all get more comfortable first. I have a feeling this is going to be quite the tale."  
  
Ritsu nodded, looking over at Mao, and since Mao was just as lost as everyone else in the room it was something he really wanted to know, too.   


000

  
"I'm not even sure how to explain it," Ritsu yawned, snuggling against Mao in the same armchair they'd shared the night before. He was cold again, his voice back to bring languid, and Mao had pulled a blanket around them to try and warm him up quicker.  There was nothing of the dark creature left in the sleepy young man now, but Mao didn’t think he could ever forget that it was lurking inside…or that it seemed to be so easy for Ritsu to call that part of him to the surface.  "But the only thing I found during research that seemed almost plausible was something about a massive energy exchange being able to get essentially reanimate even a dying vampire."

Mao froze, suddenly remembering where he’d seen that flash before, and he knew _exactly_ what sort of energy Ritsu was talking about. 

"So, since I was rather more human than normal, I could share a lot of the extra energy I had…accumulated…and I only hoped it was enough," he thankfully kept the explanation vague but Mao knew the others wouldn't let it go so easily and he tried to prepare for the inevitable embarrassment. 

"Wait a minute," Koga looked over at them, narrowing his eyes. "You're a vampire. Why did you need to look online for answers?"

"Vampires by nature are rather solitary creatures and having two in the same area would normally result in one of them essentially forcing the other to move on," Rei answered, lounging back on the sofa and looking like the very picture of easy elegance. He'd recovered remarkably quickly and while Mao was grateful, a part of him was more than a little shaken still at how they'd likely only been a few minutes away from being too late altogether. 

"So how'd you guys manage?" Kaoru still looked exhausted and he hadn't let go of Rei since moving back to the couch, arms wrapped around him like he was afraid the vampire would disappear otherwise. Koga had sulked for a while after he'd stopped crying, standing in the corner with his arms crossed and refusing to even acknowledge Rei until he'd apparently decided it wasn't the time to be petty and had squished himself onto the sofa with the other two. Even Adonis had eventually joined them, looking a little unsure at being so close, but Mao knew all of them needed it. 

"Not easily, as you can probably see," Rei chuckled and Mao heard Ritsu grumble something unintelligible into his ear. "But regardless, we're not really supposed to...save each other, I suppose, so there was no instinctual knowledge of how to make it happen."

"I'm not letting you go until I do," Ritsu said, glaring in the general direction of the couch. "So you'd better accept it."

"I have no qualms about being alive, you realize," Rei stroked his fingers through Koga's hair and the younger man sighed before pressing even closer, his ear pressed to Rei's chest like he was trying to hear his heart beating. "But it's still not a permanent solution and it doesn't mean I'll need any of you less," he directed this to the others on the sofa and Kaoru shrugged. 

"I think we're used to it already," he smiled and let his head rest on Rei's shoulder. 

"Hey, warn us if you're going to have some sort of UNDEAD orgy or something," Ritsu grunted. Apparently saving lives made him surly, Mao thought, or else he was just trying to hide how relieved he really was. 

It was the second one, of course, but Ritsu would never say it aloud. 

"Hey, Isara, you wanna help me make coffee? I need a pick-me-up," Kaoru shifted carefully away from Rei, directing Adonis to take his place. He did so rather slowly, still looking wary, his hands hovering over Rei's shoulders. 

"I'm not going to break, Adonis-kun," he promised, and Adonis nodded silently before holding him more tightly. 

"You gonna be okay if I go?" Mao asked Ritsu, who shivered and clung to him. "I can stay."

"No, go on. That just...took a lot out of me," he admitted softly. Mao kissed his forehead, wrapping the blanket more tightly around him. "Don't be too long, okay?"

"I won't," Mao promised, heading to the kitchen and seeing that Kaoru _was_ , in fact, making coffee, although Mao knew this was also an excuse for them to talk. 

It was better than being called out in front of everyone, but that didn't make it any less mortifying in the end. 

"So. That ‘massive energy exchange’ little Sakuma was talking about…” he started, his old sly grin back in place, and Mao nodded. 

"Yeah. He told me the other night it's the best way to, uh, take energy from a human short of drinking blood, but I guess it's more...concentrated," he decided that was a safe word, and it was also probably true since, as he'd experienced the first day, taking blood wasn't the quickest process. 

"Having your life saved by a fucking _orgasm_. That's incredible," Kaoru laughed and leaned against the counter, his eyes brighter now although they were still red-rimmed with the after-effects of tears. "So was I right about the magic vampire sex appeal?"

"Maybe," Mao wasn't going to admit that Kaoru was right about anything, necessarily, even though the thought had crossed his mind. "It was...uh...different."

"Different, huh?" Kaoru looked vaguely interested. "I mean, not that I'm attracted to Sakuma-san because he's a guy, but I'm all for new experiences if they're gonna blow my mind," he gets the coffee brewing, turning back to Mao as his expression softens. "Seriously, though. Thank you. Both you and him, y'know? He wouldn't be here otherwise, and I...I don't know if I would have been okay."

"Uh, I didn't really do much. At least not on purpose," Mao blushed and stared down at the floor for a while, still trying not to think too hard about it. 

He'd said he would do anything to help Rei, and that much was true. 

He just really hadn’t expected it to happen the way it did, and he realized that things were only going to more complicated so he needed to talk to Ritsu. 

That could come later, though. Right now, he was just going to be happy that _something_ had worked. 

In the end, that’s what was most important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Of course I could never do anything truly horrible to Rei, but I’m still sorry for putting him through that!
> 
> 2\. That’s about all I have to say this time around, but as always thank you so much for the support I’ve been receiving on this fic :)


	8. Chapter 8

He ended up carrying Ritsu back to his bedroom after they'd had coffee, mostly because he had a feeling the rest of UNDEAD wanted to spend some time with Rei, but his plan of having a serious conversation was getting a little derailed considering Ritsu could barely keep his eyes open.   
  
Mao set him on the bed, still wrapped in the blanket, and Ritsu blinked sleepily at him. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, reaching out his hand and looking confused when Mao didn't take it right away. "Maa-kun? A-are you leaving me?" he clutched the blanket around himself then, red eyes wide.   
  
"What? No, silly, why would you think that?" Mao tried to sound positive, forcing a smile onto his face.   
  
"Your smell changed," Ritsu tilted his head to the side. "It's cold. You're never cold. You're like the sun, you're not supposed to be cold," he mumbled.   
  
Mao sighed, knowing that he couldn't hide anything from Ritsu. He really didn't want to talk about this but it was almost inevitable, especially since Ritsu wouldn't let it go now.   
  
Ritsu bit his lip, reaching out his hand again hesitantly, and Mao didn't stop himself from grabbing it that time. "Come here," Ritsu murmured, opening the blanket. He was shivering just from that and Mao tried to resist because this would be even harder if he was holding Ritsu, but he just wasn't capable of being that cruel.   
  
He slid onto the bed, wrapping Ritsu in his arms and pulling the blanket around them both. Ritsu cuddled against his chest, a tiny smile on his lips that made Mao's heart ache to look at it because Ritsu really _did_ love him and that made this even harder.   
  
"You're not an energy bank to me," he promised, Mao wondering absently just how he could be so _perceptive_ at times. "That's what you're worrying over, right? That since I used your...energy to save Anija, that you'll have to keep providing it if you want him to stay alive."  
  
"Yeah," he didn't see any point in lying. "Ritsu, I..."  
  
"You won't," Ritsu promised. "Or at least, not very often. What I gave him today should hold him over for a long time."  
  
"But I'll still have to at some point, right? So it's not really any different," he replied, trying not to raise his voice. "I'm stuck, Ritchan. If I don't...he's going to die and you're going to go to sleep for who knows how long, and if I do, it's going to keep feeling like an obligation which is the last thing I want. You know how hard it is for me to say no to people who need help, but..."  
  
"I do know," Ritsu promised. "I know how much I take advantage of Maa-kun's kindness, which is why I tried to look for a different solution until there wasn't any time left. I would never do this to you on purpose, and I'd...considered that saving Anija may very well mean I could lose you. In the end, I couldn't let him go," he whispered, his fingers clenched in Mao's shirt. "And, in doing so, I've out you in an impossible position."  
  
Mao felt a little guilty then because it was obvious that Ritsu _had_ thought about this, and thought about it pretty extensively. Mao could never blame him for choosing to save Rei, because he would do the same for his sister, but Ritsu was right about Mao being caught in the middle now.   
  
He didn't say anything, closing his eyes and pushing his nose into Ritsu's hair.   
  
There wasn't a good solution, but the idea of being caught between leaving and knowing two people he cared a great deal about would suffer and staying while feeling like his only purpose was keeping them alive, that every time he and Ritsu did anything it would have an ulterior motive...it made something unpleasant churn in his stomach.   
  
"You know this wasn't my intention," Ritsu sounded half-asleep. "I never did any of this to deceive you. But I wouldn't resent you if you chose to leave," he shivered again and Mao held him tighter instinctively.   
  
"I just need to think, Ritsu," he ran his hands up and down Ritsu's back, trying to get some warmth into him. "If we...right now, would that help you?"  
  
"Of course. But it's not what you want, and that's why I won't," Ritsu yawned. "Mm, to be honest, I gave Anija...a lot of energy because I didn't want to risk not giving him enough. It there was a next time, I wouldn't end up this weak."  
  
Mao knew he was telling the truth so he didn't press any more, focusing his energy into trying to warm Ritsu up a little because he felt about as cold as Rei had been that morning and it was worrying. "Is this helping?"  
  
"A little," Ritsu kissed his neck. "Sorry. Your smell is more normal now, I just..."  
  
"It's okay," Mao promised. "Right now all I care about is making sure you're fine."  
  
Ritsu nodded, his body still shaking like he couldn't do anything to stop it, and Mao felt helpless. It was bad enough when it was Rei and he couldn't help, but to see _Ritsu_ in the same condition made Mao's decision a lot easier.   
  
"What's easier?" he asked softly. "If I let you bite me or if I...you know," he blushed, still not able to just come out and say it, and Ritsu looked at him blearily.   
  
"You'd do that for me?" he looked surprised. "Why? I don't..."  
  
"Because I love you," Mao said simply, not really needing any other reason in the end. He'd do anything for Ritsu, and if that made him weak, so be it. "What do you want?"  
  
"Biting's easier," he admitted. "But you don't like it and it won't do much for me in the end, not compared to..." he swallowed, his mouth dropping open a bit.   
  
"I'm just not sure if I can...you know...right now," he says softly. "And no offense, but you don't really have the energy to help me out."  
  
"I don't have what now?" Ritsu growled, and while Mao wasn't really intending to bait him, by the time he remembered what a bad idea it was to undermine Ritsu's supernatural strength he was flat on his back again with a very annoyed vampire on top of him. "You want to take that back?"   
  
"You want to prove me wrong?" Mao raised an eyebrow, grinning, and Ritsu let out an annoyed puff of air. His eyes narrowed and he settled himself on top of Mao, upper lip curled back enough to show his fangs.   
  
"If I remember correctly, you seemed to get hard very quickly when I did this last time," he leaned to whisper in Mao's ear, and somehow Mao's wrists were pinned above his head in an iron grip again despite the fact that he couldn't remember Ritsu even moving to do that. "You like this, don't you? Maa-kun loves doing things for others, hmm," he chuckled, and while there was something...dark...about him in that moment, Mao didn't feel threatened.   
  
"Ritsu..." he wasn't even sure what he wanted to say, his breath coming quicker as his body started to respond the same way it had the other night.   
  
"You're so eager to please," Ritsu hummed, pressing his teeth gently against Mao's neck. "You'd do anything I asked, wouldn't you? If I told you to get on your knees and beg you'd be happy to..."  
  
"Oh, fuck...Ritsu, please..." he groaned, trying to rock his hips up and find some friction. He had no idea why he was reacting so strongly to what Ritsu was doing but that wasn't really something he needed to think about in that moment.   
  
"Please what?" Ritsu's free hand slid into Mao's pants - well, Ritsu's pants, technically, since he was still wearing the other man's pajama - fingers curling around his cock without moving.   
  
"Please..." Mao repeated, licking his lips and trying to form some sort of coherent sentence. "Ritchan, please, I need..."  
  
Ritsu started stroking him slowly, his fingers barely grasping Mao's arousal and not giving him nearly enough to be satisfying. "If you don't tell me I'll just keep doing this," he sounded bored, eyes half-closed as he stared at Mao.   
  
Mao bit his lip, breathing harshly. His thoughts were still muddled and it was hard to concentrate on anything other than needing Ritsu to _keep moving his hand_.   
  
"Mm," Ritsu smiled gently at him, leaning to kiss him while his hand started to move faster, and Mao felt relieved that he wasn't teasing anymore. He moaned against Ritsu's lips, hoping the sound would be muffled enough that nobody else would be able to tell what they were up to.   
  
His hips bucked into Ritsu's grasp and he tried to move his arms before remembering that he couldn't.  He was completely at Ritsu's mercy and somehow, again, that thought was far more appealing than it had any right to be.   
  
Ritsu kept kissing him, flicking his wrist in the same way that had made Mao fall apart completely the first time. Mao wanted to say something, to warn Ritsu that he was going to get his pants dirty if he kept this up, but Ritsu broke away from his mouth and latched onto his throat before he could even finish the thought.   
  
His teeth were barely brushing Mao's neck, not enough to break the skin but enough that the threat was still there. "Come on," Ritsu growled.  Mao felt almost helpless to do anything but obey, his body going rigid in Ritsu's hold.   
  
This time the bright flash didn't frighten him as much, partly because he was expecting it and partly because he'd closed his eyes without meaning to. He wasn't sure if it was another bond...thing...but everything just felt like so much _more_ when Ritsu was involved, his orgasms leaving him exhausted and exhilarated all at once.   
  
It was almost overwhelming how wrecked he felt, shaking and sweating and panting like he'd just run a marathon instead of merely having gotten a handjob.   
  
Ritsu made a noise that sounded so pleased Mao had to open his eyes, blinking until his vision cleared enough to see properly. "Mm, thank you."  
  
"For giving you your energy back?" Mao asked, flexing his wrists a little when Ritsu finally let his arms go.   
  
"Well, yes, but you put on a rather appealing show when you come," he chuckled. "I like watching you."  
  
"Uh. Oh," Mao wasn't really sure if that was a _compliment_ since he wasn’t trying to do anything special.  He just couldn't help how much his body instinctively reacted around Ritsu. "I think I ruined your pants," he said then, completely breaking the moment, and Ritsu laughed softly.   
  
"Don't worry about that. And be careful when you sit up, you might feel a little disoriented," he helped Mao into a sitting position and Mao shook his head, hair falling into his eyes. "Okay?"  
  
"I don't think I’ll move for a few minutes but yeah, I'm good," he nodded, leaning against Ritsu and half-closing his eyes. "Did it help?"  
  
"Do you ever think of yourself first?" Ritsu asked, sounding amused. He trailed his fingers through Mao's hair, slow and comforting, and from what Mao could tell he certainly felt warmer.   
  
"You're not one to talk about that," Mao grinned and Ritsu nudged him playfully in response. "I was doing it for you, though."  
  
"I know. And I feel better," Ritsu let his arm drape around Mao's shoulders before he pulled him closer. "I feel like I should tell you that I don't have to do that, though."  
  
"Do what?" Mao asked curiously, since Ritsu was kind of being vague.   
  
"Take your energy. So if you ever just want to, well, have a normal orgasm, just tell me," he offered quietly and Mao leaned closer and nuzzled his neck.   
  
"But then you wouldn't get anything from it, right?"   
  
"Not as much, no, but like I said...I like watching you fall apart," Ritsu murmured, causing Mao to blush and turn his face more into Ritsu's shoulder. "You don't have to be embarrassed."  
  
"It's not that..." Mao mumbled, even though it kind of was. "I was just...never mind,” he sighed.   
  
"Maa-kun, I have eight hundred years of experience with this," Ritsu reminded him. "Whatever you're feeling, I've probably seen it before," he was using that deeper voice again, the one that Mao associated with his vampire side. He knew that Ritsu wasn't going to judge him, of course, but when he got like this sometimes Mao felt like he was talking to a stranger and it made him reluctant to open up as much as he normally would.   
  
It was stupid and he knew it, but the Ritsu he'd known for so many years and the Ritsu that came out when the mood got serious, the one that was older and wiser and more composed, that wasn't _his_ Ritsu and he still wasn't quite sure how to bridge the gap and start thinking of them as the same being.  
  
"Is it...that me being in control turns you on?" he asked then and Mao nodded quickly, still not looking up. "I know. Or I'd figured it out, after the other day," he ran his fingers lightly up Mao's arm, making the younger man shiver. "You don't have to be ashamed of it."  
  
"Can you be my Ritsu again for a second?" he was ashamed of himself for asking but it wasn't as if he could feel any _worse_ about things.   
  
"Huh?" Ritsu sounded confused. "I'm always your Ritsu, Maa-kun," he promised. "Always."  
  
Mao didn't say anything to that, closing his eyes and inhaling because at least Ritsu still _smelled_ the same. Ritsu held him a little tighter, the room silent except for their breathing.   
  
"I need to...uh...I feel gross," Mao sat up, shaking his head and frowning down at the mess on his pants. "Do you mind if I borrow some other clothes?"  
  
"Take whatever you want," Ritsu sounded distant and more than a little disappointed, and while Mao wanted to reassure him that everything was fine...he couldn't do that.   
  
Not at the moment, anyway, so maybe it was better to say nothing at all. 

000

  
"Where'd the others go?"   
  
He was expecting all of UNDEAD to still be there, but when he entered the sitting room only Rei and Kaoru were on the sofa.   
  
"Getting food," Kaoru shrugged. "I think we should all probably eat something...well, unless you've been feeding a certain somebody in a _different_ way..."  
  
Mao didn't even react that time, used to the innuendo by now, and he went to sit on the armchair and leaned his elbows onto his knees.   
  
"Don't tease him, Kaoru-kun," Rei was giving Mao a rather searching look and Mao had a feeling he wouldn't be able to get out of the house without having a conversation with the older Sakuma.   
  
Yeah. He wasn't looking forward to that one.   
  
"Regardless, Adonis-kun suggested dinner and Koga went with him to, in his words, 'make sure he brings back more than meat,'" Rei had a fond smile on his lips. "Kaoru-kun still refuses to let go of me."  
  
"I watched you die in my arms," Kaoru said quietly. "I feel like you'll disappear if I leave."  
  
"I won't," Rei promised, though he hardly looked put off by Kaoru still being there. "How's my brother?" he directed this to Mao, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.   
  
"Good. Uh. Yeah, he's good," Mao knew his voice was too high, though that wasn't a lie. Ritsu hadn't come with him, his face pressed into a pillow and his body curled up defensively on the bed when Mao left the room, and he was trying really hard to force himself not to feel guilty over it.   
  
"Mm. Amazing what human energy can do," Rei kept his tone light but the meaning was impossible to deny. "I should thank you as well, Mao-kun."  
  
"I didn't do anything," Mao shook his head. "Not really."  
  
"Still, without your...contribution...I likely wouldn't be here," he pointed out, and Mao couldn't dispute that.   
  
"You don't have to beat around the bush, Sakuma-san," Kaoru snickered. "All of us here know what that 'contribution' was."  
  
"Indeed," Rei said dryly. "But it's still something I'm inclined to think should be kept private."  
  
"Thanks," Mao cleared his throat, even though he had a feeling Kaoru wasn't going to let it go.   
  
To his surprise, though, the older man changed the subject, looking at Rei curiously. "Hey, I was wondering...if you got it on with somebody you weren't bonded to, would anything happen?"  
  
"Mm?" Rei blinked. "Well, it wouldn't be as effective, though it would likely be enough to sustain me for a while since it would still result in a large expulsion of energy. Why? Are you offering?" he gave Kaoru a rather sultry smile and Mao kind of felt like he should leave the room because there was some _serious_ tension there regardless of how many times Kaoru continued to assert his disinterest in men.   
  
"I was just wondering!" Kaoru protested, much too loudly. "Uh, but I mean, I wouldn't want Isara and your brother to have to do that for you all the time, or to see you how you were this morning again, so I thought..."  
  
"I see. No motives other than wanting to keep me alive," Rei didn't look like he believed it for a second and Mao had seen enough from Kaoru to know that he was just making excuses, as flimsy as they were. "For the record, I wouldn't say no," he added, his tone casual.   
  
"I..."   
  
Whatever Kaoru's reply was, it was cut off by Koga and Adonis coming back with bags of food, Koga complaining profusely about Adonis' diet while the other man was already pulling containers out.    
  
"Koga, go call my brother, would you?" Rei asked sweetly and Koga gave him an unreadable look before muttering under his breath and stomping out of the room.   
  
Mao was grateful, since that meant he didn't have to face Ritsu alone just yet.   
  
Rei was a different matter, but maybe he'd at least wait until Mao was full to corner him.   
  
At least that way he'd have a little more time to think. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. No, the angst isn’t over just yet, but Mao and Ritsu obviously still need to work some things out and now that Rei is okay they’ve got nothing to distract them from it…
> 
> 2\. As always, thank you all so much for the support I’ve been receiving on this fic!


	9. Chapter 9

"Am I going to become your relationship therapist now?"  
  
Mao shook his head, somehow finding it in him to smile a little at the thought that he would even _need_ a relationship therapist. He breathed in the fresh evening air, watching the soft lights spring up around the lake, and turned to walk down a rather sheltered path.   
  
He'd managed to avoid talking to Rei the other night, mostly because his sister had sent him a extremely well-timed text asking him to come home, and since then he hadn't spoken to Ritsu at all even though he felt like an utter coward for it.   
  
But it was the weekend now, and there was a festival in the park, so he was supposed to meet up with the other Trickstar guys again in order to watch the fireworks. At least, that _had_ been the plan, until he'd gotten a text from Arashi asking to talk to him. He'd agreed after a bit of deliberation, deciding that it was probably preferable to dealing with Ritsu directly.   
  
"Now," Arashi stopped beside a bench, sitting down and crossing his legs. "Ritsu-chan doesn't make a habit of asking me for help, so I assume things must be pretty bad for him to admit to needing it."  
  
"How much did he tell you?" Mao folded his arms and shuffled his feet a little.   
  
"Sit," Arashi patted the bench and Mao eventually sat down, thinking that at least Arashi didn't seem like he was _mad_ or anything. But then, Mao had never really seen him get mad, so he wasn't sure what it would look like.  "So.  From what I hear, it seems like there's a...few different things you're dealing with."  
  
"I...I guess, yeah," Mao shrugged. "I mean, between him having this...weird vampire personality, and me feeling like I'm just being used to keep them alive, and..." he paused, not quite sure he wanted to tell Arashi the last part yet. "Yeah," he said again, knowing Arashi would have noticed his hesitation but hoping he wouldn't comment on it.   
  
"Well," Arashi sighed, tilting his head back to look up into the trees above before he regarded Mao seriously. "You know he's not using you. You might be worried about it, but you _know_."  
  
And of course Mao knew, just like he'd known all along, but despite that he couldn't stop the niggling worry.     
  
"I know his feelings toward me are honest, if only because he can't really lie about it," Mao conceded.   
  
"Mm, it's more than that," Arashi gave him a half-smile. "I spent a lot of time with him in high school, you know. His love for you is honest not just because he _can't_ lie about it, but because it just... _is_ ," Arashi looked away from Mao and sighed, and Mao once again wondered just how much he'd misread Arashi for all those years because there was this...sadness there that Mao had never seen in him before.   
  
"I know I should feel lucky," he admitted. "He's never going to fall out of love with me, and that's not something a lot of people have."  
  
"And as for him...having different personalities? Honey, he's not the only one," Arashi sat up straighter and winked, all traces of his sudden melancholy gone entirely. "But I know what you mean. The first time I saw him go all serious it was a little jarring," he hummed thoughtfully. "However, that doesn't change who he is."  
  
"Yeah," Mao agreed vaguely, not saying anything else, and they sat in silence for a while as the night sky got darker and the lights around them kept winking on one by one.   
  
"So? Is there anything else you want my advice on?" Arashi glanced at him, smirking just enough to let Mao know that he certainly believed there _was_ , but this was the one thing Mao was maybe the most ashamed to discuss.   
  
"I don't really know if it's something you can give advice on, but..." Mao glanced down, folding his hands together. "Ritsu and I...he, uh...did...something, one time, that...fuck, I can't," he knew he was probably beet-red and even though he felt comfortable talking to Arashi about Ritsu, there was still a limit and this was going way over it.   
  
"Can you use a hypothetical situation?" Arashi raised an eyebrow and Mao closed his eyes, eventually nodding.   
  
"Is it weird if somebody finds that when their, uh, partner is in control...that it makes them..." he trailed off, because speaking in hypotheticals was useless when Arashi knew what he was referring to anyway.   
  
"Oh, Mao-chan, you're far too innocent," Arashi gave a throaty laugh and Mao bristled a little even though, well, it was true. "No, it's not weird. The way I see it, as long as both of you are consenting and you're able to stop at any point, it's nobody's business but your own what you decide to do in the bedroom."  
  
"So it's okay if I..." he waved his hand, not elaborating any further.   
  
"That you think being submissive to him is arousing?" Arashi reached over to lay his hand on Mao's knee, patting his leg in a way that was probably supposed to be comforting. Mao still kind of felt like Arashi was judging him, but then again, that just might be his own insecurities shining through. "It's perfectly fine, as I said, as long as you're actually the one in control."  
  
And oh. Okay. Yeah, Ritsu had asked him...a lot...if he was okay with it and told him they could stop at any point, and suddenly all of that made more sense. Mao knew instinctively that Ritsu would prioritize his life over anything else, so there was probably nobody in the entire world he should feel safer with.   
  
"I guess I never thought of it like that," he finally said, once the silence between them had stretched out for far too long. "But yeah, looking at it that way..."  
  
"See? Nothing weird about it at all," Arashi lifted his hand away. "Well, it's almost dark, so you'll be wanting to meet up with your boys, right?" his voice was light, but there was that strange undercurrent of sadness there again. Mao wondered if it was new or if it had always been there and he just had never bothered to pay enough attention to Arashi to notice it before. Now that he had, however, he couldn't just ignore it.   
  
"You wanna come with us? It's just fireworks," Mao tried to sound casual about asking. "We can grab some hot chocolates on the way there," he added, standing up and brushing his pants off.   
  
"Are you sure they'd be okay with me being there? I was your enemy in high school," Arashi stood as well, unfurling his long legs and stretching his arms above his head.   
  
"Hey, if you were my enemy, then so was Ritsu," Mao pointed out, which earned him a tiny chuckle. "It's fine. I'd hate to think you came out here for nothing."  
  
"Well, if I was able to help you two out at all, it's not 'nothing,'" Arashi promised. "But I have a rather notorious sweet tooth so if you're trying to seduce me with chocolate, you've found my weakness," he linked his arm through Mao's and Mao headed back toward the main path, feeling far more at ease around Arashi now than he had been before the summer had started.   
  
After all, back then he would have been mortified to have a guy talking about being seduced and walking arm-in-arm with him, but now he didn't think twice about it.   
  
He'd changed a lot in a short amount of time, and if he could get over all of that, getting over his current problems with Ritsu should be easy.   
  
Well, he thought with a sigh as Arashi patted his arm and gave him an encouraging smile, he'd find out in a few hours.   
  
Right now, he was just going to let himself enjoy spending time with his friends.   


000

  
"You're back."

"Yeah. Is he..."

"Do we need to have a discussion or has your talk with Arashi cleared things up?" Rei was smiling just enough for his fangs to be poking past his upper lip and Mao had a feeling he’d already guessed the answer.

He didn't ask how Rei knew he had been with Arashi, but since Rei seemed to know _everything_ , he wasn't even surprised that he did. 

"I think I'm good," Mao promised, trying to slide into the house. He knew it wouldn't be that easy, especially since now that Rei had his energy back he seemed a lot more talkative. 

"I don't blame you for having reservations, you know," Rei moved just enough to let Mao into the entrance. "But you know as well as I do how much he loves you."

"I know," Mao sighed, stopping and shoving his hands in his pockets. "I'm just being stupid, I guess."

"You aren't," Rei shook his head. "I'd be far more concerned if you _didn't_ have these kinds of questions, to be frank. But I hope you know that working through them with Ritsu will be far more effective than running away," he didn't sound disappointed but Mao somehow felt chastised regardless. 

"Yeah," he nodded. "Sometimes I just feel like I need to talk to somebody that's not directly involved," he admitted softly, feeling Rei's gaze on him and glancing up worriedly. 

"I can respect that," Rei finally said. "Admittedly, Ritsu and I have a rather...unique perspective on things, and from what I know of Arashi, he's probably a good person to consult."

Rei's smile was a lot warmer this time and Mao breathed out, letting his body relax a bit. He tensed up again when Rei's hand landed on his shoulder, but all the vampire did was pat his arm gently. 

"I hope you're not afraid of me after all this time, Mao-kun," he chuckled. "I want what's best for my brother, of course, but you're practically family now so I care about your happiness as well."

"Thanks," Mao managed a smile of his own and Rei stepped away a moment later. 

"Well, good night. I'll see you in the morning," Rei raised his hand in a parting wave before heading down the hallway, and it was only when he was almost to Ritsu's own room that Mao realized he hadn't been going in the direction of his coffin but rather toward the guest room. 

He didn't think on it too much, but it was interesting regardless.   


000

  
Ritsu was sleeping - or at least pretending to - when he entered the room, so he stripped down to his boxers quickly and slid into bed behind him. He wrapped his arms around the other man, nuzzling the back of his neck, and Ritsu let out a sleepy grumble. 

"Maa-kun?" he asked, glancing back over his shoulder. "Hey."

"Hi," Mao replied softly, curling his body closer. "I'm sorry, Ritchan."

"No, it's fine," Ritsu sighed, turning back around again. "Natchan talked to you?"

"Yeah. I know I was being an idiot," Mao admitted, sliding his hands under Ritsu's shirt and letting them rest on his stomach. "Is this okay?"

"Of course," Ritsu hummed. "I missed you. I like sleeping with you," he murmured, and Mao felt a sharp stab of guilt at the words. 

"I like sleeping with you, too," he kissed Ritsu's neck and held him a little tighter. "And I really am sorry about what I said the other day. Of course you're always my Ritchan," he whispered, his throat suddenly tight. 

"I am," Ritsu assured him. "But I can't blame you for being taken aback by how I act at times."

"Like now?" Mao asked, keeping his voice light. 

"Should I go back to being sleepy and inconveniencing you all the time?" Ritsu sounded unsure. 

"You were never an inconvenience," Mao murmured, deciding to amend that comment almost immediately. "Or, well, I got used to it after a while, I guess. But that's what I knew you as."

"That's still part of me," Ritsu reminded him, yawning and snuggling into the pillow. "But _every_ part of me is in love with you," he added quietly. 

"I know," the words really didn’t make Mao feel any less guilty; in fact, if anything, he felt _worse_ than before. "I never should have doubted you."

"I forgive you," Ritsu said mildly. "But I think we should maybe...not do anything for a while."

"Huh?" 

"Well," he turned so he was facing Mao, something rather serious in his red eyes. "You've gotten over at least your initial fear of being intimate with another guy...or close to a guy, I guess," he shrugged. "And for the time being my energy levels are fine and my brother...well, his are going to be more than fine soon," he said vaguely. Mao wondered if that had anything to do with Rei sleeping in the guest room but decided, in the end, that he really didn’t need to know.

"So what are you saying?" Mao tilted his head to the side, blinking slowly and trying to figure out where Ritsu was coming from with this. 

"I'm saying that maybe we should leave the physical side of things alone for a bit," he clarified. "At least until you feel completely comfortable with me being...what I am."

Mao’s first reaction was to protest and say that he _was_ comfortable, but both of them would have known he was lying if he did. "Okay," he agreed. "But you have to promise me that the first time we do something again, I get to, uh, explore you like I said I would," he blushed a little now because out of the moment it seemed like an awkward thing to say. 

"I'm not going to refuse that," Ritsu grinned, resting one hand on the curve of Mao's waist and running his thumb along the young man's side. 

"Can I still kiss you?" Mao asked softly. Ritsu hesitated for the briefest of moments before nodding, and when Mao leant in he tried to keep it chaste and as innocent as he could. 

He pressed one hand gently against Ritsu's chest, feeling his heart beating under his palm. Ritsu sighed against his lips, his hand moving to the small of Mao's back to pull him closer. 

They stayed like that for a while, trading soft kisses that stopped just shy of being making out, and Mao realized with a start that he _was_ comfortable with this. It was...nice, really, just to be close to Ritsu. 

"Mm," Ritsu pulled back, looking rather solemn. "I like being with you."

"Huh?" Mao blinked, not sure where this was coming from. 

"Like I told you, most people...it was sex or nothing, so just having somebody I can be close to and spend time with is special," he kissed Mao again and Mao held him a little tighter, running his hands up Ritsu's back underneath his shirt. 

"Was there ever anybody else?" he asked softly, almost unsure if he wanted to know because there was an undoubtedly jealous part of him that wanted to believe he really _was_ the only one Ritsu had ever felt so strongly toward. 

"There was...maybe," Ritsu admitted. "It was two hundred years ago, give or take, and she was barely into her teens...I felt that our bond could be very strong given a few years and some time to develop, but you can imagine how dangerous things were back then, and she..." Ritsu bit his lip and sighed heavily. "I slept for a long time after that. I saw her die and I let myself...you know, a bullet through the heart won't do anything to me, but I let them think they'd gotten me, too, so I could sleep and not have to deal with the pain of losing somebody I was starting to care deeply for," he said all of this in a low voice, his expression unreadable, but Mao could tell how much it was hurting him to remember. 

"I'm sorry," he murmured, clasping Ritsu's hand firmly. 

"Anija had to find me...he said he gave her the best burial he could, and after that I didn't want to talk about it any longer," he closed his eyes and tucked his head under Mao's chin. "That's why I've decided that you're my last. Because if losing somebody that simply had the potential of being important to me affected me so badly, losing you..." he stopped talking, his breath coming in sharp puffs against Mao's neck. 

"It's your choice," Mao finally replied, and as much as he didn't like it, by now he could at least understand where Ritsu was coming from. The last thing he ever wanted was to cause him pain, and it wasn't even vain to say that he was starting to understand just how much pain it _would_ cause Ritsu to let go of him but keep going himself. 

"It is," Ritsu nodded. "And I made it a long time ago."

"I'm gonna try and make things the best they can be for you, then," Mao squeezed his hand, nuzzling his nose into Ritsu's dark hair. 

"I know. You already are," Ritsu sighed, and while Mao knew that wasn't true, it still made him feel good to hear it said. "Did you talk to Natchan about anything else?" he sounded curious now and Mao wondered if he was ever going to get away from that topic. 

"Uh...not really," he mumbled, knowing that it wouldn't work, and Ritsu opened his mouth to let his fangs rest against Mao's neck. Mao knew he wouldn't do anything, but the threat was clear regardless. "Okay, fine, I asked him about, you know, liking you taking control."

"And?" Ritsu pulled back, a grin stretching his lips now. "Natchan's not that innocent, so I think I know what he told you," he gave a low, breathy laugh. 

"Yeah," Mao slid his hand up Ritsu's back again, stroking his skin gently. "He said that as long as I’m the one who's really in control, it's fine."

"And you are. You know that," Ritsu leaned to kiss him, pulling back a little too quickly for Mao's liking. "Sleep?" he asked, snuggling closer. 

"Sleep," Mao agreed with a smile, brushing Ritsu's bangs aside to kiss his forehead. Ritsu let out a happy little hum, wrapping his arms around Mao's waist, and Mao knew that both of them would sleep well tonight.   


000

  
Mao stumbled blearily down to the kitchen the next morning, rubbing his eyes and yawning as he went to get coffee for himself and Ritsu. He blinked when he saw Kaoru already removing a full pot from the coffeemaker, especially since the older man was only wearing an undershirt and boxers and the rather unkempt state of his hair spoke to him having slept over again. 

Which, considering that Rei didn't need him constantly close anymore, was rather suspicious. 

"Hey, Isara," Kaoru glanced over his shoulder and smiled tiredly. "You and baby Sakuma make up yet?"

"I think so," Mao grabbed two cups out of the cupboard, leaning back against the counter and waiting for Kaoru to finish. The other man huffed irritably, blowing his long hair out of his eyes before reaching up to hold it back. The action bared his neck, and Mao blinked a few times because there was a mark there that looked suspiciously like a puncture wound. 

Suddenly, Rei spending the night in the guest bedroom and Ritsu's rather vague comment about Rei's energy levels being 'more than fine' made a _lot_ more sense. 

Kaoru saw him looking and clapped his hand over his neck, his eyes narrowing. "Don't. Say. A word," he hissed, blushing rather deeply. 

Mao shrugged, reaching past him for the coffee pot and filling up the cups, and Kaoru eventually lowered his hand when he seemed content that Mao actually wasn't going to say anything. 

"Well, enjoy your coffee," was all Mao _did_ say before leaving the kitchen with the full cups, though Kaoru calling after him made him stop. 

"You were right. It was...different," he said, mirroring Mao's words from when he'd asked about what being with a vampire was like, and Mao hid his grin behind his cup as he walked back toward Ritsu's room. 

He wasn't a petty person by nature, really, though knowing that Kaoru had no grounds to tease him anymore given that he was in the exact same boat might have left him feeling a _little_ smug.

But only just a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anybody is interested, I did in fact write a Rei/Kaoru companion piece to this fic that would go along with this chapter, and you can find that [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/7501122) :)


	10. Chapter 10

"Did you know that your brother and Kaoru are..."  
  
"I'd suspected," Ritsu sat up in bed when Mao came back with the cups of coffee, stretching his arms over his head and yawning. "But quite frankly I want nothing to do with my brother's sex life, so I'd rather not think about it ever again."  
  
"And you're okay with that?" Mao passed the coffee over, watching Ritsu as he inhaled deeply and took a sip.   
  
"Mm, it's none of my business," Ritsu decided with a tiny shrug. "Though if Anjja has somebody to make his last years more enjoyable, I'm not opposed to it, since it makes me feel a little less guilty that he's staying for me," he added softly, and Mao smiled to himself.   
  
Ritsu shuffled back so he was against the pillows, holding his arm out expectantly. Mao rolled his eyes and climbed onto the bed, curling up against his side and holding his coffee with both hands to make sure none of it spilled. "You can't use the excuse of being cold anymore," he pointed out.   
  
"I shouldn't need excuses to want you close," Ritsu leaned his head against Mao's and sighed. "You know...back when I'd first bonded to you, I thought I'd made a mistake."  
  
"Huh?" Mao blinked, turning to him curiously. "What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Well, after eight hundred years it's fairly easy to notice...patterns. Whether it was personality or looks or something else about them, a lot of times I could pick my bond-mate out of a crowd before I’d even met them properly. With you, it happened so fast I barely had time to react and it was only much later that I started questioning it. I know it's not possible, since the bond is instinctual, but..." he shrugged one shoulder.   
  
"So if the other people you bonded to weren't like me, then who..." Mao frowned, thinking back to the story Ritsu had told him the night before. "That girl...was she..."  
  
"Let's just say that during our second year I was starting to really wonder if my bond had been...misplaced with you," Ritsu said it vaguely but Mao didn't take long to figure it out.   
  
"Anzu?" he asked softly, getting a nod from the vampire. "Is that why you ended up being so close to her?"  
  
"She felt...familiar, I suppose," Ritsu agreed. "I tried to deny it at first but the more I got to know her the more I realized that we could be...I was doubting you back then, and even though once I had her blood I knew she wasn't tied to me in any way, I almost thought it would be easier. There were, admittedly, times when I wished you weren't the one."  
  
Mao didn't say anything to that.  He _couldn't_ , really.  Instead, he just burrowed his face against Ritsu's neck and tried to convey as much warmth and love as he could in the action.   
  
"You've figured out how to do that?" Ritsu sounded a little surprised. Mao glanced up quickly, not entirely sure what Ritsu meant, and found the other man looking at him with wide eyes. "Your emotions..."  
  
"Oh!" Mao sat up a little, steadying the coffee. "It goes both ways?"  
  
"Technically it should since the bond allows us to share whatever we want, but I've never felt it that strongly from you before," he reached out to brush Mao's hair back. "I don't wish that anymore, in case you were wondering."  
  
"I'd kind of guessed," Mao admitted, pressing his lips to Ritsu's quickly.   
  
"You know, I actually think it's a good thing you're not like anybody else," Ritsu smiled and kissed his forehead. "After all, none of those worked out that well, so perhaps what I really needed was somebody unexpected."  
  
"Honestly, a little while ago I probably would have told you that I would have rather you bonded with somebody else, too, but now..." he gave a little half-shrug and sipped at his coffee to hide his blush. "I'm really glad you didn’t."  
  
"I'm glad as well," Ritsu replied, using his real, deeper voice, and Mao forced himself to move closer this time instead of recoiling like he normally did when any hint of the vampire inside Ritsu came to the surface. Ritsu pulled him in and held him tightly, silent for the time being.   
  
Mao let himself get lost in his thoughts, realizing belatedly that, despite his doubts, it was easy to let himself drift around Ritsu. He could feel that Ritsu was still a little tense, his nose buried in Mao's hair, and he leaned his cheek against Ritsu's shoulder and kissed his neck.   
  
"Hey, I was thinking...the festival at the park is on all week, so do you want to come with me to the fireworks tonight?" he asked, trying to make his voice as bright as possible.   
  
"Are you asking me on a date?" Ritsu sounded amused, letting out a low chuckle.   
  
"If you want to think of it that way," Mao shrugged. "Is that a problem?"  
  
"Mm, nobody's ever done that before," he murmured, tilting his head to the side.   
  
"Ever?" Mao was honestly a little surprised by that, since even though Ritsu's personality could be...trying at times, physically he was rather attractive.   
  
"I suppose eight hundred years without any offers is pretty pathetic, hmm?" he trailed his fingers along Mao's arm, smiling a little.   
  
"You can't say that anymore, though, since I just asked you out," Mao sat up a little and had another drink from his coffee cup. "So? Wanna come see the fireworks with me, Ritchan?" he held out his hand.   
  
"Are those annoyingly loud ex-unit members of yours going to be there?" Ritsu wrinkled his nose and Mao tried to keep from laughing at his reaction.  
  
"I mean, we didn't make any plans to meet up again, but they might still be around," he admitted. There wasn't much else to do in the summer, after all, so if the was a festival in town there was a pretty good chance most everybody would be there. "Is that an issue?"  
  
"I'm sure I can manage," Ritsu heaved a dramatic sigh and finally took Mao's hand.   
  
"Great. Though if I'll be out again tonight I should probably spend the day with my family," he admitted, running his thumb absently over Ritsu's knuckles.   
  
"Go ahead. I'll just sleep anyway," Ritsu shrugged, and Mao figured that was probably true. Even though Ritsu had a bit more energy these days, sleeping still seemed to be his biggest priority.   
  
"Okay," Mao stood up and stretched, grabbing his shorts and pulling them on. "I'll see you later," he waved and took his coffee, finishing it as he went back to the kitchen.   
  
He was a little surprised to see Rei there alone, seated at the table and reading a newspaper. With his hair tied back and reading glasses over his eyes he looked like he'd stepped out of another era, and it continued to amaze Mao just how quickly both he and his brother could shift their looks and attitudes depending on the situation.   
  
"Good morning, Mao-kun," Rei didn't look up, turning a page idly. "Are you off?"  
  
"Yeah, but Ritsu and I are gonna head to the festival later tonight," he added, rinsing out the cup and placing it in the sink. "Where's Kaoru?"  
  
"He had a date," Rei said the words vaguely but Mao could hear a tiny bit of hurt within them that wasn't fully disguised.   
  
It was none of his business, not really, but he felt almost... _angry_ at Kaoru for going out with a girl after everything. He doubted a thousand-year-old vampire needed his concern and he knew that Rei could take care of himself…though, maybe it was like Rei had said to him the night before: he thought of Mao as family, and Mao was starting to see him the same way.   
  
"So he just..."  
  
"It was planned long before our impromptu rendezvous last night, so he tells me," Rei's voice was almost scarily calm now. "And I have no claim on him. Even _if_ we were bonded, I'd have no claim on him. It's the same for you, you know," he shrugged.   
  
"Yeah, Ritsu told me," Mao admitted, leaning on the counter. "But I could never do that to him, not knowing how he feels about me."  
  
It was more than that, of course, because at this point Mao wouldn't even _want_ to be with anybody else, but he honestly wasn't sure he could have done it even if that hadn't been the case.   
  
"You're a generous and thoughtful boy, Mao-kun. Not everybody is like that," Rei sighed and folded the paper up. "I'm sure I'll see you tonight."  
  
"You can come with, if you want," Mao suggested, figuring he should ask to be polite.   
  
"No," Ritsu swept into the kitchen with his own coffee cup, setting it down rather loudly on the counter. "He's not coming on our date."  
  
"Ritsu," Mao rolled his eyes, wondering if Ritsu would ever give up this rather childish attitude toward his brother when they all knew it wasn't genuine in the least.   
  
"Fine. But if he comes, I'm pretending I don't know him," Ritsu sniffed, leaving just as quickly as he had come in.   
  
"My brother's so cute," Rei smiled, but it held none of the warmth he usually gave off when talking about Ritsu. "And I don't want to be a third wheel to the two of you. I'll be fine," he promised.   
  
Mao nodded, knowing it was probably useless to change his mind.  When he took a glance over his shoulder as he left the kitchen he saw that Rei was holding his glasses loosely in one hand, the other pressed over his eyes like he was trying to contain some sort of strong emotion.   
  
Leaving Rei like that went against every instinct in his body that compelled him to help people who needed it, but right now, he knew there was nothing he could do.   
  
It didn't make him feel any better to admit it, though.   


000

  
"Isara-dono?"

"Huh?" Mao turned quickly, hearing Ritsu give a rather over-exaggerated groan at his side. 

Rei hadn't been anywhere in sight when Mao had gone back to pick Ritsu up for the evening, which probably meant he was in his coffin, and Mao had told himself to not dwell on it and try to have fun tonight. 

It was Ritsu's first date, yeah, but technically it was...kind of _his_ , too, so he really should make sure it was special.

So far they hadn't run into anybody they knew, which he could tell Ritsu was rather happy about, but apparently that streak of luck had run out. 

"Isara-dono!" 

"Woah, hey!" Mao had to grab the boy's arm as he almost rocketed by, slowing his momentum and laughing at the obvious enthusiasm there. "It's good to see you, Sengoku," he said as Ritsu grumbled something about, "do you know _everyone_?" beside him. 

"Forgive me! I had not yet realized you were back in the area, or I would have greeted you more promptly!" he fluttered his hands and Mao was worried he was going to fall on the ground as a gesture of apology or something equally attention-drawing so he reached out to hold Shinobu's arm and keep him upright. 

"It's fine! I didn't really make a big deal about it," Mao studied the young man in front of him.  While Shinobu would never be tall, he'd hit a bit of a growth spurt in the past year and wasn't quite as small as he had been. "Are you here alone?"

"Yuta-kun and his brother are here as well," Shinobu glanced around. "I should find my way back to them before the show begins."

"Well, it's good to see you," Mao reached to pat the top of his head, causing Shinobu to blush and mumble something about 'not growing properly,' although he seemed rather pleased. "How's school?"

"Ah! That reminds me: I wanted to ask if you would be willing to attend a performance this coming weekend? We have been tasked to sing at the final night of the festival and I would be honoured if you were to come," he bowed a little before straightening and clearing his throat. "It is to be a joint performance with Knights," he added, looking cautiously at Ritsu, though the vampire just shrugged.

"And?"

"Ah, I had thought, as a former member of such a powerful unit, you would like to see how your junior was faring in your absence, just as Taichou-dono and Shinkai-dono are doing by attending ours. Forgive me if that assumption was incorrect!" he looked at the ground again and Mao caught his arm pre-emptively. 

"I'd love to come see you perform," Mao assured him. "And I'll drag this guy with me, too," he elbowed Ritsu, getting a growl in return. "Ryuseitai's doing well, then?"

"We are! A couple of first year students have joined us now and...well, I suppose it was fortunate three of us were the same age so at this stage performing as a unit is familiar territory. But our juniors have not had much experience so this will be a good opportunity for them," he explained, puffing out his chest a little and looking proud. 

"And Knights?" he asked, because Ritsu didn't seem inclined to at all. 

"Suou-kun is working hard, from what I have heard, but it is difficult for him to lead things as the only returning member," Shinobu admitted, shuffling his feet. "I may be out of line to say this, but I believe he would appreciate the support of his old unit members."

"Whatever. Call Natchan or something, he'll probably go," Ritsu sniffed, and Shinobu looked more dejected than ever. 

"We're going," Mao said firmly, glancing around because people were starting to gather on the grassy expanse opposite the lake and he noticed the sky was almost dark. "But you should find the twins if you want to watch the fireworks with them."

"I shall. See you this weekend, Isara-dono!" he waved and ran away, arms held straight out behind him.  Mao shook his head and looked after him fondly. 

Not that he'd ever had a little brother, but he kind of thought of Shinobu as one, and it was amazing to see how far he'd come from the shy and withdrawn young boy he'd met only a couple of years before. 

"Can we find a spot now?" Ritsu had two blankets slung over his arm and he managed to spread one on a clear patch of grass, sitting down and pulling his knees to his chest. "Why'd you promise I'd be there?"

"Because he's right," Mao frowned. "Did you even know this was happening?"

"I haven't talked to Suu-chan since school ended," Ritsu replied tersely. "And I haven't talked to Secchan and Ou-sama for longer than that."

"And you only spoke to Arashi because of me, right?" Mao sat down beside him, not making any move to shift closer. "Ritsu, I can't be the only person you ever spend time with."

"Why not? You're all I've ever needed," Ritsu looked at him and blinked slowly. 

"Because it's..." Mao sighed, not wanting to get into this here. He rarely got mad at Ritsu, but this was something he couldn't understand.  He knew for a fact that Ritsu closing himself off to everybody except for him wasn't good for him. "Never mind."

"Maa-kun's mad at me," Ritsu pouted, pulling his knees in even tighter. "I don't think I like dates if all that happens is we get interrupted and you get mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Ritchan," he let his hand rest on Ritsu's arm. "I just know that you enjoyed spending time with the rest of Knights, especially by the end, so why are you not even making an attempt to stay in contact?"

"Because the more people I get close to the more it hurts to lose them all," Ritsu snapped, baring his teeth, and Mao recoiled a little at the vehemence of his response. "I thought you would have known that by now."

"Ritsu," Mao leaned against him, trying to do that whole ‘emoting calmness’ thing again. "You're only hurting yourself."

"Better this than the alternative," Ritsu's voice was quieter this time, at least. "I let myself get close for a couple of years, because I really did enjoy...everything, but now it's time to leave it behind."

Mao wasn’t really satisfied with that answer.  There _had_ to be a better way, and after a few long moments of racking his brain, he thought he might have something. 

"You said I'm your last," he started.  Honestly, he didn't really want to talk about this again, but it was his best chance of getting Ritsu to change his mind. 

"Yes. And?"

"So you don’t have to worry about losing people anymore. This is it, Ritchan. This is your _last lifetime_ ," he lifted Ritsu's arm and snuggled under it, pulling the spare blanket around them both. "So don’t you think you owe it to yourself to enjoy it as much as you can?"

"I..." Ritsu blinked, head turning sharply to look at Mao. "Huh. I suppose I'd never thought of it like that before. Maybe there's a reason I allowed myself to get close to them in the first place," he sounded thoughtful. 

"Call Arashi, at least, if you don't feel up to anything else," Mao urged softly, and Ritsu eventually gave a slow nod. 

"Hmm, will Maa-kun praise me if I do?" he was grinning now and Mao rolled his eyes. 

"As much as you want," he promised, curling against Ritsu's chest and looking up in surprise as the loud crack of a firework going off resounded over the lake. 

Ritsu kissed his forehead, his arms tight around Mao's body, and Mao was kind of glad it was dark so nobody else could really see how close they were. 

As first dates go, it probably wasn't very good, but he really should have expected things to not go smoothly considering the track record he and Ritsu generally had. 

They've made progress tonight, though, and he's glad for it. 

"You're thinking too much. Just enjoy this," Ritsu urged, and Mao leaned back against him and knew that, at least for the moment, he finally could.   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I keep making things difficult for Rei, but I hope you all aren't _too_ mad at Kaoru for...doing what he did...  
> 
> 
> 2\. I've never written Shinobu before (despite him actually being one of my favorite boys) so that was fun!  
> 
> 
> 3\. Not much else to say this time around, but as always thank you for the comments and support :)


	11. Chapter 11

"I know we're taking things slow, but out of curiosity...would you ever want to fuck me?"  
  
Mao nearly choked on his toothbrush at that, inhaling and getting a throat full of toothpaste that made him start coughing. His eyes were watering by the time he finally got himself under control, one hand clutching his shirt like that would help the coughing fit end quicker.   
  
"Bad timing?"  
  
"Yeah," he rasped, swallowing and reaching for a glass of water to swirl some around his mouth and get the toothpaste flavour out.   
  
"Sorry," Ritsu didn't look particularly sorry, leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets. "But would you?"  
  
"You can't just...spring that sort of thing on a person, Ritchan!" he protested, feeling like his cheeks were on fire.   
  
"But would you?" Ritsu repeated the words like he hadn't even spoken and Mao looked in the mirror to see what Ritsu's expression was before remembering that...didn't work and flinching at the shadowy shape with glowing red eyes that was reflected behind him. "Don't," Ritsu's hands were suddenly over his eyes and Mao took a shuddery breath, leaning back against the vampire. "Sorry. I shouldn't have come in here."  
  
"No, it's okay," Mao kept his eyes closed even as Ritsu pulled his hands away, wrapping his arms around Mao's waist instead. He finally squinted his eyes open and, now that he knew what to expect, seeing Ritsu's reflection wasn't quite as startling anymore. "I've mostly made peace worth the fact that you're..."  
  
"What I am?" Ritsu sounded amused, his lips pressing against the back of Mao's neck. "I'm glad, if that's true. I obviously can't _change_ who I am, so if you can accept all of me that will make this a lot easier," he admitted.   
  
"I'm getting there," Mao promised, setting one hand on top of Ritsu's and holding it tightly.   
  
"You didn't answer my question," Ritsu reminded him, and while Mao had kind of been hoping Ritsu would have forgotten about that, he really knew better than to expect it.   
  
"I thought you wanted to fuck me?" he said instead, which was hardly an answer, but he could almost feel Ritsu's excitement at the words alone.   
  
"Oh, I do. And judging by how hard you got when I mentioned it, I think you'd like that as well," he teased, rolling his hips and making Mao let out a tiny whimper.   
  
Because he _does_ want it. He never thought he'd be excited for a guy to fuck him, but somehow the fact that it was Ritsu made the entire thing far more appealing.   
  
Ritsu let out a low chuckle at his reaction, kissing Mao's shoulder this time. "But I think it would be easier to do things the other way to begin with.”  
  
"Easier how?" Mao leaned back a little more, letting Ritsu hold up some of his weight.   
  
"Well, the first time...it's going to hurt. That's fairly unavoidable, and you're going to be anxious and probably won't be able to maintain an erection the entire time. Since my arousal is directly tied to yours, if you're not hard..." he trailed off, but Mao knew what he was getting at.   
  
"Yeah. That's not going to work," Mao swallowed, because even hearing _that_ from Ritsu was making him anxious. "It, uh...it'll hurt?"  
  
"Hopefully not much with proper preparation, but it's still putting a rather large object in a place that's not meant for it," he pointed out, which made sense. "But once you get past the initial discomfort, it'll be worth it."  
  
"So do I have to, uh, prepare you?" he asked softly, since that wasn't really something he'd put a lot of thought into before. "I don't..."  
  
"No," Ritsu's lips trailed up his neck again. "Which is another reason why it'll be easier to do it the other way. I'm made of shadows, after all, so my body will just...adjust, and I don't have blood or pain receptors, really, so it's not like you can hurt me," he explained, and while that made everything sound so clinical, Mao could appreciate why it would be better for a first time. "Plus, vampire and human biology aren't really the same, so there's no need for protection since we can't transfer anything to each other."  
  
"Ritsu," he murmured. "You're doing it again."  
  
"Ah...oh," Ritsu laughed. "Maa-kun, I want you to fuck me," he whined, and Mao couldn't help but laugh. "Better?"  
  
"I've accepted that you've got a bunch of personalities, but I still like to know that side of you is there," he tilted his head a little so they could kiss. "But I know you're all mine."  
  
"Of course I am," Ritsu hummed, licking at Mao's lips until he opened his mouth and let the vampire deepen the kiss.   
  
"But," Mao broke away, smirking a little. "Not until after the weekend. And not unless you call Arashi and set up meeting the rest of Knights for the concert."  
  
"Maa-kun is so mean to use sex as a bargaining chip," Ritsu pouted, his fangs brushing Mao's neck and making him shiver.   
  
"Because I know you'll actually do it then," Mao countered. "And it'll be good for you, anyway."  
  
Ritsu made a noise that told Mao he wasn't convinced, but he was pretty sure both of them knew Ritsu would be better off if he actually kept in contact with other friends.   
  
"They know about you, right?" he figured it was better to ask so he didn't say something without realizing it, but from Ritsu's utter silence at the words he was guessing the answer was actually 'no.' "Ritsu..."  
  
"I told you I didn't let myself get close to anybody," he cleared his throat. "Natchan seeing my reflection wasn't planned, and while I'm pretty sure Ou-sama knows because of my brother, that's it."  
  
"You can trust them," Mao, admittedly, didn't know a whole lot about Knights outside of Ritsu and Arashi, but obviously they weren't bad people. "Rei did with UNDEAD, after all."  
  
"That was his choice," Ritsu's voice was cold again, but Mao didn't want to drop the subject this time.   
  
"Obviously, but this could be yours. Do you think they'll judge you?" he asked honestly and Ritsu sighed heavily.  
  
"Secchan puts up with Ou-sama so he'll probably be able to handle it, and Suu-chan might not believe me at first but I think he'd come around," he admitted after a few moments of silent debate. "But I do...care about them, so that makes it harder to tell them in case they _don't_ accept it."  
  
"I get that," Mao reached for his hand and squeezed it. "But you'll feel better about being honest."  
  
"And then you'll fuck me, right?" Ritsu's voice turned plaintive and whining again and Mao had to laugh at the sudden switch.   
  
"Yeah. I promise."  


000

  
He wasn't sure what prompted him to go to the beach the next morning, but Ritsu had been complaining so loudly about calling Arashi until Mao had told him with no uncertainty that if he didn't have it done by the time Mao came back their weekend bedroom plans were off, which seemed to make him a lot more motivated to comply.   
  
Still, Mao wanted to give him a bit of time, and when he hopped down onto the sand and saw a very tell-tale figure seated with a surfboard beside him, he suddenly knew why he'd been drawn there.   
  
He'd barely seen Rei since the day Kaoru had dumped him to go out with that girl, though Ritsu assured him that the older vampire was taking care of himself because their supply of tomato juice was decreasing at a steady pace, but Mao knew he wouldn't be sulking in his coffin if he wasn't actually really hurt over what had happened.   
  
And it still wasn't his place to say anything, probably, but at least he was in about the same boat as Kaoru so maybe he could help sort through some of what had made the other man run.   
  
"Hey, Isara," Kaoru barely looked as Mao settled himself on the sand beside him. "Come to yell at me?"  
  
"Nah," Mao glanced sideways. Judging from the shadows under his eyes and the lank way his hair was hanging, Kaoru hadn't been taking care of himself, and that more than anything told Mao that he was probably beating himself up enough over this without Mao himself adding fuel to the fire.   
  
"How is he?" Kaoru asked quietly, staring ahead at the ocean.   
  
"He's mostly been in his coffin," Mao admitted. "I haven't seen much of him, to be honest."  
  
"Fuck. You must think I'm an asshole, huh?" Kaoru shook his head. "I did have a date...I mean, I set it up before, but as soon as I got to the restaurant I couldn't do it. I didn't stand her up because that would be rude, but I...pretended I was sick so I could leave," he laughed. "I probably _would_ have gotten sick if I'd have tried to do something with her, anyway..."  
  
"I'm not judging you," Mao promised, and he can hear how much this is bothering Kaoru by the way his voice is wavering. "But you hurt him, you know?"  
  
"I didn't want that," Kaoru said sadly. "I never wanted to...I care about him. I don't know if I can call it more than that right now, but..."  
  
"So what's stopping you?" Mao asked, although if Kaoru was anything like himself - and he knew there were more than a few similarities there - he could already guess some of it.   
  
"I'm..." Kaoru sighed. "It's not easy to explain, but the biggest thing is that...I like to play the field, you know? I hate being tied down by relationships because I know with my family that one day it's going to happen, so I want to explore as much as I can while I have the freedom to do it. And with him...that's _it_. It's _forever_ , and that fucking terrifies me."  
  
And Mao could understand that. He didn't have as much of an issue with it since after putting up with Ritsu for over ten years, he knew that he could easily be with him for the rest of his life and not feel trapped or obligated to stay, but Kaoru had probably never looked at Rei as a viable option until a few days ago and to go from that to forever was a big jump.   
  
"And that's not even...really it's all on you," Kaoru finally looked at him directly and Mao blinked, not sure what he meant by that. "If something happens to you...his brother goes, and then he goes, and then I'm alone," he laughed bitterly, breaking eye contact with Mao and staring at the sea again. "He wouldn't stay for me."  
  
"I can’t promise something won't happen to me, since nobody really knows what the future will bring," Mao lifted a hand and carefully let his fingertips rest against Kaoru's shoulder. "But you have to figure out if you'll regret it more not to give what you guys could have a chance or if you'll really be fine to let what-ifs decide for you."  
  
"It's not just that," Kaoru said, reaching to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. "My father would never approve of me being with a man. I'm still not sold on the idea myself, you know, but I figure sticking your dick into anything feels good, so....  
  
"Ew,” Mao wrinkled his nose, because he did _not_ need to know that...but between Kaoru's rather defensive stance of his heterosexuality and Ritsu's explanation about how much easier it was for a vampire to be on the receiving end, it didn't surprise Mao that it happened that way.   
  
"You mean, you and baby Sakuma haven't..." Kaoru blinked before starting to laugh. "Ah, sorry dude, I just assumed."  
  
"Yeah. Well," Mao was staring rather intently at the sand now, waiting for Kaoru to get his mirth under control. "I mean, I understand about your family. My parents really only seem to care about my sister so they probably wouldn't even react if I told them I had a boyfriend."  
  
"You're lucky," Kaoru sighed. "The reason I kind of bend the rules so much is because outside of the house is the only time I _can_ , you know? I mean...if I'm being honest, being with Rei...uh, I mean, Sakuma-san...it was good. Really good."  
  
"I can't tell you what to do," Mao patted his shoulder before pulling his hand away. "But I think you want it, and if it was me...well, it kind of _was_ me, not that long ago, but I don't regret any of it. And Rei's a little easier to deal with than Ritsu," he added with a chuckle, because that wasn't really something _anybody_ could dispute.   
  
"I want to make things right, anyway. I can't say more than that right now," Kaoru looked determined, his hand coming up to touch the still-visible bite mark on his neck. His eyes fluttered closed as his fingers brushed over it, like he was losing himself in a memory, and Mao spoke without thinking why he shouldn't.   
  
"What did it feel like? To have him bite you," he clarified, and Kaoru glanced at him.   
  
"You've never...fuck, how did we manage to do more in one night than the two of you have done in _weeks_?" Kaoru looked genuinely surprised and Mao thought that he probably had a right to be, given that by all accounts he and Ritsu _were_ moving pretty slowly.   
  
It was enough for now, but Mao had to admit to himself that he would be okay with more...even if the idea of being bitten still made him rather nervous.   
  
"It was..." Kaoru sighed, looking thoughtful. "I've never felt as _close_ to somebody as I did when he was, y'know, drinking my blood," he chuckled rather ruefully. "It didn't really hurt, or maybe that's just because I was too overwhelmed to register if it did, but it was amazing."  
  
He said it so honestly that Mao knew he was telling the truth, and from the little he could remember about Ritsu biting him it _had_ felt good...before he'd passed out from blood loss, of course, so that was kind of preventing him from trying it again. "How did he know when to stop?"  
  
"I dunno. Instinct?" Kaoru shrugged. "It was only for a few seconds."  
  
That wasn't very helpful, but presumably if Ritsu wasn't starving he wouldn't have gone so overboard with Mao that day.   
  
"Anyway, if you guys ever get past hand-holding I'd recommend it," he was teasing now, obviously, since he knew damn well that the energy needed to save Rei's life had come from a lot more than 'hand-holding.'  Mao sighed and stood up, stretching out his back. "I'm gonna make this right, Isara," Kaoru promised, looking up at him. "Whatever we end up being, he's too important to me for me to treat him the way I did."  
  
"Ritsu and I will be out of the house Saturday night," he mentioned idly, seeing Kaoru sit up a little straighter at the words. "I'm not trying to push you into anything, but you know, if you want to talk to him..." he left it at that, turning around and making his way back over the sand.   
  
Maybe he was meddling too much, but if it helped...well, he could tell just from talking to Kaoru where the other man's heart was trying to lead him.   
  
Now he just had to realize that for himself.   


000

  
"You're here!" Arashi grabbed his arm and led him into the house, guiding him to the parlour.   
  
Mao could hear the piano, sporadic notes that held none of the grace or emotion that Ritsu normally played with, and he wondered briefly what was going on before he saw a veritable storm of papers strewn over the piano and the floor around it.   
  
"It’s good you showed up now. I think Ritsu-chan is losing his patience," Arashi wrapped his arms around Mao's waist and leaned onto his shoulder, whispering in his ear. It would have bothered Mao at one time, probably, but he'd come to realize that Arashi was a rather physical person and now that he wasn't quite so anxious about the idea of other guys touching him, he didn't mind it.   
  
Ritsu indeed looked near the end of his (admittedly very short) rope, his fingers clutching the end of the piano and his teeth bared.   
  
"Ou-sama, could you _please_ have some regard for the property of others? This is a centuries-old piano," Ritsu growled, though his rather menacing presence seemed to have no effect at all on the red-haired man scribbling something on a piece of paper as he knelt by the piano bench.   
  
"A-minor chord, Rittsu," he directed, waving a hand in the air, and Ritsu rolled his eyes but played the required chord. "Mm, try the seventh...perfect!"  
  
This was followed by more scribbling and Ritsu growled under his breath, staring down at the shorter man with obvious annoyance.   
  
"Seriously, Kuma-kun, you can't drop the news of being some sort of immortal vampire on us and expect him not to get some sort of writing inspiration," the man sitting in the armchair looked indescribably bored, but from what Mao knew of Izumi, that was almost expected.   
  
"He told them?" he asked Arashi, a little surprised. Getting a hold of Arashi was one thing, but actually trusting the rest of them to know his secret was far more progress than Mao would have expected of Ritsu in only a few days.   
  
"Mm. Izumi-chan pretended not to care and Ou-sama decided he needed to write a song," Arashi replied, which seemed about as expected.   
  
"Maa-kun, save me," Ritsu looked back and whined, and Leo immediately stopped writing and looked up. "Can we go now?"  
  
"We should, if we want to make it in time for the concert," Mao nodded.  Ritsu immediately stood up, closing the cover over the piano keys.   
  
"Let's go, Ou-sama," Izumi grabbed Leo's arm and dragged him to his feet, gathering up a few of the clean pieces of paper. "You can keep writing there if you need to."  
  
"Ah..." Leo tapped his chin with the pen he was using, finally nodding and heading for the door. "Come on! I want to make sure Suo~ is treating my Knights properly. Well. His Knights," he amended, looking proud, and Izumi grumbled something under his breath before guiding Leo through the door.   
  
"And you wanted me to call them," Ritsu sighed dramatically, shaking his head as he passed by. He was smiling, though, and Mao knew he really did enjoy being around the others, as...unique as they were.   
  
"This is good for him. Thank you," Arashi let go of him and Mao nodded, following the taller man out of the room and closing the door behind him.   
  
He wasn’t going to take full credit for Ritsu deciding to become more social, but he also knew he had at least a _little_ to do with it.   
  
The door to the room holding Rei’s coffin was closed when they passed by it, and while he hadn't heard from Kaoru since the day on the beach, he really hoped the other man did the right thing and showed up tonight.   
  
They’d find out later, he supposed.   
  
Until then, there was nothing else he could do. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully some of Kaoru's motivations for doing what he did are a little clearer after this chapter! I don't have much to say, but thank you all as always for the comments and support :)


	12. Chapter 12

The rest of Knights collectively decided not to tell Tsukasa they were there until after the concert, so Mao left them in the audience and went to go find Shinobu and Midori, having to keep the former from bowing to the ground again when Shinobu spotted him.

"Isara-dono! I am deeply honoured you have chosen to take time out of your no-doubt busy day to see our performance!" he settled for bowing from the waist and Mao grinned, feeling that familiar nervous excitement in his stomach from being backstage. Even if he wasn't performing this time, the energy was the same, and he knew it was going to be a good show. "Our junior members are rather anxious as this is to be their first large concert, but we all hope to impress you!"

"I'm sure you will," Mao ruffled his hair, getting a half-hearted glare and a blush in return. "I mean, you've got three veterans on your side, right?" he looked up at Midori, who seemed like he'd gotten even taller in the last few months.

"Well, true enough," he sighed, although Mao knew by now that if Midori had really hated being an idol as much as he pretended to all the time, he would have quit long ago.

"We shall do our utmost to perform to the best of our abilities," Shinobu puffed out his chest, looking undeniably proud, and Mao wished them both luck before heading back. He tried to keep out of sight of Tsukasa, skirting around the end of the stage and jogging back to where Ritsu and the others were waiting.

Leo was currently using Izumi's back as a substitute writing desk, bracing the paper with one hand and scribbling with his other while Izumi complained loudly the entire time.

"Isara!"

"Bouch- Chiaki," he corrected himself, since Chiaki wasn't really his team leader anymore, but he couldn't say anything else before Chiaki bodily hugged him, lifting him off the ground.

And yeah. He remembered that.

"You came! My little Ryusei Yellow was excited to have you watch!" he spun Mao around and eventually set him down, and Mao laughed and rubbed the back of his neck, still not entirely comfortable with Shinobu's fervent hero-worship of him.

"By the way..." Kanata peered out from around Chiaki's back, walking slowly over and looking at Mao closely. "I've heard from Rei that he is having a bit of...'trouble' with Kaoru," he murmured, his eyes flickering to Ritsu and then back to Mao, a knowing smile spreading across his lips that had Mao immediately feeling like all of his secrets had just been exposed.

He was pretty sure Rei wouldn't have told anybody about him and Ritsu, but maybe Kanata was far more perceptive than Mao had assumed.

"You know about his 'condition'," Kanata stepped closer and lowered his voice so Chiaki couldn't hear. "And I know Kaoru well enough to know he will be 'difficult' about this," his voice was languid and strangely rhythmic, slow and thoughtful. "Would you like me to 'talk' to him?"

The way he said 'talk' made Mao suspicious that talking was all he would actually do, but what this did more than anything else was tell Mao just how much more of a social creature Rei was than Ritsu. Mao knew his circle of friends was larger, of course, but compared to Ritsu who wouldn't even tell his own _unit_ about him being an actual vampire, Rei had let a lot more people in on the secret than Mao had first assumed.

"I think they'll be okay," Mao admitted. "I ran into Kaoru on the beach the other day," he added, and Kanata nodded.

"That is good to hear. I wish them both 'happiness,'" he hummed, swaying from side to side like his body was caught in some sort of ocean current. "If you ever need someone to have a 'discussion' with Kaoru, however, don't hesitate to 'contact' me," he added, and Mao nodded.

"Thanks," he said honestly, though he was cut off by Chiaki deciding to lift him up again, diverting Mao's attention by asking him about university.

They talked for a while until the show started, Mao looking sideways to see that Ritsu was actually smiling and chatting with the rest of Knights like he hadn't been avoiding calling them for months.

It might have made him jealous once, but now he just wanted to be sure Ritsu was living what was left of his life to the fullest.

Besides, Ritsu's feelings for him would never change, and that knowledge was enough to sweep all of his doubts away.

And he was glad for it.

000

He ended up getting food with them afterward, Tsukasa looking close to tears once they surprised him on the stage (though Mao had to admit it was more than a little funny how horrified the new members of Knights had looked at seeing the rest of the old unit) and then quickly agreeing to spending the rest of the night together.

Mao had tried to slip away, wanting to give them time as a unit, but Arashi had caught his arm before he could.

"You let me hang around with your Trickstar boys the other night, so it would be rude to exclude you," he wrapped an arm around Mao's shoulders and nobody seemed inclined to protest, so Mao shuffled along after them and tried not to feel like an outsider.

The truth, he soon realized, was that Knights weren't nearly as intimidating as he'd always thought, and despite their units mostly being rivals they didn't seem to hold any sort of resentment toward him.

He still was a little wary of Izumi, mostly for Makoto's sake, but Tsukasa was unfailingly polite and by the time Leo started using his back to scribble notes a few times when he was the closest one he was feeling a little more comfortable.

"They're kind of a mess, aren't they?" Arashi looked wistful and while Mao had to agree...he could see that they were the sort of mess that ended up working out perfectly in the end. "Really, thank you for getting him to come out."

"I'm just happy he's enjoying himself," Mao admitted, grinning when Ritsu came over and leaned on his shoulder. "Tired?"

"It's nighttime," Ritsu yawned, shaking his head. "I should be fine."

"I'm proud of you, Ritchan," he murmured, feeling Ritsu smile against his neck.

"Maa-kun makes me work so hard to please him," he whined, and Mao wrapped an arm around his waist and laughed into his hair.

They stay for the final night of the fireworks, Leo sprawled across Izumi's lap now and using Tsukasa as a reluctant table as he lay on a blanket on the grass. Izumi glanced over at them and Mao flinched back a bit at the icy blue of his gaze.

"Hey, don't start, like, making out in the dark and leaving the rest of us feeling lonely, okay?" he smiled a little to take the sting out of his words, prompting Leo to start loudly discoursing about vampires and humans falling in love and how beautiful and tragic a story it could be until Izumi hushed him and he went back to writing.

"We should do it just to annoy him," Ritsu leaned close and Mao gave him a quick peck on the lips, not willing to go any farther in public. Ritsu sighed and curled up with his head under Mao's chin, pulling another blanket over himself and snuggling into it. "Mm, Natchan, c'mere," he called, and Arashi glanced over at them.

He was seated at the edge of the blanket, arms wrapped around his knees like he was trying to close himself off.

"You're usually the one being annoyingly clingy," Izumi commented with a sniff, and Arashi eventually slid closer, letting out a little murmur of surprise when Ritsu yanked him down to lie on the blanket beside him.

"What's up, Naru?" Leo crawled out of Izumi's lap to flop on Arashi, leaning their foreheads together and lying completely still. Arashi sighed, eyes half-closed, and Mao watched them curiously because this was the first time he was starting to understand why they all bestowed the 'King' title on Leo so easily.

Maybe it was an extension of him being able to feel Ritsu's emotions, but there was something undeniably noble and compelling about the aura around Leo. For once he wasn't being flighty and random, but intense and focused, and Mao wondered again just how much he'd overlooked about so many people back in school.

"Okay?" Leo asked softly, hand wrapped around the back of Arashi's neck, and Arashi shrugged before nodding quickly. "You'll figure it out," he promised, sounding completely sure, before he let go of Arashi and moved back to lie on Izumi again.

Ritsu looked a little conflicted and Mao wondered what exactly he'd missed, especially since Arashi didn't look any happier. "Natchan," Ritsu tugged on his hand. "Is it me?"

"I have to go," Arashi brushed Ritsu's hand off and stood up, straightening his coat. "I need..."

" _Natchan_ ," Ritsu repeated, pulling at his sleeve this time. "Stay?"

"I can't," Arashi pulled his arm away, and Mao kind of felt like this was something he shouldn't be part of, although he noticed that Tsukasa looked mostly confused as well.

"You have us," Leo said firmly, holding out his hand, and Arashi looked tired when he took it and let Leo tug him closer. "I know it isn't the same, but you have us, okay?"

"I like you better when you're annoying," Izumi put in, which Mao was guessing might have been the only way he knew _how_ to show concern, but it seemed to prompt Arashi to curl against his shoulder and got a tiny smile out of him.

Ritsu turned his face into Mao's neck, shivering a little, and Mao wrapped his arms around him and held him tightly. "What did I do wrong?" he sounded incredibly childish and innocent in that moment.

"It's not you," Arashi sat up and shrugged. "It's personal, but it's not..." he shook his head. "I should really go."

"If you need to, none of us will stop you," Leo hummed, leaning his head back onto Izumi's shoulder.

"Natchan," Ritsu slipped out of Mao's hold and crawled closer, his expression softening. "Can I?"

"Okay," he conceded, letting Ritsu pull him down to the blanket again. "I thought you said once you didn't care about me," he murmured, and Ritsu flashed his fangs in a grin.

"I did a lot of things to try and push people away, but Maa-kun convinced me that I'd if I let you all in, my life would be better," he stretched out, humming contentedly. "I should listen to him more."

"You should," Mao chuckled, shifting over so that Ritsu could rest his head in his lap. He played idly with Ritsu's hair, trying not to listen in as he conversed with Arashi in hushed, murmured tones. Arashi seemed to be more relaxed now, propping himself up on one elbow and stretching his long legs out along the blanket.

"Naru, yay!" Leo rolled over so he was half on top of Arashi and somehow managed to pull Tsukasa along with him, and Mao wondered again how these guys could have been one of the most elite and feared units at Yumenosaki considering how they were acting now. "We'll do this more often, huh? Hang out?" he asked softly, and Arashi nodded. "You can come too," he looked at Mao upside-down, grinning.

"Uh," Mao replied and Ritsu snickered.

"I think you're too much for him, Ou-sama," he noted, though Leo looked rather disappointed over hearing it.

"I mean, if I'm not intruding," Mao amended, which got him another smile.

"Nah. Rittsu used to talk about you so much it was like you were there anyway," he laughed even as Ritsu swatted irritably at him. "He really loves you, huh?"

"Of course I do," Ritsu gazed fondly up at Mao. "I always have."

"Okay, _now_ you're getting too sappy," Izumi broke in, and Mao noticed that Arashi flinched at Ritsu's words although he didn't try to move away again.

Huh.

Maybe Izumi actually _was_ capable of being considerate, after all.

Anything else they might have said was cut short by the first firework exploding into the night sky, and Mao pulled Ritsu up a little so he was sitting more, tilting his head back to get a better view.

Even Leo seemed to settle down, lying perfectly still (though still mostly on top of everybody else), and Mao decided he could let himself relax and just focus on enjoying the show.

000

"Are you guys good?" Mao asked later, yawning as he pulled his shirt off and dropped it onto the bed. "You and Arashi?"

"Yeah. It was my fault," Ritsu shrugged. "I know I'm not great at being considerate of people's feelings, after all."

And Mao couldn't dispute that, not really, but it didn't explain much of anything. "So?"

"Mm, he hasn't told us everything, but at some point...well, I think the idea that I'll love you no matter what and that you never have to worry about my feelings changing is bringing back bad memories. He got hurt, maybe, by letting somebody too close, and..." Ritsu sighed.

"And seeing us makes him remember that, especially since I don't have to worry about you breaking my heart," Mao realized, and suddenly everything with Arashi made sense and it made him feel like a giant jerk for rubbing it in the whole time. Inadvertently, yes, but still...

"I think maybe tonight he felt like he was the reason we were holding back, but it's mostly that I prefer to...do things privately," he smirks, crawling onto the bed and pushing Mao down onto the sheets. "And I think I deserve a reward for being so good today..."

"Well, I did promise you we would if you went out tonight," Mao admitted, yawning again a moment later. "Can it wait until tomorrow, though? Unless you need the energy..."

"I'm okay," Ritsu shook his head. "Tonight was good," he rolled off of Mao so he was lying beside him.

"I told you," Mao glanced over at him, still glad that Ritsu had actually gone through with it.

"Mm, did you notice when we came in? The door to Anija's room was open but the one to the guest room was closed," Ritsu narrowed his eyes, looking both suspicious and knowing at the same time.

"Huh," Mao blinked, because he actually _hadn't_ noticed, but if Kaoru had actually shown up that was better than he had anticipated, really. "I wonder why."

"Yes, why indeed," Ritsu looked lazy and languid but a second later he was pinning Mao to the bed again, red eyes flashing. "You know better than to lie to me, Maa-kun," his voice had a bit of a growl in it and Mao tried _really_ hard not to react. "I know this is your doing."

"I just ran into Kaoru on the beach and might have mentioned Rei would be here alone for most of the night!" he protested, laughing when Ritsu leaned down to kiss him.

"You don't need to babysit my brother," Ritsu murmured against his lips, but there was something relieved in his voice that let Mao know he was happier than he'd ever let on that Kaoru was back.

"I know. But you know me and wanting to help people," Mao shrugged, tilting his head back when Ritsu kissed his neck.

"My Maa-kun, always so considerate," Ritsu teased, letting Mao go and moving back. "Do you want to sleep?"

"Actually," Mao sat up, reaching to touch his fingers to the back of Ritsu's hand. "I kind of want to...you know how I said I wanted to...explore you, right?"

"Yeah?" Ritsu looked a little surprised. "Okay. It's not going to be very exciting, but if you want, I'll never pass up the chance to have your hands on me," he stripped his shirt off, lying back against the pillows. "Just don't be too offended if I'm not hard."

"I know," Mao promised, leaning over him for a kiss. Ritsu wasn't as warm as he had been a few days earlier, his skin noticeably cool to the touch, and Mao wondered if he'd been telling the complete truth when he said his energy levels were fine. He didn't want Ritsu to lie to him, especially about something this important, but he wasn't _that_ good at being able to tell whether Ritsu was being truthful or not.

Ritsu sighed, his eyes half-closing as he lay completely still. Mao let himself just look for a few moments, admiring how beautiful Ritsu really was now that he didn't have any hesitation about admitting those things to himself. He didn't look like a monster now, pale skin nearly glowing in the darkened room and something almost innocent about the pleased smile on his lips.

"What?" he blinked, looking at Mao curiously. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Mao shook his head, his fingers moving slowly down Ritsu's chest. "You're...uh...you're beautiful," he mumbles, not sure why he could think it so easily but saying it still made him nervous.

"This?" Ritsu looked down at himself, wrinkling his nose. "Ah. Well, I'm glad you think so."

"You are," Mao kissed his shoulder, trailing his lips gently down Ritsu's chest.

"It's not like I really had any say over the vessel the monster inside of me chose," Ritsu murmured and Mao glanced up at him.

"Were you a...a real person once?" he asked cautiously, getting a shrug in return.

"I wasn't, no, but honestly I don't know if this...body is modelled on somebody who actually existed or if it's just a creation of the vampire to make me appear human. It's not tangible, but it...works like a real body, at least, and it still requires sleep and sustenance. It all seems rather unnecessary, but I suppose that's part of the illusion," he mused.

"Well, I think it's beautiful," Mao kissed his chest, cautiously rubbing his thumb over a flat nipple and watching Ritsu's reaction. "You feel real to me."

"Did you like it? When I did that to you?" Ritsu asked softly and Mao nodded, trying not to be embarrassed about it. "Think about that. About how it felt," Ritsu clarified, and Mao bit his lip and tried to remember how every brush of Ritsu's fingers or mouth against his skin made him feel like his entire body was on fire, how much it turned him on just to have Ritsu treating him like he was something precious and worthy of being so thoroughly caressed.

Ritsu let out a tiny gasp, his body arching into Mao's hands, and Mao grinned to himself and kept moving his fingers, feeling the tiny bud harden under his touch. "Does that feel good?"

"Yeah," Ritsu groaned, his fingers clenching in the blanket. "Ah...I think..." he swallowed, looking at Mao seriously. "I think we can make this work."

"Good," Mao pushed himself up enough to kiss Ritsu again, pressing their bare chests together. "Tomorrow, then?"

"Mean, Maa-kun," Ritsu pouted. "Getting me excited and then leaving me hanging."

"Tomorrow," Mao repeated, kissing Ritsu's forehead and pulling back. "But I'm glad, you know? That I can actually make you feel good."

"You do," Ritsu assured him. "More than I've felt before, although that's probably just because of how strong my bond with you is."

Mao smiled and lay down beside him, wrapping an arm around his chest and cuddling onto his shoulder. "You're real to me, Ritchan," he wasn't sure why he was bringing that up again, but it felt like he had to for some reason.

"You make me real," Ritsu replied, his hand settling on the curve of Mao's waist. "No, more than that, you make me want to be _human_."

"I love you," Mao felt himself getting a little choked up and laughed to cover it. "That's all that matters."

Ritsu nodded, kissing him gently, and Mao knew that he was finally, _finally_ there.

Because, no matter what, Ritsu was Ritsu...and that's all Mao could ever want him to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I ended that just before the good stuff but I promise that'll happen next chapter ;). I hope you all enjoyed!


	13. Chapter 13

Going down to the kitchen for coffee first thing in the morning was turning into somewhat of a ritual for him, though this time at least he expected to see Kaoru there before he even entered so the sight of the other man at the coffeemaker wasn't at all surprising.   
  
"Hey, Isara," Kaoru didn't even turn around, so apparently both of them were used to this routine already.   
  
"Hey," Mao replied in kind, wandering over to where Kaoru was standing. "We figured you were here last night," he added, not really sure how up to talking about things Kaoru was at the moment.   
  
"Yeah, well, I guess I should thank you for giving me an opening to come over here and actually talk with him," Kaoru looked over his shoulder finally, giving Mao a thin smile. "I think we're good now."  
  
"Yeah?" Mao leaned against the counter, watching Kaoru work. "Good."  
  
Kaoru didn't say anything else as he got some mugs out, pouring coffee into all of them once it was ready.   
  
"Hey..." he looked over at Mao then, turning his head to the side a little. "Did baby Sakuma ever talk to you about something called claiming?"  
  
"It doesn't sound familiar," Mao decided, thinking about it for a few moments. "Why?"  
  
"That's what Sakuma-san...Rei...that's what he said he did to me last night," Kaoru rubbed the side of his neck with one hand and when he lowered it Mao could see a rather angry bruise forming there. "Thought you might know more about it than me, that's all."  
  
"Mm, I can ask Ritsu about it, if you want," he offered, since honestly now he was a little curious, too.   
  
"Yeah, if you wanna mention it," Kaoru shrugged. "I mean, not that I don't trust Rei, but I have a feeling his little brother isn't going to sugar-coat anything."  
  
"If Rei's involved, probably not," Mao admitted with a grin, taking one of the mugs for himself and sipping at it.   
  
"It's kinda weird, y'know," Kaoru sighed, looking down at the floor. "I dunno if it's because of what he did, but even though he's just a couple of rooms away I kind of...I miss him," he mumbled and cleared his throat, sounding like he was ashamed to admit it. "Do you ever get that way?"  
  
"Not really," Mao replied after considering it for a while. "But then, Ritsu bonded to me over ten years ago, so maybe it's something that wears off after a while. I..." he frowned, not sure if he wanted to say this out loud but eventually deciding that Kaoru was being honest so he might as well be, too. "I didn't really miss him at all when I was at University. It was kind of nice, actually, not having to babysit him all the time, and he..."  
  
"Yeah?" Kaoru prompted, finally glancing in his direction.   
  
"Ah, damn, he was being really nasty and surly before I left but now I'm wondering if he wasn't doing it on purpose to push me away so I wouldn't feel bad about leaving, especially since I'm pretty sure before I came back he was ready to just...go to sleep forever," he crossed his arms, feeling guilty even though it wasn't really his fault since he didn't know the whole truth at the time.   
  
"Shit," Kaoru looked haunted now and he laid a hand hesitantly on Mao's shoulder. "I guess we both know what it's like to almost lose them, huh?"  
  
"Yeah," Mao whispered, even though Kaoru probably felt that fear a _lot_ more keenly since Rei was much closer to death than Ritsu had ever been. "But we don't need to think about that since they're fine," he decided with a firm nod.   
  
Kaoru gave him a soft smile, nodding his head slightly. "They are. I'm..." he glanced in the direction of the spare bedroom again.   
  
"Go," Mao chuckled. "I don't blame you for wanting to spend time with him, you know. Not after everything."  
  
"Thanks," Kaoru picked up two of the mugs and headed toward the kitchen door. "I'll probably see you after. I'm not going anywhere this time," he promised, and Mao knew he was telling the truth.   
  
He grabbed the last two mugs, heading back toward Ritsu's room and not being surprised at all to find him sleeping soundly once he got there.   
  
"Hey," he murmured, setting the coffees on the night table and moving carefully onto the bed. Ritsu didn't stir, so Mao took the time to study him for a bit, the realization that Ritsu had been trying to drive him away hitting him hard.   
  
He could have lost this. He could have lost his best friend, and he didn't even care because he was too busy enjoying his new life while Ritsu was literally fading away.   
  
"Maa-kun?" Ritsu asked softly, breaking into his musings. He had his eye mask pulled up enough that he could look at Mao but he still seemed half-asleep. "You're really sad. What's wrong?"  
  
"You could feel that, huh?" Mao tried to smile but he felt himself faltering, knowing Ritsu could tell he was lying. "It's fine, Ritchan. I just want to be here with you."  
  
"Okay," Ritsu was obviously not convinced but he pulled the mask off fully, sitting up only for long enough to lean against Mao and cuddle into his shoulder. "Love you."  
  
"Fuck," Mao replied, feeling his eyes start to burn.   
  
Ritsu nuzzled his neck, looping an arm over his chest to hold him tightly. "Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"I..." Mao breathed out slowly, looking up at the ceiling and trying to will his impending tears away. "Kaoru was down in the kitchen and we talked for a bit, and I realized that...when I was at university, I...I forgot you. Not literally, but you've been part of my life for so long and then when you _weren't_ it's like I didn't care at all."  
  
"Because I wanted you not to," Ritsu murmured, confirming all of Mao's speculations. "I was bratty and horrible to you before you left because I was too scared of you rejecting me that I would have rather just..."  
  
"Don't," Mao shook his head, not wanting to hear Ritsu talk about it. "Don't, Ritchan..."  
  
"I'm here," Ritsu promised, leaning so that their foreheads were touching. "I'm here and I'll be here for the rest of your life."  
  
"I know," Mao smiled, brushing Ritsu's hair back. "And I'm really grateful for that."  
  
Ritsu hummed happily and kissed him, tongue licking into his mouth almost desperately. Mao pulled him closer, nearly into his lap, and when they broke apart they were both panting heavily.   
  
"Maa-kun," Ritsu swallowed, looking unsure. "Will you..."  
  
"Anything," Mao replied without thinking, but at this point, he _would_ do almost anything for Ritsu.   
  
"Will you...make love to me?" he whispered and Mao's stomach swooped so alarmingly that he had to be sure the bed wasn't actually moving. "Please? I need you."  
  
"Yeah. Yeah, okay," he shivered, his throat feeling dry all of a sudden. "I, uh, brought you coffee, though..."  
  
"Oh," Ritsu blinked and grabbed the cup, downing the whole thing in a couple of swallows. "Thanks."  
  
Mao had to roll his eyes at that, but Ritsu had been waiting for this for a long time so he couldn't blame him for being impatient. "So what do I need to do?"  
  
"Well...shit," Ritsu groaned, flopping back on the bed. "Anija has the lube since I never really expected to need it..."  
  
"Do you want me to get it?" Mao asked, already starting to get off the bed.   
  
"No, drink your coffee. I just hope he's not naked and doing... _things_...with Kaoru," Ritsu wrinkled his nose, looking disgusted.   
  
"The same things we're going to be doing?" Mao raised an eyebrow and Ritsu gave him a rather unimpressed look. "Yeah, yeah. Go, already," he urged, trying to cover his nerves by smiling, but when Ritsu left the room he ended up finishing his coffee almost as quickly as the vampire had.   
  
He pulled his shirt off, shoving his pajama pants down and sitting back against the headboard.   
  
He probably _shouldn't_ be this nervous, really, since his part in the whole thing was relatively easy, but it still felt like a big step.   
  
Fucking Ritsu was a lot... _more_...than Ritsu just jerking him off, and even though he wasn't caught up on the fact that he was doing it with another guy anymore, he still had his reservations.   
  
"I'm back," Ritsu's cheeks were bright red when he pushed into the room and tossed the lube onto the bed. "They weren't doing anything...thankfully...but I still had to listen to both of them tease me for far too long," he looked at Mao and smiled, his eyes darkening. "Although this is a nice sight to come back to."  
  
"Yeah?" Mao smiled back and blushed a little, watching eagerly as Ritsu got similarly undressed. "So what do we need to do?"  
  
"Not much, to be honest," Ritsu shivered a little and Mao opened his arms, beckoning him back to the bed. "Mm, hi," he curled into Mao's lap, wrapping his arms around the young man's neck.   
  
"Hi," Mao replied softly, holding Ritsu's waist. "We're really gonna do this, huh?"  
  
"If you want to," Ritsu said, leaning to kiss him sweetly. "Just tell me when you're ready."  
  
"I'm ready," he promised, nodding. "So now what?"  
  
"Well..." Ritsu reached back to grab the lube, shifting on Mao's lap a little. "First, we need to get you hard."  
  
"Um," Mao blushed, because Ritsu saying it like _that_ almost has him there already. "I'm...really gonna be inside you..."  
  
"Mm, yes and no," Ritsu shrugged. "I don't actually have a physical form, so, you'll be inside _this_ , but..."  
  
"Hey," Mao leaned forward, kissing Ritsu firmly and making him let out a little murmur of surprise. "Don't...I told you last night..."  
  
"That I'm real, I know," he sighed. "But I'm not, and I can't really pretend otherwise. I won't feel anything from this, you know."  
  
"Then why are we doing it?" Mao pulled away a little. "Why even bother?"  
  
"I..." Ritsu paused, blinking slowly. "I don't know," he admitted, looking confused. "I guess I'm so used to people wanting to sleep with me that I've kind of gotten numb to it over the years."  
  
"Ritsu..." Mao sighed, not sure what to say. "Do you want to just cuddle or something?"  
  
Ritsu nodded, more unsure than Mao had maybe ever seen him, and he yanked him close and held him tightly. "I'm sorry," he mumbled against Mao's shoulder, clutching at him almost hard enough to hurt.   
  
"No, it's okay," Mao promised, nuzzling Ritsu's neck and breathing him in. "I love you so much, Ritchan. I don't want you to feel like I'm one of those people that's just using you."  
  
"I know you aren't," Ritsu slumped against him, pressing his body as close as he possibly could. "I _know_."  
  
"Okay," Mao didn't doubt him, but obviously there were still more things they had to work out. "I just want to promise you that if we...make love...that's what it is. That's the only reason I want to."  
  
Ritsu nodded against his shoulder, sitting up and sighing heavily. "Maybe with you it'll be better," he mumbled, picking up the lube again. "I just..."  
  
"Hey, no, we're not doing that now," Mao took it from him, noticing that Ritsu's fingers were limp and unresisting around it. "How about we just spend the day in bed and tonight we can see how we feel?"  
  
"Thanks," Ritsu nodded, crawling out of Mao's lap and back under the covers. He shivered and pulled them up around his shoulders, his body wavering a little, and Mao realized he was _trying_ to disappear.   
  
"Do you want me to leave you alone?" he asked softly and Ritsu became solid again, looking over his shoulder in fear. "I can't hold a shadow, you know."  
  
He didn't move or say anything as Mao got under the covers, hugging Ritsu from behind and kissing his shoulder. Ritsu relaxed in his arms then, reaching for Mao's hand, their fingers intertwining casually. "I know I was the one pushing for this and now I'm the one stopping it, so if you're confused, I don't blame you."  
  
"Whatever you want," Mao said quietly. "And if you're not going to enjoy yourself, then I won't, either."  
  
"Vampires don't have prostates, you know...the one thing that might actually be useful..." he sighed heavily and Mao let out a tiny laugh, not meaning to find it funny but, in a way, it kind of _was_. Vampires had hearts that did them no good, after all, but something that might actually give them a bit of a pleasure didn't exist. "I guess it only reinforces the idea that we're just...vaguely humanoid sexual toys," he grunted.   
  
"Does it feel good when I hold you?" Mao asked softly, not sure what to say.   
  
"It feels warm," Ritsu replied. "And I can feel how much you love me. I guess..." he sighed and turned so he was facing Mao, looking at him seriously. "I guess if that's all I get from this, it's okay. Better than nothing, anyway," he tried to smile but it looked horribly out of place.   
  
"Is it," Mao swallowed, feeling unsure about asking this but needing to know. "Is it better if you bite me?"  
  
"So much," Ritsu didn't even hesitate. "Drinking lifeblood is what makes me feel the most alive. Like I told you before, it doesn't leave as much lingering energy as an orgasm, but in the moment it's the greatest feeling."  
  
"And...it would be for me too, right?" Mao asked softly, prompting Ritsu to look at him.   
  
"Yes. To be honest, I've always found drinking sombody's blood leaves me feeling more connected to them than having them physically inside of me ever will," he admitted. "But I know it's my fault that you don't want to, and I..."  
  
"What if you didn't do it on my neck?" Mao asked. "I mean, for now, just to get me used to it," he whispered, and he was still nervous - he really was - but he could tell Ritsu was being honest about how it felt.   
  
"You'd do that for me?" Ritsu asked, his eyes widening. "You don't..."  
  
"Hey, Kaoru said it was good, and I _know_ he's not lying," Mao chuckled, prompting Ritsu to stick out his tongue. "Would my wrist work?"  
  
"It'll suffice," Ritsu reached to take his hand and lifted it up, kissing the inside of his wrist tenderly. "I won't take much, and if you don't like it, we'll stop."  
  
"Okay," he took a deep breath, closing his eyes without meaning to, but the tiny sting of pain that came after was hardly what he was expecting.   
  
He opened his eyes slowly, feeling Ritsu's mouth on his skin and realizing that, unlike last time when Ritsu was desperate for energy, it was a lot more intimate.   
  
Ritsu was holding his hand gently, his mouth sealed over Mao's wrist, but the look in his half-lidded eyes was peaceful and there was no urgency in the way he was feeding.   
  
Mao felt himself shiver, his breath coming faster as his body started to react, and this... _this_ was at least a little familiar. The first time Ritsu had bitten him, he'd definitely felt aroused, but he didn't really have a whole lot of time to process much before he'd passed out.   
  
That wasn't happening now, not with how slow Ritsu was going, but the way Mao was responding to it was was the same and he was regretting being naked right about now since he couldn't really hide anything.   
  
"Mm," Ritsu hummed happily, drawing his mouth away and licking over the thin line of red to seal it. "Was that okay?"  
  
"Uh, obviously," Mao blinked, because there was no way Ritsu could miss now hard he was.   
  
"No, that's..." Ritsu gave him a soft smile. "That's just your body reacting to me, but that doesn't mean you actually _liked_ it," he explained, holding Mao's hand again and kissing his fingertips.   
  
"I liked it," he promised, touching his fingers to Ritsu's lips. "I don't know if I'm ready for more yet, but I liked it."  
  
"Good," Ritsu looked thoughtful, stretching out and nuzzling into the pillow. "Do you need anything else? I'm still not opposed to giving you a hand," he offered, but now that the moment had passed Mao realized he wasn't really that turned on anymore.   
  
"No, you said you wanted to cuddle, so let's do that," he settled his arm around Ritsu's waist and Ritsu tucked his head under Mao's chin, his body relaxed. "Hey..." Mao started, thinking that now was as good a time as any to ask this, "Kaoru said your brother did something to him last night...he called it claiming, I think? I said I'd ask you about it."  
  
"Huh," Ritsu sounded surprised. "That's interesting. Anija said he'd never claim anybody because nobody deserved to be stuck with a vampire if they could help it, but...it's good, I think."  
  
"What is it, though?" Mao asked, since Ritsu made it sound cryptic although Kaoru hadn't really seemed bothered at all.   
  
"It's a bond substitute, essentially. A fake bond created between a vampire and a human in the absence of an actual bond-mate that functions the same but on a less powerful level," Ritsu was using his deep voice again but Mao didn't react, almost used to it by now. "The main advantage of it is that the vampire sees the claimed human as a mate and not a food source, so it's safe to feed from them."  
  
Well, that explained the fresh bite marks on Kaoru's neck, anyway.   
  
"But other than that it's a rather pale imitation of an actual bond," Ritsu continued, clearing his throat. "Emotions and feelings can still be passed through it, but not nearly as strongly. Though if Anija claimed him...well, that means he has something to stay here for."  
  
"And you'll feel less guilty that he's not just holding on because of you?" Mao guessed, getting a shrug in return.   
  
"Do you think...does he love my brother?" Ritsu asked softly and Mao considered it for a while, thinking about everything with Kaoru over the last few days.   
  
"I don't think he'll admit it, but I...I think he does," Mao replied. Ritsu kissed his neck, humming quietly.   
  
"Good. Good, I...Anija deserves somebody that loves him, especially now," the words seemed painful for him to get out, but Mao was pretty sure that was just his eternal aversion to saying or doing anything that might imply he actually _cared_ about Rei.   
  
"I think they're going to be fine," Mao smiled, nuzzling his nose into Ritsu's hair.   
  
"And what about us?" Ritsu asked softly. "Are we ever going to be fine?"  
  
"Of course," Mao didn't even want to consider the alternative. "We're working things out, but we'll get there."  
  
"Mm. Yeah," Ritsu yawned, hugging Mao a little more tightly. "We will."  
  
Mao let his hands roam idly over Ritsu's skin, hearing him let out a pleased murmur at the touch, and thought that apparently having a vampire for a boyfriend was a _lot_ more complicated than it had first seemed.   
  
He'd been selfish, assuming that he was the only one who had to accept it without ever once thinking that Ritsu might have his own issues after eight hundred years of failed relationships.   
  
So maybe they _both_ needed to help each other - but Mao knew that, once they did, the end result would be better than either of them could have ever imagined. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait on this chapter! School and work have seriously cut into my writing time but I still wanted to get this out :)
> 
> If you want to read the Rei/Kaoru scene that comes right before this chapter, be sure to check out the second chapter of [Connected!](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7501122/chapters/18465412).
> 
> As always, thank you for the continued comments and support, and feel free to let me know what you thought.


	14. Chapter 14

"I hate to sound intrusive, but you don't look nearly happy enough for what I assumed was about to occur having actually happened," Rei greeted him with this when he was taking the empty coffee cups back to the kitchen, and while Mao guessed it was better than Kaoru grilling him about things, it was still awkward.  
  
"Yeah," he mumbled, setting the cups in the sink and turning to look at the table where Rei was seated. "Where's Kaoru?"  
  
"Out surfing," Rei replied, idly flipping through a newspaper. "And changing the subject won't cause me to forget my question."  
  
Mao sighed, because he hadn't really expected that it would. He leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms, trying to look as defensive as possible in the hopes that maybe Rei would realize he _really_ didn't want to talk about this.  
  
"How much has Ritsu told you about his past? Specifically his past sexual encounters?" Rei sounded far too casual to be talking about his brother's sex life, but it wasn't like Mao had any other vampires to consult so his options were kind of limited here.  
  
"A bit. Mostly that other people used him," he added, getting a tiny nod from Rei.  
  
"They did. Ritsu, admittedly, has had extremely poor luck when it comes to finding partners who respect him as...well, I suppose we're neither human nor living, so it's not as if anybody _has_ to respect us, but..."  
  
"But you feel things," Mao protested. "And that makes you human enough, at least to me."  
  
"This is why I'm so fond of you," Rei chuckled softly. "Because you're what he's deserved for eight hundred years, and if he's realized the only reason you want to be intimate with him is because you love him, it's probably hard to process."  
  
"He told me that it doesn't feel good unless he bites me, and I'm too afraid to let him," Mao added, causing Rei to let out a thoughtful hum.  
  
"Well, I suppose considering that last time he nearly killed you, I don't think you can be blamed for being wary. It's certainly better if we're feeding, that's true, but even without it...it doesn't feel _bad_ , it just doesn't feel like much of anything, so I suppose he might consider that not being able to enjoy it," he replied, tapping one long finger against his chin. "And, of course, given his association with sexual acts in general, I would assume that if he could get some pleasure from it, it might make it easier for him to look forward to it and accept that things are different with you."  
  
"I want to let him, but I just...don't know if I can," Mao sighed, glancing toward the other side of the room and not looking at Rei directly.  
  
"Well, let me frame it this way," Rei set the newspaper aside and gave Mao a rather steady, searching look. "You know he won't kill you, because the bond prevents that for vampires who aren't starving, and now we know that it takes a few months without him being near you to get to such a dire state. So he doesn't even _need_ to drink, but he'll feel good if he does."  
  
"He's nervous," Mao realized, wondering why he hadn't put it all together before.  
  
"He won't admit it, but yes, I think so. Technically the pleasure and lust that you feel should be mirrored in him and, given the strength of your bond, it's safe to say he'd feel it nearly as strong as you do. You won't want to hear this, but I got enough of that from Kaoru even without a bond, and biting him was mostly because we both wanted it," he smiled, and while he was right that Mao already knew _way_ more about his and Kaoru's sex life than he'd ever really needed to, it did put things into perspective.  
  
"So you think he wants to bite me because he's..." Mao frowned, trying to come up with the best way to word it. "He's worried that sex by itself might not be enough to for it to not bring up bad memories?"  
  
"I believe so," Rei nodded. "Perhaps he thinks that feeding will make it easier for him to enjoy it in the moment, but quite honestly, I'm afraid that will only make things worse."  
  
"Fuck," Mao rubbed his hands over his eyes because Ritsu might be good at hiding things, but damn, this was something he _really_ should have been open about. "I need to show him that...I'm enough. That what we have is enough, and that he can feel good without needing to fall back on biting me. Right?"  
  
Rei didn't really answer except to smile at him before picking up the newspaper again, but that was enough for Mao to know they were both on the same page with this.  
  
Now he just had to bring it up with Ritsu.  


000

  
Bringing it up with Ritsu, however, wasn't exactly as easy as it seemed.

He'd been asleep by the time Mao had gotten back to their room, and he knew well enough how surly and uncooperative Ritsu could be when he was woken up before he was ready to be awake so it was better to not chance it - especially considering the topic of the conversation they'd be having.

There was one other thing that had been bothering him since the night before, though, and since it had to do with a person who would more than likely be awake in the daytime, Mao figured it might not be a bad idea to sort that out first.

That was how, a little while later, he found himself in the same coffee shop he'd been in before this whole thing had started. It seemed like so long ago now, even though it had only been a little over a month, but Mao guessed that was just because so much had happened.

It was sunny today, thankfully, and he actually arrived first so he bought a pastry and took a seat by the window, waiting for Arashi to show up.

He did so with predictable flair, treating the sidewalk like his personal runway, and when he got into the shop he swept his sunglasses off with a gesture so dramatic that Mao had to stifle a chuckle.

Mao watched him head over to the counter and place his order, standing there and casually chatting with the barista until the coffee was made. He seemed relaxed, which was good, though Mao knew that obviously hadn't been the case the night before and he wanted to talk about it.

"Mao-chan! Did you miss me so much you couldn't even wait a day to see me again?" Arashi teased, sliding into the seat across from Mao and reaching to lay a hand on his forearm.

Now that he was close Mao could see that he looked tired, his smile not really reaching his eyes. He pulled his hand back quickly, opting for wrapping it around his cup instead.

"I wanted to talk about last night..."

"Oh," Arashi murmured, looking out the window and sighing dramatically. "Yes. I should...apologize. I behaved in a way that's entirely unbecoming of a lady."

"That's...Ritsu told me. Kind of. You've been hurt by someone, right?" he hated saying it so bluntly but there wasn't really a delicate way to bring something like this up.

Arashi gave him a thin-lipped smile, his eyes narrowing in a way that made him look almost dangerous. "He told you that?"

"Well, more like he said he guessed, but..."

"Ah," Arashi clipped the word short, his voice cold. "Well. Rest assured that I have no desire to interfere in your relationship. If that's what this is about, I don't think we have any further reason to talk."

There was no life in his voice at all and it was a little frightening how quickly his entire personality had shifted, but Mao could at least guess that this was a majorly sore subject and maybe it really _was_  none of his business.

"Okay. I can go." Mao was done with his pastry anyway.

"No, you don't...sorry," Arashi groaned and leaned back in his chair. "I'm being horrible and there's no excuse for it. I know you're concerned, and I appreciate it."

"If we were making you uncomfortable..."

"You weren't. Seeing the two of you makes me happy, although I suppose I don't really envy you having to deal with Ritsu-chan all the time since he's kind of stubborn," he smiled now and Mao couldn't say anything against that one. "I'm not going to say that I'm perfectly okay, since you'd see right through that, but anything that makes me believe love might actually exist has to be special. And you two have that, so I hope you never lose it."

And that was kind of cryptic, but at least Mao could say with a good deal of certainty now that Arashi had a pretty cynical view of love.

"I was feeling sentimental last night with Knights being back together, I think, and I didn't want to ruin the mood by being gloomy," he continued, taking a sip of coffee. "It's pretty hard to be down around those guys though since they're, like, kind of a handful!"

His voice was a lot brighter now, genuine warmth seeping into his tone when Knights was brought up, and Mao cautiously reached out and settled his hand over Arashi's. "Hey, what your, uh...your king said last night? About having people? It's true. Maybe it's not the same as having a boyfriend, but those guys really care about you."

"I know," Arashi promised, turning his hand around so he could grip Mao's loosely.

"And we're...kind of friends now, too. Aren't we?" Mao was pretty sure they were at that point, anyway, and judging by Arashi's rather incredulous laugh at his words he felt a little more certain.

"I'd like to think so, Mao-chan," Arashi nodded, reaching to dig out his phone when it buzzed and grinning at whatever he saw on the screen. "Sorry, I have to run."

"Okay," Mao cleared his throat and watched Arashi stand and pick up his drink. "We're good, right?"

"Of course we are. I'm glad you thought to talk to me, though," he added, smiling and raising his hand in a wave before leaving, and Mao thought he had a bit more of a spring in his step now than he'd had when he first got to the shop.

He didn't know if that was because he appreciated Mao reaching out to him or because he was really excited about whatever text he'd gotten, but regardless, Mao felt better about it.

Well, he thought as he left the shop, that was one potentially difficult conversation down.

Time to have the other one.  


000

  
"You don't have to look so worried. Anija came to talk to me while you were out," Ritsu stopped playing on his piano to say that, turning back and continuing a moment later without missing a beat.

Mao wasn't sure if he really looked _that_ worried, even though he was a little nervous, but obviously Ritsu had decided finishing his song was more important than actually having a conversation so Mao let him play.

It was always nice to listen to Ritsu anyway, to see how lost he got in the music he was making - hands flying over the keys and eyes half-closed as if every note was bringing up some distant memory.

Mao walked closer, leaning down to hug Ritsu from behind and smiling when the melody he was playing didn't falter. He didn't even think Ritsu was breathing as the music swirled to a crescendo around them and then faded away, the last notes lingering in the still air of the parlour.

"And?" Mao prompted when Ritsu dropped his hands, wrists loosely resting against the piano keys.

"And...don't tell him this...but I believe he may have a point. I'm not worried about you hurting me, of course, since you can't, but I need to trust in the bond more. I need to trust in _you_ more," he amended, letting out a tiny laugh when Mao leaned forward to rest his chin on top of Ritsu's head. "You're my Maa-kun, after all."

"I am. And you're my Ritchan," he replied. "I want this to be good for you."

"I know. It will be. I just need to not be afraid," Ritsu sounded amused. "There's probably a good deal of irony in a monster being afraid, huh?

"You're not a monster," Mao kissed the top of his head. "You're beautiful."

"I know you see me that way," Ritsu admitted. "And I suppose that's all that really matters."

"I do," Mao promised, moving back and letting him go. "But if you don't want to do anything, I understand."

"No, it's...it's long past time for me to face this," Ritsu pulled the lid down over the piano keys and stood up, red eyes full of resolve. "I'm ready if you are," he held out his hand, fingers trembling a little, and Mao reached out to grab it and hold it tightly.

"Let's go."  


000

  
It was different this time.

Ritsu was calm, almost eerily so, but unlike that morning when he'd been so unsure and reluctant he was touching Mao with purpose now, getting him out of his clothes and laying back on the bed once he was undressed.

His mouth was open slightly as he stared up at Mao, fangs glistening in the moonlight seeping through the window and his eyes so dark they were nearly black.

"Ritsu," Mao moved over him, reaching to brush his hair back.

"I want you," Ritsu murmured, shivering and reaching for Mao almost desperately. "Please."

And this time, Mao believed him.

"Do you want to...like this, or do you want to be on top?" Mao asked, because if Ritsu wanted a little more control he couldn't blame him.

"No. Like this," Ritsu reached for the lube, slicking his fingers and reaching to run his hand over Mao's cock. "We don't need much, I'll just...my body will accommodate you, but it still makes it easier."

"Okay," Mao swallowed, trying to tamp down his own nerves because Ritsu would be able to feel that.

"Mao," Ritsu murmured and Mao looked at him in surprise because he couldn't remember the last time Ritsu had called him by his real name...if, in fact, he _ever_ had.  He looked incredibly serious, and Mao knew this was the vampire part of him speaking, but for once it didn't bother him at all.  "You're going to be perfect."

"I doubt it," Mao laughed, ducking his head to hide the blush on his cheeks. "I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Just do what feels right. It'll be perfect because you're doing it out of love and not just because I'm a willing body," he wrinkled his nose and Mao leaned to kiss him, pulling back much sooner than he would have liked to. "Do I have to whine at you again?"

"If you want," Mao nudged their noses together, breathing in slowly. Ritsu laughed, his lips grazing the shell of Mao's ear as he lifted his head up.

"Maa-kun, I want you to fuck me," his breath was surprisingly hot, the words leaving his mouth in a pleading whisper, and Mao gasped because he'd gotten hard almost ridiculously fast at that. "I want to be good for you. Tell me how," Ritsu's fingers were gripping his hair and his body writhed on the sheets, mirroring Mao's arousal.

"You like that? You like when I tell you how good you are?" Mao knew that already, even though sometimes back in high school it had been hard to tell if Ritsu was just teasing when he said those things.

"Praise me more," Ritsu replied, lips pulled back into a smile.

"More, huh?" Mao kissed his neck, moving down his chest and trying to touch every inch of him. "What do you want me to say?"

"Anything," Ritsu groaned, his entire body arching off of the bed when Mao slid his lips over the tip of Ritsu's cock. He let out a cry that sounded broken and Mao pulled back, wondering if he'd managed to fuck something up again. "You don't have to..."

"I want to," Mao promised, and he did. Yeah, at one time he probably would have freaked out at the thought of having another guy's dick in his mouth, but this was _Ritsu_. "It's safe, right?"

Ritsu took a shaky breath and sighed, his fingers settling in Mao's hair. "Of course it is. Nothing's going to happen, you know, but..."

"You like it, though. I know you do," Mao kissed his thigh. "When you make those noises..."

"I don't...I think I like it? Nobody's..."

"Oh," Mao moved back and looked up at Ritsu in surprise. "Seriously? Eight hundred years and nobody ever gave you a blowjob?"

"Why bother?" Ritsu sounded bitter again. "It's not going to go anywhere."

"Because you like it!" Mao protested. "Isn't that enough of a reason to want to?"

"Not for anybody else," Ritsu admitted softly, his voice catching in his throat. "Not..."

"Hey," Mao pushed himself up and lay his body down on top of Ritsu's, staring into his eyes. They looked suspiciously wet and far too bright. "Are you...crying?"

"I don't even think I can, but I think I would be otherwise," Ritsu looked embarrassed. "You...I don't know how I could ever doubt you. You're everything."

"So are you," Mao tilted his head to kiss him again. "But maybe we should leave that until next time so you can prepare for it," he was teasing a little, gently, and Ritsu pouted and stuck his bottom lip out.

" _Mean_ , Maa-kun."

"It can be your reward for being good," Mao added, seeing Ritsu's entire face light up at that. "And I think you want to do something else right now, anyway..."

"I do," Ritsu wrapped his arms around Mao's neck and smiled up at him. "So fuck me already."

Mao snorted, kissing Ritsu's forehead and moving back again. "Never change, Ritchan."

"After eight hundred years, I don't think I can," Ritsu was still smiling, though, and Mao knew he wasn't bitter for once. "Just tell me when you're ready."

Mao kissed him one more time, trying to share as much of the love and happiness he was feeling through the bond as he could, and promised himself that in whatever time they had together he was going to try and replace all of the bad memories of Ritsu's that he could with new and better ones.

Ritsu's fingers stroked gently along his cheek, something so tender in his eyes that Mao knew he wasn't lying about wanting it now.

"Okay," he nodded, holding Ritsu's gaze.

"I'm ready."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. I promise that next time they're actually going to do the promised Things and I won't make you guys wait any longer ;)
> 
> 2\. I haven't gotten a lot of feedback on the last couple of chapters so if you're still reading/enjoying please feel free to let me know what you thought!


	15. Chapter 15

'Weird' was a bit of an understatement for how it felt to be inside of Ritsu.   
  
Yes, Mao had expected it to be...different than doing it with an _actual_ person, but that Ritsu had basically dissolved and reformed around his cock hadn't exactly been what he was thinking would happen.   
  
Ritsu looked half-asleep, his eyes almost closed and his lips slightly parted, chest moving evenly with breaths he didn't need to take.   
  
"Okay?" he asked softly, blinking at Mao.   
  
"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Mao lifted a hand to absently brush Ritsu's hair out of his eyes.   
  
"Normally, maybe," Ritsu smiled, leaning his head back against the pillow. "But there's no way for me _not_ to be okay so it's all about you."  
  
"Coming from you, that actually means a lot," Mao laughed and Ritsu rolled his eyes, although he didn't deny being selfish by nature (he couldn't, really, since more than anything he was _proud_ of it). "I'm good. Just getting used to..."  
  
"Me?" Ritsu asked, raising an eyebrow and sinking back more so that his body was laid out for Mao. One arm was thrown up, fingers loosely gripping the bars of the headboard, while his free hand was fisted in the sheets beside him. And Mao didn't think he was doing this on purpose - 'this' being 'looking as alluring as possible' - but it was happening regardless.   
  
So really, 'getting used to Ritsu' was fairly accurate, and for maybe the first time Mao could at least understand why people would see him as a purely sexual object because he was practically oozing it now.   
  
Vampire sex appeal might not be a thing, but the air in the room was making Mao feel incredibly heady and he was starting to wonder if vampires were able to amplify arousal somehow because it was hard to even think straight.   
  
And Ritsu...  
  
Well, Ritsu had always been gorgeous, but right now he was damn near irresistible. His pale skin was glistening with sweat, eyes so lust-fogged that only the barest hint of red was visible, and Mao could almost swear he could see the pulse pounding beneath Ritsu's pale neck and wrists.   
  
It didn't mean he was alive, since his heart didn't really do anything, but it was all for Mao - the blush staining his cheeks, the raised peaks of his nipples, the way his cock twitched and arced outward from his body in undeniable arousal - and that made him feel almost...proud.   
  
But despite all of that, it didn't stop the niggling doubt in the back of his brain that so many people had seen Ritsu like this and used him for his body. It would be easy, to take his own pleasure and leave it at that, but even if Ritsu couldn't physically have an orgasm, Mao would never be that cold.   
  
"What are you thinking about?" Ritsu's voice was still languid, still almost sleepily seductive, but there was a hitch in his breath and a deep growl to his tone that definitely wasn't normal.   
  
"This is...seeing you like this, I know why people..."  
  
"Yes," Ritsu gave him a sad smile, shifting his body back and making Mao groan at the pressure around his cock. "This is my purpose, after all."  
  
"No," Mao said firmly, grabbing Ritsu's wrists and pinning them to the bed. Ritsu looked at him in surprise, though he could have easily gotten away and chose not to so obviously he wasn't feeling threatened by it. "I mean, maybe that _is_ why vampires like you and your brother exist, but it's not for me. You're my...my partner, my equal, and I'm going to give you as much pleasure as you give me. I promise."  
  
Ritsu's mouth dropped open a little, his brow furrowing in confusion. He blinked, and suddenly there were tears leaking from his eyes and Mao was so startled he almost pulled back far enough to slip out of Ritsu entirely.   
  
Or he would have, if Ritsu hadn't broken his grip and all but flowed into his lap, pressing their bodies together and burying his face against Mao's shoulder.   
  
"Ritchan?"  
  
"You were worth waiting eight hundred years for," Ritsu murmured, his body shaking as he sobbed. "You were so worth it."  
  
"Hey, hey, I'm just doing what any decent person would," Mao promised, since it didn't feel like he was doing anything exceptional. People should want to be equal with whoever they were dating, right?   
  
At least, that was the only thing that made sense to him.   
  
"Then I've had extremely bad luck meeting decent people," Ritsu kissed his neck. "And apparently we've found out that I _can_ , in fact, cry."  
  
"I'm glad you let that out," Mao held him tighter, groaning a bit when he shifted enough to remember that they were kind of in the middle of something. "Do you want to stay here?"  
  
"Yes," Ritsu sounded petulant now. He moved back enough to look at Mao, his eyes still glittering with unshed tears, and he would have a hard time convincing anybody he wasn't human right now.   
  
Mao knew it was because of him, but if he could make Ritsu feel _this_ , then he could make him feel pleasure, too, so he decided that was his next goal.   
  
"Okay," Mao held Ritsu steady and turned so that he could lean against the headboard, trusting it to hold his weight.   
  
Ritsu let his knees rest on the bed, straddling Mao's hips. "Is this okay?"  
  
"Yeah. If you're good with i-" Mao broke off with a gasp as Ritsu rolled his hips back, his body undulating like a snake. "Fuck!"  
  
"I'm very good at this, Mao," Ritsu smirked, and that was definitely the vampire again, but it was _really_ hot so Mao didn't mind at all this time.   
  
"Then make me come so I can make you feel it," Mao pulled him in for a kiss, feeling Ritsu's arms wrap around his neck as he kept rocking back onto Mao's cock.   
  
Ritsu sighed against his lips, tongue licking against them desperately until Mao opened his mouth and let him take control.   
  
Mao settled his hands on Ritsu's hips, guiding his movement. He knew Ritsu didn't have a prostate so there was no reason to try and fuck him as deeply as possible, but somehow it seemed like Ritsu wanted that anyway considering he kept sinking down onto Mao's cock and staying there.   
  
It wasn't anything like Mao had thought it would be.  Really, he'd assumed the first time would be fast and frantic and that his own stamina would be non-existent, but then...in the end, this was about showing Ritsu how much Mao loved and valued him, so maybe it made sense that it was slow.   
  
But he still wouldn't last long, of course.

He was too far gone for that by now.   
  
He rubbed his thumbs along the defined ridges of Ritsu's hips, feeling his pelvis shift as he rocked languidly. Ritsu bumped their noses together, breathing with him as he moved. "Thank you."  
  
"For what?" Mao didn't really feel up for having a serious conversation at this point, but he was still willing to listen.   
  
"For sharing this with me instead of just taking it from me," Ritsu replied, shivering when he sunk back onto Mao's cock as far as he could go.   
  
"You like it?" Mao was pretty sure, since Ritsu tended to not put any effort into something he _didn't_ like, but it would be nice to hear it.   
  
"Mm, it feels good," Ritsu replied, tightening his arms around Mao's neck and circling his hips a little faster.   
  
Mao smiled, leaning to fasten his lips to Ritsu's shoulder and pulling one hand back so he could wrap it around the vampire's cock.   
  
Ritsu made the same tiny, broken noise he'd uttered earlier when Mao had touched him so intimately, though this time Mao knew it wasn't a refusal so he didn't pull away.   
  
And from the way Ritsu's hips were bucking up into his hand, his cock sliding easily through the tight circle of Mao's grip, he obviously didn't have any issue with what was happening.   
  
Mao kept sucking at his skin, holding Ritsu steady with one arm clamped around his waist now and trying to hold off on his own orgasm as long as he possibly could.   
  
It was all on him, after all, and he could tell that Ritsu was absolutely lost in pleasure right now so he wanted that to last as long as possible. As soon as he came, it would fade, though post-coital Ritsu had still seemed rather sated and content last time so maybe it would linger at least for a while.   
  
"Maa-kun..." Ritsu gasped, his fingers digging into Mao's shoulders almost hard enough to hurt. He sounded desperate, and Mao knew he could feel how close Mao was to falling apart himself. "Please...please..." he trailed off like it was too much effort to form words and Mao knew, somehow, that it was time.   
  
His own hips drove upward when he came, pressing as deep into Ritsu's body as he physically could, and Ritsu's grip on him became vise-like as he panted into Mao's hair. Mao could feel Ritsu's cock twitch in his hand, although he wasn't sure if Ritsu's body was actually shaking or if his own was or if they both were.   
  
At least the headboard was there to support him when he slumped backward, pulling Ritsu with him. They were both gasping, Mao because he couldn't seem to get any air into his lungs and Ritsu because, despite whatever he claimed, he was pretty damn human right now.   
  
Ritsu burrowed his face against Mao's neck and now it was obvious that he _was_ shaking - and probably crying again, so Mao held him close and stroked his skin, trying to calm him down.   
  
"Thank you," Ritsu finally mumbled, kissing Mao's throat. "Thank you for sharing that with me."  
  
"Of course," Mao ran his fingers up into Ritsu's hair and petted him gently. "I'm glad you liked it."  
  
"That might be an understatement," Ritsu sat upright with what looked like a very visible effort, his body shimmering again and becoming intangible for a second to let Mao's cock slide free.   
  
Mao groaned softly, missing Ritsu's surprising warmth immediately, and Ritsu gave him a toothy smile.   
  
"I can stay if you want," Ritsu was obviously teasing now and Mao shook his head, pulling Ritsu further into his lap and hugging him tightly.   
  
"This is fine," he mumbled, because Ritsu's entire body was almost hot now and it was nice to hold him, especially considering his normal body temperature was about the same as a block of ice.   
  
"Good," Ritsu brushed his hair back and kissed his forehead. "I don't think I've ever felt the urge to come that badly before...I mean, not that I _can_ , but you held yourself back for me."  
  
"Yeah," Mao admitted with a tiny nod. "I could tell how much you were enjoying it so I wanted that to last."  
  
"You think far too much about somebody who can only feel echoes of what you do," Ritsu scolded him gently, cupping his cheeks and staring into his eyes.   
  
"Because I know it's just an echo, so I know if I'm feeling as much as I possibly can, that means that maybe you have a chance to feel some of it, too," he murmured, tilting his head up for a kiss that Ritsu gladly gave to him. "Would it be better for you if you were inside of me?"  
  
"Probably," Ritsu admitted, clicking his tongue. "If you want me to feel the most pleasure possible, your prostate probably has to be involved," he purred and Mao felt his cheeks heat up, his cock stirring a little with renewed interest. "Your body is betraying you, Maa-kun," Ritsu smirked.   
  
"I'm not really afraid of it anymore, you know," Mao said, clearing his throat. "I know you'd take care of me, and if it would feel good..."  
  
"Not now. I know you're tired," Ritsu yawned on the words and Mao raised an eyebrow, earning himself an annoyed huff. "Okay, _I'm_ tired, but I can feel that you are, too."  
  
"Mostly I just feel good," Mao kissed him again, letting their foreheads rest together as he breathed Ritsu in. "But the whole point of this was to see if we could make it feel good without biting, so..."  
  
"It did," Ritsu hummed. "Obviously biting would only increase the connection between us, but...it can wait. I don't need it with you," he decided, and Mao was glad to hear that because it meant that he and Rei had been right all along.   
  
"Maybe I'll get there one day," Mao wasn't counting it out, since Ritsu biting him on his wrist had been okay and obviously Rei and Kaoru were doing it pretty often without any serious consequences.   
  
"Hmm, good," Ritsu still looked happy about the possibility even if he didn't _need_ it, so Mao made a point to seriously try working toward being okay with it soon.   
  
Before either of them could say anything else Ritsu yawned again, eyes squeezed shut and fangs hanging out of his mouth a little. It shouldn't really be cute, but it kind of was, and Mao couldn't help smiling at him.   
  
"Should I grab us some food and drinks?"  
  
"Yeah," Ritsu, true to his nature, didn't offer to go himself, and instead flopped off of Mao so he was burrowed into the sheets. "Please?" he finally thought to add, peeking out at Mao with one red-hued eye.   
  
"Of course," Mao made a quick stop in the washroom to clean himself up a little before tugging on a pair of Ritsu's pyjamas and heading down to the kitchen.   
  
It was dark and empty, for once, and Mao breathed a sigh of relief because he almost expected to run into either Rei or Kaoru when he went in there now.   
  
He grabbed a couple of sports drinks out of the fridge and looked for something good to eat before a soft sound reached his ears: a slow, sad melody that had him feeling almost hypnotized as he went to search it out.   
  
It was coming from the parlour and he pushed the door open, a gentle smile coming to his lips when he saw what was happening.   
  
Rei was playing the violin, his eyes half-closed and his body swaying in time with the music. Kaoru was seated on a sofa by the fireplace, a blanket wrapped around him and a mug of something that was steaming faintly in his hands.   
  
He was looking at Rei with such open adoration that Mao had no doubts anymore that he loved him, and Mao had to admire how far he had come - especially considering that he was the one who was likely going to be hurt in the end.   
  
That he would take that chance to stay with Rei said a lot, and Mao tore himself away from intruding any further.   
  
He padded back to the kitchen, going back to his search for food and nearly hitting his head on the fridge when he heard somebody come in behind him.   
  
"I thought you'd be sleeping," he stood up, passing Ritsu one of the drink bottles and watching him closely.   
  
"Mm, for some reason I feel like baking," Ritsu started digging through the cupboard and pulled out some mixing bowls and measuring cups. "I hear my brother's up anyway so he'll probably come in to bug us at some point. Or ask for the lube back," Ritsu made a gagging noise in the back of his throat and Mao stifled his laughter with his hand.   
  
He sat himself comfortably at the counter to watch Ritsu, knowing that whatever he made would be delicious no matter what it looked like, and thought about how...easily they were all falling into this almost domestic-like routine.   
  
It wasn't what he expected for himself, having that sort of dynamic not just with a vampire who happened to be his boyfriend but also with said vampire's brother and his...whatever Kaoru was, too.   
  
But, well, they were all kind of stuck with each other for life at this point so he guessed he'd better get used to it.   
  
Ritsu was humming to himself as he worked, seemingly throwing ingredients together randomly without following any sort of recipe, but it was calming to watch him be so intensely focused in a way that Mao really hadn't seen outside of when he was playing piano.   
  
"There," Ritsu slid the cake into the oven, leaning back against the counter and downing about half of his sports drink in one sip. He slumped around to where Mao was, half-falling onto his back and nuzzling his shoulder tiredly. Mao leaned against him, turning his head to the side so Ritsu could kiss his neck, and thought that he really didn't have any complaints about this being how his life was going to go.   
  
One way or another Ritsu would have been in it regardless, and after all they'd been through together, Mao couldn't imagine it turning out any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a lot to say this time since that chapter mostly speaks for itself! But hopefully that made up for the teasing last time ;) 
> 
> There's probably only a couple more chapters of this fic to go, but I guess I'll see once I start writing how long the things I still have planned to happen will take. 
> 
> As always, thank you so much for the comments and kudos and please feel free to let me know what you thought :)


	16. Chapter 16

"Summer's almost over."  
  
"No."  
  
"I'm going to have to go back to school soon."  
  
" _No_."  
  
"Ritsu..."  
  
Ritsu's only reply to that was to growl, although that wasn't doing either of them any good. Mao had tried to avoid talking about this as long as he could, but with summer drawing to a close and the start of the new term looming ever closer, it was time to discuss it.   
  
"Look, we need to figure out how this is going to work. Obviously I can't leave you alone for that long again but it's not exactly easy for me to come back, either," Mao sat up, brushing his hair out of his eyes and looking down at Ritsu. "I don't _want_ to leave you alone for that long again, anyway," he added softly, reaching to run his fingertips along Ritsu's bare shoulder.   
  
It still floored him sometimes just how beautiful Ritsu was, even though it had taken him far too long to appreciate and admit it.  He was always allowed to touch him, mostly, but now he could do it without thinking twice and Ritsu always looked extremely pleased whenever he was the one to initiate anything.   
  
"I don't want you to, either," Ritsu reached for his hand, like he couldn't stand losing contact for even a second. "Mm, why can't you stay with me? Anija and I have money, you wouldn't have to worry..."  
  
"I still want to be self-sufficient," Mao replied, lacing his fingers with Ritsu's. "I know I'm stuck with you forever either way."  
  
"Yep," Ritsu replied, baring his fangs in a grin. "So stay."  
  
"We've still got a couple of weeks, so we'll just have to make the most of it and any time we can figure out until winter break," Mao frowned, trying to figure out how long it actually took to get to school and whether coming home for weekends was something he could manage.   
  
It was doable, unless he had projects or exams, but it was still a few hours' train ride either way and that would get tiring and expensive after a while.   
  
"It's even harder to let go of you now than it was before," Ritsu sighed, bringing Mao's hand up to his lips and kissing the back of his fingers. "And last time I was convinced I would never see you again."  
  
"I'm never letting you get that bad again," Mao shivered a little when Ritsu's fangs brushed the palm of his hand. "Do you need..."  
  
"No," Ritsu shook his head, obviously being more careful with his teeth now as he kissed his way down Mao's wrist. "I think I've got enough energy stored up for a while now."  
  
"Okay. Tell me if you need more," Mao smiled when Ritsu nuzzled against the palm of his hand. "But we do need to talk about it."  
  
Ritsu sighed again, keeping Mao's hand against his cheek. "I can come visit you," he finally said. "I hate going out and traveling like that, but it's easier than you coming here."  
  
"I don't know how that'll work since I live in a dorm," Mao realized any roommates of his probably wouldn't be very accommodating if his non-student boyfriend suddenly showed up, after all.   
  
"Hotels, Maa-kun," Ritsu replied, sounding like he was teasing. "Remember? Money's not a problem. When I come, we'll just rent a room for the weekend and then we can have all the fun we want."  
  
"Yeah?" Mao wanted to say that Ritsu didn't need to spend money on him like that but...but it was really the best option, since if his roommates wouldn't like his boyfriend visiting, they'd like it even _less_ if they had to hear them having sex.   
  
Not that he was loud or anything, but the walls of the dorm were pretty thin and it would be obvious what was happening.   
  
"Yeah. Every couple of weeks, if I need to," Ritsu promised, and Mao knew how huge it was that he was offering to go out of his way to ride alone on a train and stay away from his comfort zone at home for Mao like that.   
  
"Okay," Mao nodded. "I'd like that. I can come home sometimes too, you know..."  
  
"Mm, it's better if I see you. Coming home means you need to spend time with your family but this way we can just stay together all weekend," Ritsu pointed out, and Mao had to admit he was right. "I mean, if you _want_ to see your family that's a different story, but..."  
  
"I think they can wait until winter break," Mao lay back down beside Ritsu, reaching to brush his hair out of his eyes. "They don't realize when I'm around half the time anyway so I'd much rather spend time with you."  
  
"Good," Ritsu grinned, leaning in to kiss him. "So that's the plan, then. We don't need to talk about it anymore."  
  
"Guess not," Mao knew Ritsu wasn't _going_ to talk about it anymore, at least not today, so it was probably better to leave it for now. "We should go do something today."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you'll be staying at home doing nothing most days once I go back to school," Mao replied, patting Ritsu's side and sitting up again. "Come on, let's at least go for crepes and hit the arcade or something...it's dark and cool inside so you won't need to worry about the sun," he pointed out.   
  
"Maa-kun knows how to entice me, huh?" Ritsu sighed but finally sat up, yawning. "Okay. But only for you."  
  
"Good," Mao kissed his cheek and stood up, heading for the bathroom.   
  
He couldn't really tell if Ritsu was actually getting more accommodating as the summer had gone on or if he just wanted to spend time with Mao regardless of what they were doing, but either way, it was a vast improvement over where he had been.   
  
And Mao was thankful for that.   


000

  
"Ritsu-chan! Mao-chan!"

"Oh, hey," Mao glanced to the side as they entered the arcade, Ritsu already complaining about the sun and heat even though the train station was barely a block away. "Didn't take you for an arcade person," he mentioned as Arashi bounded over.

He looked a lot happier than the last time Mao had seen him, an excited brightness to his eyes as he tugged on Mao's wrist and led him over behind a row of racing games.

"Oh, I'm not," Arashi wrinkled his nose. "No, this kind of competitive machismo is entirely unappealing, though I have to warn you that if you throw a challenge in my direction my pride will probably demand I take it," he winked.

"Natchan's good at everything so you'd lose," Ritsu said confidently and Mao gave him a pointed look.

"Shouldn't you be on my side here?"

"I side with the winner," Ritsu shrugged, giving Mao a lazy smile, and Mao decided that he probably didn't want to challenge Arashi after all since Ritsu would tease him forever about it if he _did_ end up losing.

"Anyway," Arashi patted Mao's arm, "the only reason I come here is because it's part of our compromise. I get to go shopping, Mika-chan gets to go to the arcade, and then we both get crepes," he stopped beside the claw machine and Mao noticed the person operating it was indeed his old classmate. "I think he's won enough stuffed animals to populate an entire daycare by now."

"They always have new ones, though," Mika didn't even falter, directing the claw with perfect precision and picking up what looked like a tiny stuffed bat that dropped into the prize chute. "An' besides, the kids back home love 'em, y'see, so I always give 'em gifts when I go back t' visit."

"Mikarin," Ritsu greeted, causing the dark-haired boy to jump.

"Ngaah!" he let out a sound that kind of sounded like a crow squawking, clapping a hand over his mouth in embarrassment. "S-sorry. Didn't see ya there."

"What's that?" Ritsu moved closer, peering over Mika's shoulder at the toy, and Mika visibly relaxed and held it up so Ritsu could take a closer look.

"D'you want it? I mean, yer a vampire 'n all, so y' prob'ly like bats, right?"

"Mm," Ritsu held it up, stretching the wings out and grinning. "Well, the stories about us turning into bats are unfortunately not true, but I guess my brother used them as the symbol for his unit for a reason."

Mika looked overjoyed that Ritsu had actually accepted the toy from him, and apparently that was all it took to make him lose his wariness because he started asking Ritsu random things about vampires as he got the machine going again.

"He doesn't know," Arashi mentioned to Mao, crossing his arms and looking at Mika with a rather fond smile. "About Ritsu-chan, I mean. I would never give away his secret like that. He likes scary things, though, and I doubt they've talked much in the past."

He had a point, Mao thought, since even though they'd all been classmates, Ritsu had never really spoken to anybody unless they addressed him first and even then he tried to end the conversation as quickly as possible.

So this...this was new, and it was Ritsu making an effort to expand his social circle even beyond ex-Knights members.

Ritsu was apparently directing Mika now, pointing at a toy far in the back corner where the claw would have the hardest time reaching, but from the determined look in Mika's eyes and the way he surely guided the contraption over to the indicated spot, he wasn't backing down.

"Well, this'll last a while," Arashi sighed, nudging Mao and pointing to one of the shooting games. "Want to kill some zombies? I promise I won't tell Ritsu-chan when I beat you."

And even though Mao knew it was a bad idea, there was no way his pride would let _him_ reject a challenge, either.

"You're on."  


000

  
"We should do this again sometime."

It was nearing sunset by the time they left the crepe shop, Arashi's shopping bags and another rather large bag of stuffed animals in tow, and Mao had to admit they'd been out of the house for far longer than he would have expected given Ritsu's normal dislike of it.

"Maa-kun's leaving me for school in a couple of weeks," Ritsu announced in a rather petulant voice, and Mika reached to pat his head cautiously.

"Before then, in that case," Arashi looped an arm around Mika's shoulders and winked. "It's fun to have people to double-date with."

"Naru-chan!" Mika was blushing rather furiously, although he looked happy, and Mao wondered briefly if that mystery text Arashi had gotten the last time they had coffee had anything to do with the boy standing next to him now.

"Yeah, why not," Mao agreed, before Mika could get any more embarrassed, and Mika smiled gratefully at him. "And thanks for this guy," he held up a little cat plushie that Mika had won, mostly because Ritsu had mentioned that 'Mao is cat in Chinese, you know,' but it was cute and he appreciated the sentiment.

"No problem! 'm glad you like 'im," Mika beamed, his body language almost completely relaxed now. Mao could tell he'd still been nervous most of the afternoon, which seemed consistent with what he remembered, but Mao had always at least gotten along as acquaintances with him so he didn't think Mika was _too_ scared to have him around.

"Just don't let him talk you into taking too many of them or you'll have more than you'd ever know what to do with," Arashi sounded like he was speaking from experience and Mao had to grin at that.

"Y' can always give 'em back..."

"It's rude for a girl to reject a gift from a cute boy, you know," Arashi tapped the end of Mika's nose with his finger and Mika squeaked and hid his face against Arashi's shoulder.

Yeah. Mao didn't know what was going on there, but whatever it was, it seemed like it was good for both of them, and that's all that really mattered.

"Well, we should get going. I have to drop Mika-chan back at his Oshi-san's so it'll be dark by the time I get home if we don't take off now," Arashi adjusted his bags and looped his arm through Mika's. "Later, boys."

"Bye!" Mika called over his shoulder, letting Arashi lead him down the street.

Mao raised his hand in a wave, looking over at Ritsu who was still fiddling with the little bat and waving it so that its wings flapped. "Do you need anything else before we go home?"

"Nope," he decided, reaching for Mao's hand and looking expectant until Mao took it in his own. "Let's go."  


000

  
"I want you to have him," Ritsu passed him the bat as soon as they got into his room, looking at Mao without blinking until Mao finally handed over the cat and he went to set it on the bed. "Now I have my Mao-cat and you have a vampire bat," he decided, and while the gesture was done in a typical Ritsu way (that is, with a good deal of ambiguity and a little selfishness), it actually made Mao feel rather touched. "I can't be with you at school all the time, but you have a reminder of me, right?"

"Yeah. Thanks," Mao set the bat beside the cat and reached to embrace Ritsu, breathing in his scent. "I'm really gonna miss you this time, you know."

"I know. I want you to this time," Ritsu promised, which was a big improvement over last time where he wanted Mao to be angry with him.

"Did you really have fun today?" Mao let go of Ritsu to flop back on the bed, opening his arms so the vampire could crawl onto his chest.

"Yeah. I hate to admit it, but you might be right about expanding my social circle," he sighed, looking annoyed about admitting that. "Not too much, since I've never been that social anyway, but Mikarin's a good kid."

"He is. He's good for Arashi, too," Mao mentioned, getting a rather searching look from Ritsu before he nodded slowly. "I mean, after what you told me..."

"Oh, about Natchan not getting close to people? Mikarin's always been a exception, even in school," Ritsu shrugged like this was common knowledge.

"I didn't think you paid attention to that sort of thing," Mao ran his hands down Ritsu's back, resting them on his waist.

"I'm always watching, Maa-kun. Probably a side-effect of living through centuries where feeling safe and content at all times just wasn't something that happened," he mused, shrugging a second later like he'd decided the reason was unimportant.

"You feel safe with me though, right?" Mao asked, kissing his forehead.

"Of course. Always. I never have my guard up around you," he promised, kissing Mao properly.

Mao reached to pull Ritsu farther up, letting the kiss grow more heated, and they probably would have gone farther if the sound of the door opening hadn't interrupted them.

"Anija! Knock!" Ritsu growled, glaring over his shoulder.

"You kids barely got in here and you're already jumping each other?" Kaoru grinned, leaning against the doorframe. Rei himself looked vaguely amused, though he didn't really respond to Ritsu's admonishment before he started talking.

"Kaoru and I are leaving for a few days to stay at my friend's resort," he explained. "We thought it would give the two of you a chance to spend time privately before Mao-kun has to return to school."

"Plus the surfing's amazing there and I'm sure we can get some privacy too, right?" Kaoru winked and Ritsu groaned loudly. "Anyway, hold off on the loud stuff for tonight since we're leaving in the morning," he slipped out of the room even as Ritsu bared his fangs and sat up.

"I'll come tell you both before we depart," Rei added, turning to leave. "Good night."

"Good night!" Mao called after him when it seemed that Ritsu wasn't inclined to.  Instead, he lowered himself back onto Mao's chest and sighed heavily.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm _really_ happy my brother has somebody to keep him alive, but why does it have to be _him_?" Ritsu whined, burying his nose into Mao's neck.

"He's good for your brother," Mao chuckled, even though he had to admit that Kaoru had gotten a lot brasher and more confident now that he had finally seemed to admit to himself that he was okay with dating another guy.

"Ugh," was Ritsu's rather telling reply to that. He looked up a second later, red eyes narrowed, and hummed low in his throat. "Anyway, you and Natchan never did tell me who won your little zombie-hunt."

"Oh! I did," Mao lied, trying not to look at Ritsu directly because he knew what was coming next.

He really should have listened to Ritsu in the first place, but for somebody who seemed rather disdainful about the entire concept of games like that, Arashi had been almost a perfect shot.

"Liar. Your smell changed," Ritsu looked smug now. "Maa-kun knows better than to lie to me," he said, a rather teasing lilt to his voice as he shifted and pinned Mao to the bed. "Am I going to have to punish you?"

"Maybe," Mao wasn't afraid of that anymore, at least, and he knew Ritsu was just kidding.

Or at least, he knew he'd enjoy whatever Ritsu had in store for him, and that was the important part.

"Tomorrow," Ritsu whispered, leaning to nip at Mao's lips. "When we're alone."

Mao tried and failed to hide the shiver that ran through his body at that, because while he personally didn't mind having Rei and Kaoru around normally...

Well, this time, he really couldn't _wait_ for them to leave. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thinking this fic will probably have one more chapter and then likely a shorter epilogue a few months in the future, but we'll see how things go! As always, thank you for the lovely comments and all the support I've received, and please let me know what you thought :)


	17. Chapter 17

By the time evening rolled around on the next day, Mao was starting to wonder if maybe Ritsu hadn't meant what he'd said about punishing him after all.  

Rei and Kaoru had left that morning, Kaoru warning them not to have too much fun and winking before sliding out the door.  Ritsu had growled about that for a while before going to make pancakes for breakfast, eating quickly before slumping off to bed again as the sun got higher.    
  
Mao had figured that meant he wasn't planning on doing anything during daylight hours and had gone home, though he was restless and jumpy all day from a combination of arousal and nervousness.    
  
It didn't occur to him until later that maybe this was Ritsu's plan, that keeping him on edge and damn near half-hard for hours was a punishment all by itself, but he went back to the Sakuma house once the sun was starting to set and just hoped that Ritsu was awake now.   
  
He cold hear the piano playing again when he entered the house, the soft sounds familiar and soothing, and he headed into the parlor expecting to see Ritsu in his normal place in front of the keys.    
  
He was, though instead of finishing his song he stopped and looked back at Mao, eyes flashing red in the setting sunlight.    
  
"Take your clothes off," he said without so much as a greeting, his voice low and rough with the slightest edge of a growl creeping into it.    
  
Mao shivered, hands reaching for the hem of his shirt before he even realized he was moving.  Ritsu was doing that thing again, the one where Mao felt compelled to listen to him, but he had to keep his wits about him long enough to at least find out what the vampire's plans were.    
  
"What are we doing?"  
  
"Punishment, Maa-kun," Ritsu hummed, leaning back against the piano and tilting his head to the side.  "Don't you trust me?"  
  
"Of course," Mao pulled his shirt off, dropping it on the floor and reaching to undo his shorts.  "But I'd still like to know what I'm getting myself into..."  
  
"I'm not going to fuck you," Ritsu said with a shrug.  "I don't think you're ready for that, and like I said before, unless you stay hard the whole time it's kind of impossible for me to."  
  
"So..."  
  
"So," Ritsu bared his fangs in a grin.  "Take your clothes off."  
  
Mao frowned, a little annoyed that he seemingly wasn't going to get an answer, but hearing that _did_ ease his anxieties a little bit so he shoved his shorts and underwear down.    
  
"Go stand against the wall," Ritsu stood up, reaching into his pocket for something.  Mao watched him curiously for a few seconds but Ritsu didn't seem inclined to move his hand back into view so he walked slowly toward the brick wall on the far side of the parlor.   
  
He never had quite figured out if the home was purposely built to be creepy (though considering a pair of vampires lived there, he wouldn’t rule it out) or if it had been smaller at one point and instead of knocking down walls they'd just made the old outer wall an inner one, but the rustic-looking brick in the sitting room had always intrigued him.    
  
He didn't think it would play a part in whatever punishment Ritsu was intending on giving him, however, but apparently that was now the case.    
  
"Hold your hands out," Ritsu came up behind him, reaching to curl his fingers around Mao's hip and urging him to turn.  Mao did, letting his back press against the wall and shivering at the coldness.  He lifted his arms hesitantly, his breath starting to speed up because he had no idea what Ritsu was up to but...   
  
But he wasn't nervous now.  If anything, he was excited, and his cock was starting to take interest even though Ritsu had barely touched him.    
  
"Press the inside of your wrists together," Ritsu finally pulled his hand out of his pocket, holding what looked like an old school tie.    
  
Mao complied, trying to hold still when Ritsu wrapped the tie around his arms with what seemed like practiced motions, and it made him wonder briefly how many other people Ritsu had done this with.  

“Nobody,” Ritsu murmured, pulling on the knot to tighten it.  “You think most people would trust a vampire to tie them up?” he looked up and smiled, leaning to kiss Mao tenderly.  Mao sighed and broke the kiss long enough to drape his arms over Ritsu’s neck, pulling him closer.  

“How did you know…”

“I can tell, sometimes.  When you go quiet like that it’s usually because you’re thinking about my past...experiences,” Ritsu explained.  “But obviously I’ve had to tie ropes before, so it’s not much different.”

Mao nodded, letting Ritsu kiss him again and smiling into it.  “So what are you planning?” he asked again.  

“Well…” Ritsu trailed off, one hand sliding up Mao’s chest and thumbing idly over a nipple.  “I want to blow you.”

“Mm,” Mao tried to concentrate on his words and not the teasing he was doing with his fingers, but even his lust-fogged brain was aware that this didn’t sound like a good idea.  “Your teeth…”

“I can…” Ritsu opened his mouth and Mao saw that his fangs looked significantly smaller than he was used to seeing them.  “Retract them.  Somewhat.  It takes a little effort which is why I usually don’t, but in this case…”

“Okay,” Mao agreed quickly then, since it wasn’t as if he was going to turn down a blowjob.  Ritsu had seemed pretty into it when Mao had experimented and he couldn’t really even feel that much, so…

“And I want to finger you,” Ritsu added, pinching Mao’s nipple and making him moan softly.  “I told you that the best way to make me feel pleasure is if I’m stimulating your prostate.”

Mao thought about that for a second, eventually deciding that fingers shouldn’t be too intimidating and it was better than being fucked outright on his first time trying anything like this.  “Yeah.  Sounds good.”

“Good,” Ritsu hummed, nuzzling Mao’s neck.  “Lift your hands up.”

Mao raised them above his head, glancing up and seeing a wall sconce that probably used to hold a candle but now mostly seemed to be for decoration.  It looked like it was made of fairly sturdy metal and had a loop in the bottom that Ritsu knotted the loose ends of the tie to, holding Mao to the wall.  

“Okay?”  Ritsu asked, sliding his fingers between Mao’s and smiling a little when Mao squeezed his hand.  

“Yeah.  It’s good,” he promised, and really the only thing he was trying to get over right now was how  _ good  _ Ritsu taking control still made him feel.  He’d mostly accepted that it was okay to be turned on by it, at least, and he was  _ very  _ turned on right now.  “Uh.”

“Praise me,” Ritsu murmured, writhing against him and mouthing at his neck.  “Tell me I’m doing a good job for you.”

“Ritchan,” Mao laughed, leaning his head back against the wall.  “I love you.”

“That’s not praise,” Ritsu’s voice hitched a little.  “Unfair.”

“Sorry.  But I…” Mao let the wall hold his weight and tried to collect his thoughts.  “You can tell how I’m feeling right now.”

“You’re relaxed,” Ritsu replied, his hands still stroking at Mao’s skin.  “Content.”

“Mm,” Mao agreed, since that was easier than him trying to find a way to articulate it.  “That’s because you make me feel safe.”

“Good.  I’m glad.” Ritsu kissed his throat again before pulling away.  “I love you, too.”

“I know,” Mao sighed happily when Ritsu trailed kisses down his chest, dropping to his knees on the carpet.  

He glanced down, blushing when he saw how hungrily Ritsu was staring at him.  “Ready?”

“Yeah.  Go ahead,” Mao wasn’t sure if he should look down or straight ahead or what, but he decided he  _ really  _ wanted to watch Ritsu so he shifted enough that he could stare down his body.  

Ritsu smiled up at him, looking markedly more human than normal since his fangs weren’t hanging out of his mouth for once, and he moved enough to pull something out of his pocket that he set on the rug beside him.  

He leaned forward, his tongue flicking out just far enough to drag over the head of Mao’s cock, and Mao tried to stop from laughing because it _tickled_ more than anything.  He was really grateful that Ritsu’s mouth was always hot, unlike the rest of him, because he could see this getting uncomfortable pretty quickly if it wasn’t.  

“Hmm,” Ritsu sighed, his eyes slipping almost closed.  His mouth slid a little lower, lips closing around the very tip, and Mao’s suppressed laughter turned into a genuine gasp.  

Ritsu hummed, sliding down almost torturously slowly as Mao tried to keep from driving his hips forward.  He was pretty sure Ritsu didn’t have a gag reflex but it still seemed kind of rude to just...shove it in like that, and obviously Ritsu wanted to move slowly.  

This was punishment, after all, so Mao figured if he got too eager Ritsu would find other ways to tease him and at least with this he knew what to expect.  

Mao could feel when his dick hit the back of Ritsu’s throat and he looked down again, feeling his face heat up at how happy Ritsu looked.  His nose was pressed tightly against Mao’s groin, far too close for him to be able to breathe, but he didn’t need to.  

“R-Ritchan…”

“Mm?” Ritsu’s eyes flicked up, something wide and innocent in his gaze that completely contradicted the fact that he had a cock halfway down his throat.  He slid his hands up Mao’s thighs, skirting over his ass, before one dipped down and Mao whined at the touch in a place that, quite frankly, he hadn’t given much thought to before.  

“You…” Mao stopped, shaking his head, because he was reminded again of how Ritsu was _created_ for sex and he didn’t  _ want  _ to think about it.  

But really, no gag reflex and no need to breathe meant that he was perfect for this kind of thing, and Mao didn’t think it was bad to realize it...and maybe feel really lucky that Ritsu was  _ his  _ and could give _him_ this kind of pleasure.  

Risu somehow managed to nuzzle him with his nose, his tongue flicking along the underside of Mao’s arousal.  

“Fuck…” Mao breathed, spreading his legs to try and balance himself more firmly.  “You can…”

Ritsu reached for the item he had pulled out earlier and Mao could see now that it was lube, which he really should have expected, but Ritsu seemed to be an expert at getting it open and slicking his fingers even while he started to bob his head.  

“Nn...Ritsu, I can’t…”

Ritsu growled, an obvious warning not to come too quickly.  Mao clenched his fingers in the tie, wrapping them around the base of the wall sconce and trying to tighten his muscles.  

Ritsu’s fingers crept up the back of his thigh again, leaving wet streaks that felt cold in the chilly air of the parlor, and when he stroked one finger over Mao’s entrance Mao couldn’t help flinching away.  

“Relax,” Ritsu pulled back, letting Mao’s cock slide from his lips.  “It’ll feel strange until I get more than one finger in, but I need to get you used to it first.”

“Okay,” Mao found it easier to do that now that he wasn’t worried about this being over right away, but he still tensed up unconsciously when he felt Ritsu’s finger actually enter his body.  

“Talk to me,” Ritsu wasn’t moving, his eyes fixed on Mao’s now and his body as still as a statue.  “Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“Nn...it doesn’t hurt, it’s just…”

“Strange, like I said,” Ritsu sounded a  _ little  _ smug about that.  

“You can keep going,” Mao decided, since staying like this wasn’t getting either of them anywhere, but the feeling of something being where it shouldn’t never really eased even as Ritsu’s finger pushed inside as far as it could go. “Ugh.”

“Yeah,” Ritsu laughed, kissing his thigh.  “Aren’t you glad you didn’t have to prep me?”

“It makes it easier,” Mao admitted, mostly because he couldn’t see how this was sexy at  _ all  _ and if anything it would just ruin the mood.  

“Patience, Maa-kun,” Ritsu teased, and Mao was about to reply that Ritsu really shouldn’t talk about ‘patience’ when he shifted his finger up and Mao’s entire body jolted like he had just been hit with an electric shock.  “See?”

“Okay,” Mao gasped, his cock twitching rather embarrassingly.  “So that’s…”

“What I don’t have, unfortunately,” Ritsu sighed, but Mao could understand his disappointment since that was a feeling he would miss now that he knew about it.  “But…”

Mao’s groan was even louder that time even though he was expecting it, but Ritsu seemed to know _just_ the way to move his finger to keep constant pressure on Mao’s prostate. 

“That’s good,” Ritsu’s breath hitched, his cheek leaning against Mao’s thigh.  “Mm,” he spread his knees on the carpet and Mao knew he was getting hard now.  

“You can add another one if…you want…” Mao wasn’t sure why he added the last part since of  _ course  _ Ritsu would want to, but to his credit he was just as slow with the second finger as the first one, looking up with concern again until he was sure Mao was okay.  

“I think…” Ritsu swallowed, tongue darting out to lick a bead of pre-cum from Mao’s dick.  “I think I’ll leave it there.  I’d go up to three if I was fucking you, but since you’re new to this…”

He didn’t wait for Mao to reply before deep-throating him, pressing his fingers up at the same time as Mao let out a sound somewhere between a moan and a whine.  He didn’t know if he wanted to shove his hips forward into Ritsu’s mouth or back against his fingers, and while this definitely wasn’t what he would consider a  _ punishment  _ now...it was still a kind of torture.  

Ritsu’s free hand was rubbing the front of his pants, the fabric stretched taut over his cock, and Mao knew this was good for him too but…

But it could be better. 

He could  _ make  _ it better.  

“Ritchan…” he managed to say, and Ritsu stopped immediately.  “Ritsu, I...I want you to bite me,” his voice broke on the words but he tried to sound as confident as he could.  

“Are you sure?” Ritsu’s eyes were dark now, barely glowing red with how much pleasure he was obviously feeling.  

“Yeah.  Yeah, I’m...not my neck, but…” he wasn’t ready for that and it would have been  _ really  _ awkward to keep Ritsu’s fingers inside of him if they did that.  

“Can I bite your thigh?” Ritsu asked softly.  

“Okay,” Mao figured that was a good compromise, his chest heaving as he gripped the sconce even harder.  

“Maa-kun is so good to me,” Ritsu grinned and Mao could see his fangs come out, sharp and deadly, but he couldn’t chicken out this time.  “ _ So  _ good,” Ritsu leaned closer and licked over the soft skin of Mao’s inner thigh like he was priming him.  

And he was, really, but the expected pain never came and instead what Mao felt was a bolt of arousal more intense than anything he’d ever experienced.  He knew Ritsu’s fangs were in his skin, and Ritsu’s fingers were in his ass, and everything in his world was narrowed down to this vampire... _ his  _ vampire...giving and taking pleasure in equal measure and  _ this… _

This was how it was supposed to be.  

It was  _ perfect.   _

“Ritsu...Ritsu,  _ please…”  _ Mao realized he had tears on his cheeks from how intense everything was, his voice sounding thick with emotion.  

Ritsu reached up to grab his cock and that was all it took, the barest brush of his fingertips making Mao come with a broken cry.  

Mao let his head thump back against the wall, his weight being held up by his wrists because his legs wouldn’t support him anymore, and he thought he must have blacked out for a few seconds because when he came to Ritsu’s fingers were out of him and he was licking gently over the puncture wounds in Mao’s leg.  

“Ritsu…” he murmured, causing him to look up.  Mao noticed that there were streaks of white in his hair and over one side of his face and blushed, ashamed that he couldn’t even control himself enough to warn Ritsu.  “Sorry?”

“No,” Ritsu chuckled darkly, swiping his fingers over his cheek and sucking them into his mouth...his mouth with obviously bloody fangs...but this time instead of feeling terrified Mao just felt really content.  “I don’t mind, as long as you promise to help me clean up after,” he went back to kissing Mao’s thigh, sealing the marks to make sure they wouldn’t bleed anymore.  “That was…I’ve never felt that much before.  Thank you.”

“It must have been good if you’re being grateful,” Mao laughed, yelping when Ritsu playfully nipped his skin.  “I’m glad I could give that to you.”

“I’m glad I could give that to  _ you,”  _ Ritsu replies, standing up and stretching his back out.  “I’m guessing it was good?”

“Incredible,” Mao let Ritsu untie his hands before all but falling into his arms, exhausted and over-stimulated, and when Ritsu suggested a hot bath he couldn’t think of any reason to say no. 

 

000

“I’ll come visit every two weeks,” Ritsu told him later when they were in bed together, freshly washed and after Mao had eaten and drank something at Ritsu’s insistence.  “That’s as long as I can go without you, I think.”

“Normally I’d tease you for being dependent but I don’t think I want to go any longer, either,” Mao let his fingers tangle with Ritsu’s under the covers, lifting their joined hands so he could kiss the vampire’s knuckles.  

Ritsu’s cheeks went adorably pink at that and he turned his face into the pillow, whining something unintelligible.  

“We still have a couple of days before your brother and Kaoru get home,” Mao reminded him, kissing his cheek this time and nudging his nose into Ritsu’s hair.  

“Mm, and I plan on having a lot of fun,” Ritsu replied, mostly to the pillow, though Mao at least could hear him that time.  He lifted his head enough that Mao could kiss his lips, both of them moving slowly and trying to savor the moment.  “I love you.  Mao,” his voice was deep again but Mao barely reacted this time, knowing that it was some sort of test to see if Mao had finally accepted _everything_ about him.  

“I love you too, you silly vampire,” he replied, kissing Ritsu again, and the smile on Ritsu’s face when they broke apart made everything that had happened over the last two months worth it.  “Sleep?”

“Sleep,” Ritsu agreed, not letting go of Mao’s hand as he snuggled into his chest.  

He was out right away, his grip on Mao’s hand never faltering, and Mao’s last thought before joining him was how glad he was everything had worked out and, above all, how lucky he was to have someone he could always trust and depend on to be his partner for life.    
  
And that was something that was never going to change.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today is the one-year anniversary of when I started posting this fic, so I really wanted to get myself motivated to update it since it's been...far too long...but between school and work and life and my motivation being lackluster lately I haven't been writing nearly as much as I'd like to! 
> 
> That being said, there's going to be one more chapter to this fic that will be more of an epilogue of sorts, but I hope you enjoyed this one and please let me know your thoughts! The response to this fic has been incredible ever since the beginning and I'm so grateful so many of you have stuck with it even through my sporadic updating schedule!!


	18. Epilogue

“I still find it strange that vampires celebrate Christmas,” Mao leaned back on the sofa, a cup of coffee held between his hands as he snuggled under a blanket.  The room was dimly-lit, though between the merrily roaring fireplace and the soft glow of the lights adorning the rather elaborate Christmas tree it felt festive enough.  

“We did a lot of things to fit in throughout our lives and some of them...well, they seemed to stick,” Rei came in with a tray full of cake squares and pastries - all Ritsu’s work, no doubt - and set them on the coffee table.  “Ritsu and I might not adhere to any of the religious practices of the season, but decorating and giving gifts aren’t exactly against any sort of vampire code,” he smiled and sat himself beside Kaoru.  “And it’s nice that everyone could make it.”

“Yeah,” Mao agreed, since he hadn’t seen most of them after heading back for the fall semester.  The Sakuma house was large enough that it didn’t feel crowded even with all of their old unit-mates there, though most of them were fairly loud so Mao was sure now that all of them were arriving that things were going to get a lot livelier very soon.  .  

Ritsu came in then, curling up beside Mao and snagging the coffee cup to take a sip.  “Too many people,” he announced, even though he of course knew all of them, but some parts of Ritsu would probably never change.  

In some ways, Mao was amazed that he had kept his promise to come by every couple of weeks, but even though they’d gotten to see each other and Ritsu made sure to rent a hotel room each time, there was something awkward about being intimate when there were strangers on the other side of the wall and as a result they haven’t really gotten to be _together_ in a long time.  

Ritsu looked a little tired, though nothing like he’d been in the summer, thankfully.  Mao had mostly gotten over his fear of Ritsu biting him so feeding him that way hasn’t been a problem, but it was pretty obvious that he needed a bigger injection of energy and there was really only one way to do that.  

“Later,” he whispered into Ritsu’s hair, hearing him growl softly and press his body closer to Mao’s.  “Let’s get through the party and then I’ll give you a reward for being good.”

“Maa-kun is so mean to me, using my weaknesses against me like that,” Ritsu whined, though instead of pestering him more he decided to grab a cookie and started munching on it sulkily.  

“I’ll make it up to you,” Mao promised, and he might not be as eager as Ritsu but he was also hoping the party didn’t drag on too late.  

“Rei, you need to set a curfew before those two go at it on the sofa,” Kaoru laughed, his cheeks a little red and a glass of something that Mao was pretty sure wasn’t juice in his hand.  

“I don’t want to hear it from _you,”_ Ritsu sniffed. “You two can be gross anytime you want, but I’ve had to wait for _months,”_ he grumbled.  

“For a creature as old as you are, a few more hours should be nothing,” Rei said calmly, though that didn’t seem to appease Ritsu any, and he opened his mouth to retort before Koga and Adonis stumbled through the doorway.  

“Ah, my children are here!” Rei leaned back against the couch, throwing his arm out so it rested casually and a little possessively over Kaoru’s shoulders.  

“Sakuma-san,” Adonis nodded politely.  “You look well.  I hope you’ve been eating enough meat.”

“Oh, he’s been eatin’ _plenty_ of meat,” Koga gave Kaoru a rather pointed look, causing the blond to turn an interesting shade of red, though Adonis didn’t seem to notice the innuendo and instead smiled and announced he was going to the kitchen to look for something to eat.  

Koga followed him after a moment, throwing a smirk over his shoulder at Kaoru, and Kaoru turned toward Rei so he could hide his face against the vampire’s shoulder.  

“Don’t mind him.  You know he likes to give you a hard time,” Rei ruffled Kaoru’s hair, the smile on his face fond and peaceful.  

“Yeah, yeah,” Kaoru sighed.  “It’s not like we’re being subtle, I guess.  Not that I want to be,” he added quickly, and Rei smiled even wider at that.

Mao found himself smiling, too, since he of all people knew how much of a struggle it was for Kaoru to finally accept having feelings for another guy, but he could tell they were happy and that Rei was in no danger of ever getting to the point he’d been at a few months ago as long as Kaoru was there to take care of him.  

Their conversation cut off again with the arrival of more people in the parlor, the volume level starting to rise significantly along with the increased crowd.  Arashi weaved his way gracefully through, tugging Mika along behind him, and sat down beside Mao before daintily crossing his legs.  

“Keep Ou-sama away from my piano,” Ritsu announced, poking his head out of the blanket for half a second before diving under it again.  

“I think Izumi-chan’s got that covered,” Arashi chuckled, and since Izumi was currently shoving some staff paper and a pen at Leo and steering him to the opposite side of the room, Mao had to admit that he did.  “How are you two doing, by the way?”

“Good,” Mao said honestly.  “Though I guess I have to thank you for keeping this guy from becoming a total shut-in.”

He and Arashi had been sending a lot of messages over the last few months, mostly relating to Ritsu, but Mao knew spending time with the rest of Knights or even with just Arashi and Mika was doing wonders for his normally uninspiring social life.  

“I’m happy to help,” Arashi promised.  “Even though he can be trying, but he and Mika-chan seem to understand each other pretty well so I don’t have to do much.”

“Mikarin’s nice to me,” Ritsu grumbled.  “He doesn’t scold me.”

“I still can’t believe I’m friends with an actual vampire,” Mika piped up, mismatched eyes shining, and Mao guessed it was probably inevitable that Ritsu had told him at some point.  “I c’n keep a secret but it’s still really cool.”

“Yeah, I guess he’s pretty cool when he’s not being a child,” Mao poked Ritsu in the side, getting a growl in return, and leaned down to kiss his cheek.  

Arashi reached over to pat his shoulder before sliding his arm around Mika’s waist and pulling him tighter to his side, his body language relaxed and easy.  

They’d all come a long way from where they were in the summer, Mao thought, and it was amazing what a few short months could do but from what he could see, all of the changes were positive.  

“Love you,” Ritsu mumbled suddenly, closing his eyes and falling asleep almost instantly on Mao’s shoulder.  

“Love you too, Ritchan,” he replied, seeing the vampire smile in his sleep.  

Yeah.  Things were pretty perfect at the moment, and while a few months ago he never would have thought ‘perfect’ would be ‘accepting a lifelong relationship with a male vampire’, right now he couldn’t see it being any different.  

He shook himself out of his thoughts, unwilling to let himself get too sentimental when the night was still young.  

There’d be time for that later... _much_ later, after he and Ritsu had their own fun, and if he had to admit it he might be looking forward to _that_ most of all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that, this story is finally complete! This was my first multi-chaptered work in the enstars fandom and it's one I've had a lot of fun writing over the last year and a bit! I'm sorry that chapter updates weren't as frequent as I would have liked and that it took so long to finish, but if you're still here and reading, thank you so much and I hope you've all enjoyed reading this fic as much as I've enjoyed writing it! 
> 
> As always, feel free to leave your thoughts below, and thank you again for all of the support I've received on this (and all of my fics) :D
> 
> I'm not quite finished with this 'verse yet, as I have plans to add one more chapter to the Rei/Kaoru side-fic, so if you're interested in that be sure to keep an eye out!
> 
> And if you want to find me on twitter, I'm at [_mikarashis](http://twitter.com/_mikarashis).


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